Tut your worries away, women!

[pombear]

I know this has been referenced elsewhere, but I though it deserved its own thread.

Never fear , women, a man is here to tell you how to deal with male-bodied people in your female-bodied spaces:-

twitter.com/amoozeboosh/status/1195049739148054529
@amoozeboosh
Nov 14
that's my actual gym, run by @GlasgowCC , i've not made that up. does that sound fair to you? for me to lose my peace of mind and for men to be able to come in and observe me and my kids so long as they say they're women?

@JolyonMaugham
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Replying to @amoozeboosh @GappyTales and 3 others
That would be really poor behaviour, of x, to be so insensitive to your (understandable) feelings. If I was you in that situation, I expect I'd tut loudly and move away.

twitter.com/JolyonMaugham/status/1195054474458521601

Women - just tut loudly and move away!

Amazing new strategy we just hadn't considered before Jo explained it to us!

Fucking hell. Is that all it takes? So I’ve been doing it wrong all this time? Silly me...

Jolyon has no bloody clue what it's like to be a woman, possibly in a vulnerable state of undress, and face a male who is taller/stronger than them, in a confined space.

All these men arguing away women's spaces - it's clear whose side they're on, whose side they will always be on. Those born male.

Yep, Presea just tut. It's amazing. Works in all spaces, M & S, John Lewis, Glasgow City Council gyms, women's refuges, women's prisons, schools...

just tut. Oh, and move away.

That'll work!

Otherwise, you're probably doing it wrong.

For you, and all your little wokebro mates, Jolyon,

Tutting!!! I'm not above a tut myself but everyone knows it is the most ineffectual reponse EVER. He really does come across as arrogant.

Holy shit!
He actually said that.

Clueless.

He really has doubled down and gone full-blown TRA since donating to Jennifer James's crowdfunder last year, and then getting mangled for it on twitter.

Here he is being very touchy about Nick Robinson on Radio 4.

So many men (and a good handful of women) seem to have no ability to access both imagination and empathy, and put themselves in the shoes of women.

I wonder if their frantic and hyperbolic support for transwomen is a way of masking their lack of empathy.

It’s the sheer arrogance that gets my goat. Who the fuck does he think he is?

God my memory's going.

Wasn't there a post on here from a civil servant who had been called in by HR because they had gone into an office toilet that had been made mixed sex, had seen a person they read as a transwoman in there, had turned on their heel and left?

I have to say, it might have been an urban myth. Can't remember.

And there was an organisation described on here recently that had a policy that constructing sentences in order to avoid using pronouns was transphobic.

Does Jolyon Maugham really think we are allowed to tut and move away? That there might not be consequences?

I wonder if Jolyon Maugham has ever seen footage of some of the reactions to being 'misgendered' which involve screaming, kicking out, trying to assault shop workers and threatening to get people fired? I can just imagine the sort of reaction that kind of person would have to being tutted at in a women's toilet, but I would rather not risk being the object of it in real life.

Isn't tutting probably transphobic and a hate crime? Especially if combined with moving away... You'd find yourself up in front of Humberside Police before you could even blink.

So tutting and moving away from men who say they’re women in women’s facilities won’t be viewed as transphobic then? Or are we only allowed to tut at and move away from men who are lying about being women? Um, tell us again how we distinguish the men who are lying about being women from the men who aren’t lying about being women.

Women - just tut loudly and move away!

In other words, give up your space to the male.

Oh yes, and do it in a way that makes you look petty and transphobic.

I read 'I am I am I am' by Maggie O Farrell this weekend. The first chapter is about her encounter with a man on an isolated rural path. She knows he has malign intent towards her. She describes maintaining a kind of illusion in the moment; an illusion that she doesn't know what he is intending, that she hasn't seen that he is dangerous. It genuinely appears to have some power. She maintains the illusion just to the point where they are close enough to a house for her to talk her way into creating a further illusion that there is help for her; it puts him just far enough away from striking that she gets away.

Another woman is killed by that man soon afterwards.

Sometimes that illusion is all we have; the illusion that there isn't anything to see, that there is no danger. The requirement to break that illusion just gives us an extra fraction of a second; it gives us a gossamer-thin moment of glamour (in the old sense of enchantment), a pretence of innocence that a predator has to get past. They will get past it. They will flash, they will strike, if they want to. But every now and then, the illusion will just give us an extra moment.

The tut puts us in the 'wrong', jolyon. We don't actually have any protection. To judge them, to tut, is to break the illusion and leave ourselves exposed. If we're going to judge, why not just say 'Please stop behaving like that' as we might to a woman? What extra risk is there, when it's a male body? What are we afraid of, Jolyon?

I love Maggie O'Farrell. I'm going to get that, thanks TP

Excellent post.

I would never be able to tut.

I would be too afraid of angering the male bodied person - I would be too afraid of garnering the sort of reaction that has videoed on frequent occasions. I would be scared because of the multiple experiences I've had with unwanted attention from men over the years, and because I know that there are men who like to intimidate women. And now I know that those men can get into female changing rooms just by saying they identify as women.

And just why the bloody hell should we adult human females be forced to put up with this Jolyon? Why are you, and all your buddies, gaslighting women like this? Making out there's no risk, nothing to be afraid of?

Amazing post, permanent

I'm almost crying.

Jolyon just doesn't get it. But he wins, of course, with his power and his maleness. He wins, whatever.

So many women appease and placate men instinctively, because a fragile male ego hurt becomes physically dangerous to us. If you've suffered trauma before you're more likely to freeze than be able to muster a tut.

And actually who says where the line is, when we're to be trapped in a space with a body we don't wish to share with? To me, that's the line crossed already - they cross it by knowingly forcing their male body into that space with me without asking. That shows me that they're a male who has not ever considered the impact of their maleness on females. Those are the males I'm scared of.

That example is very powerful, PT.

Jolyon has form for being absolutely fucking clueless about how life is for women.

Our rights aren't yours to give away Jolyon.

That would be really poor behaviour, of x, to be so insensitive to your (understandable) feelings. If I was you in that situation, I expect I'd tut loudly and move away.

Says someone who never could be in that situation...
Tut, tut, Jolyon, really poor behaviour of you, to be so insensitive to women's understandable feelings.

I've tweeted in response, I fully expect to be blocked soon. He's unbelievable.

I think everyone should tweet "tut you" at Jolyon from now on. Applies whatever he's saying at the time really.

PermanentTemporary, I think that was a fictional example of "transphobia" that needed addressing used in training for civil servants. So managers are trained to see backing away as a problem that needs addressing

He is such a sanctimonious tit. I have happy visions of him walking through the Temple surrounded by hoards of tutting women barristers, like JY's neighbours meowing at him.