Why are women still being pressured to report?

[PanicAndRun]

Every time there is a thread on here about rape, a lot of posters jump on the victim to report. The posts vary from "strongly encouraging" to victim blaming, shaming ,guilting and pure pressure.

You have to report to keep others safe. Even when OP says she can't handle it. Even when OP says she's been through the process before and it nearly broke her. Even when OP is obviously struggling mentally,physically and dealing with enough guilt and shame.

We see time after time no justice being done. Victims on trial. Panties and sexual habits brought into questions.

Plenty of outrage and sympathy and heartbreak when a victim is torn to pieces, but none of the sensitivity or empathy if she doesn't want to report it.

Entirely fair enough when they are considering it or just need support and a bit of a boost that they are doing the right thing.

Why are we still trying to bully women into reporting when they don't want to?

I think the least sisterly thing one can say to a rape victim is 'think about the women he might rape next' as a means of enforcing reporting.

The only person responsible for subsequent rapes or attempted rapes is the rapist himself.

Its not a girl's or a woman's job to sacrifice herself on the altar of civilising patriarchal society.

They never insist on innocent until proven guilty when they're busy calling a rape victim a liar, fantasist, gold digger...
Exactly

Also claiming that anonymous victims are doing it ‘for the fame’.

It honestly makes me so angry,

Oh, Panic. I'm sorry. I 100% understand, you've no reason AT ALL to feel a pang.

Apparently we are responsible for "the greater good" ,preventing harm to others and so on.
The responsibility of the crime lies with the rapist but the victim has a social responsibility.

Or so I've been told.

Too bad society is nowhere to be seen when the victim is being abused and put on trial and further victimised and traumatised. Hell in most cases society is leading all of those things and even commiserating with the rapist or cheering him own,

I haven't read the thread and I am not a victim of rape so I'm not coming from a personal experience perspective.

I understand to a degree why someone would encourage a victim to report, so to prevent it from happening again, but I also know the justice system is appalling and prosecution rates are shockingly low and I'm not sure I would actively encourage someone to report - but it's just that idea of the rapist getting away with it, i don't really have the words to describe how angry it makes me.

I can see both sides but I don't agree that pressure should be applied to the victim. Poor woman, I would be prioritising support for her to chose for herself.

I know of a rapist was tried for 3 rapes. The 4th victim couldn't go ahead. The wife knew, he had two young children. He was prosecuted but got 4 years reduced to 2 and this was at a time when I think the criminal justice system was better than it is now.

Encouraging I could possibly accept. But it's pure pressure and bullying.
"You must report"
"You need to report"
"You have to report"
Various gruesome examples of other women being raped and murdered.
Made up scenarios of how he might do worse next time.

Actual anger and turning against the victim when she says she won't or can't.

Constant dismissal as to why she can't(lack of evidence,not being able to cope etc) .

I just don't get it, and it seems to be getting worse as the years go by.

We seem to have gone from one extreme (ignoring) to the other (forcing to report).

Somebody said upthread that there were 85,000 rapes last year.

Taking that as fact, even if she did not report it to the Police, one hopes the woman did not keep it a complete secret. If she told one other family or friend who was female, that makes it at least 150,000 women who are personally effected by a rape.

On the basis that this rape figure is an average of the last 10 years, that makes 1.5 million women who have been personally effected by a rape. I believe there are about 800K police women in UK, on the assumption that each police woman has had to personally deal with a rape and assuming she has at least one non police female friend that she can share psychological stress of dealing with such crimes, that would be about another 1.5 million women who also have personal knowledge of rape crimes.

So that makes about 3 million women alive today who know of rapes crime that has effected themselves or her family or close friend. Are there 3 million women who are going to vote in the coming General Election having the priority of getting laws that convict 85,000 men for the crime of Rape?

So we have women who do not report rape because the rape laws are in favour of the men getting away without punishment but nor do they themselves or their family or friends cast their vote for a Women MP Candidates who will consider this an URGENT MATTER, and bring new laws or change existing laws so that 85,000 men are convicted for the crime of rape every year.

Of course I believe it should all women who should be screaming to change the rape laws but the fact that even the women who have been raped or their friends do not use their hard won democratic right to vote to force the change of the rape laws instead of Brexit or Party Politics is SHAMEFULL.

Oh this is a new one,thanks for that.

Given that most parties can't even agree what a woman even is, who exactly should we pick for these progressive,"definitely going to work" laws?

"a Women MP Candidates who will consider this an URGENT MATTER"

Given that most parties can't even agree what a woman even is, who exactly should we pick for these progressive,"definitely going to work" laws?

All parties are misogynist.

Some of the 3 million can stand themselves if need be.

Are you standing? Who are you voting for that you believe would make a difference to the rape laws we have?

I have pledged my support for any woman who supports urgent change in rape laws. I have said so on MN previously.

Nobody (women or men) would vote for me because I hate all men and would put men in jail for just looking in a sexist way.

The sad reality is that many rape cases come down to 'he said, she said'. It is an unusual crime in that there is often no evidence beyond 'sex took place', no witnesses, the only question is over consent which is incredibly hard to prove.

I don't blame any woman for not wanting to report when we all know full and well the chances of conviction are low and the stress involved in pursuing enormous.

Yes that means guilty men walk free, but often they would anyway. It is an unusually strong individual that is willing to put themselves under such scrutiny for such a low chance of justice on the off chance it might, perhaps, maybe prevent an attack on another.

I can wish it were different but this is the real world and women have the right to do what is best for themselves.

For what little it's worth I am aware many victims of other, non sexual, assaults also choose not to report because they don't want to deal with the stress of questioning and court cases either. I don't see them being criticised for their choice.

I honestly think if I did get raped I would not report. The odds of justice is so low and the chances of being traumatised are so high that I would get more "justice" by simply rounding up a couple of mates and a broken beer bottle.

i think there should be a report but not proceed system. Where women can have the information taken and recorded. BUT that is kept on file so if there is a next one with the same person it can be used in court...... I know it isnt workable.

The sad reality is that many rape cases come down to 'he said, she said'.

If the current laws allow for the Police to record a hate crime incident without any investigation on the say so of a MAN, then change the rape laws so that rape law is that The Police / Judge / Juries have to believe a woman when she reports a rape.

This the difference between misogynist laws and feminist laws.

Women have to VOTE for this, men will not change it themselves.

I would get more "justice" by simply rounding up a couple of mates and a broken beer bottle.

I pledge my support for this as an alternative to the change in the rape laws!

Why? Why would they do that to another woman?

I don't know. Protection of own self image?

It's cruel and ignorant.

Having witnessed others going through the criminal justice system, I think I'd be unlikely to report anything but stranger rape.

I didn't report mine and I have actually had a friend ask me why when she found out because what if he did it to someone else. I think of the what ifs too but I also know how hard it is to prove, it would have been hell and I was already going through that.
I've never regretting not reporting it, I know the statistics of prosecution, I had to think of my own mental health which meant not reporting

Sorry if that response would disappoint anyone but it's a situation you can't know what you'd do unless you've been there

It's cruel and ignorant.

This sums it up I guess. Especially cruel.

i think there should be a report but not proceed system. Where women can have the information taken and recorded.

I could get on board with such a system. It would remove the pressure on individual women to pursue cases where there is no clear evidence and prevent any dilution of the innocent until proven guilty standard which is the fundamental basis of the criminal justice system for very good reason. At the same time it would allow the authorities to build cases with much better chances of success against offenders.

Of course being far too sensible it won't happen.

These women have gone through enough without a bunch of strangers piling on about reporting. Blame the bastard that commits this crime not guilt and attack again a traumatised vulnerable victim. It's the victims choice, they've just had the choice to have sex taken away let's not coherce them into another frightening situation. The closest alot of people come to sexual violence is on a soap where it all comes out alright in the wash. Reality is unfortunately very different. I absolutely admire and support someone who has the strength to go through that but they don't always get the justice they deserve. I certainly don't blame the poor person who couldn't face it or then blame them for any subsequent crimes the rapist then commits.

Sorry if that response would disappoint anyone but it's a situation you can't know what you'd do unless you've been there

On a personal level

On a political level -

Do you not feel, something needs to be done?

Do the rape laws need changing?

Men are going to keeping raping until they are stopped or PUNISHED for it under the law.

100 years of women's suffrage and counting!

Totally agree OP having read the posts on that thread! My DD couldn't go through with it in the end and all those braying for justice have no idea of the trauma a victim of rape has went through! I only hope hope and pray there is a special hell for rapists.

I don't understand the increased pressure to report. Very few women report rapes,I know that , but that's down to how the system works,how they are treated,how society sees them etc., not because they haven't been badgered enough on internet forums.

Tackling the issue of underreporting takes more than bullying and kicking victims when they are down.

Here is a great [[https://victimfocus.wordpress.com/2019/01/17/why-i-stopped-encouraging-women-to-disclose-to-police-or-doctors-after-rape/]] from Jessica Eaton on why she no longer encourages women to report rape.

The terrible conviction rates mean rape is effectively legal.

i think there should be a report but not proceed system. Where women can have the information taken and recorded.

I absolutely agree with this, and these reports should be admissible in court. One of the ways the system currently fails women is not taking into account other crimes of a similar nature. In the end, the only reason Cosby was convicted was because of corroborating testimony - but this happens very seldom as far as I can tell, it's almost as if the system discourages it. There is power in numbers, and I bet the conviction rate would go up massively if statements from previous victims (who had reported but not proceeded) could be taken into account in sentencing.