The State of Mens' Loos

[Lamahaha]

Someone posted this on Facebook. Someone in the comments mentioned that it should be posted on MN so here we go. It should also be on AIBU but I've never posted there so maybe someone else?

At the weekend, I met my family for lunch at a nice restaurant in Notting Hill to celebrate a significant birthday.

The restaurant’s bathroom provision was two separate self-contained rooms with loo and basin, each with the same design made with a combined W and M on the door – so mixed-sex loos.

I went when we arrived shortly after noon, when there were very few people in the restaurant, and all was clean, tidy and orderly.

I went again between the main course and pudding. Both rooms were occupied so I waited in the little ante-room. I heard some movement and a rattle of the lock (no flush) and a man came out. He looked startled to see me waiting – or was he embarrassed because he’d walked out without flushing, without washing his hands, leaving the seat up, and urine all over the floor and the rim of the lavatory?

He looked perfectly normal, not drunk, not a derelict, not in any way impaired. He was in every way the sort of man who is prosperous enough and has sufficient social capital to be lunching in a smart Notting Hill restaurant. But he, and other men like him, left a mixed-sex lavatory in a sordid mess.

Every woman who has ever used a mixed-sex loo - and that’s pretty much every woman - know that men leave lavatories covered in urine and worse, and that we’ll have to negotiate puddles on the floor, wet seats and so on if we need to use those lavatories. But we’re not allowed to mention it, because it’s embarrassing and gross and ladies don’t talk about things that are embarrassing and gross, do we? And we’re certainly not allowed to mention it in the context of wanting to preserve our single-sex, women-only toilet facilities.

So let’s start mentioning it. When you go into a mixed-sex facility and it’s been left in a mess, take a photo and put it on social media. Say where it was. Put it on TripAdvisor. Name and shame. I’m going to write to the owner of the restaurant and tell her about the repulsive experience I had in her restaurant. Let’s see if she responds.

A brilliant post, I think, and nothing to do with trans so they can't call us transphobic for once.

You can always tell that a man was in before you because the seat is invariably left up! And we have to touch it to put it down. Disgusting.

They have to touch it to put it both up and down though I don't think getting precious about touching the seat is a convincing argument, as someone has to touch it either way.

I'm not convinced by this thread. On a recent thread about trans / loo solutions most posters agreed that fully contained cubicles with sink facilities in them, for use by whomever, would be the best solution wherever possible, which it sounds like the setup in the OP. I think the cleanliness issue is less urgent and will gain less traction than the women's safety argument.

And OP, I am flabbergasted that in 70 years you've NEVER seen a messy women's loo I've seen dozens!

On a separate note though, the idea of being in a boisterous, rambunctious clubby environment as I used to enjoy in my youth, and outrageously drunk men having free rein to follow women into the ladies' bathroom, makes my blood run cold.

They have to touch it to put it both up and down though confused I don't think getting precious about touching the seat is a convincing argument, as someone has to touch it either way.

But if a man wants it up and has to touch it, that's his choice. And if he leaves it up he's making someone else lower it.

And OP, I am flabbergasted that in 70 years you've NEVER seen a messy women's loo shock I've seen dozens!

Not in the sense of poo on the floor, used pads and tampoms stuck to the walls or lying around, as has been described here, no. Unflushed loos, toilet paper still in them, poos stains in them, wet seats, yes. Nothing worse than that and I get around a lot!

The worst ones are in India, where you will find poo on the seats. But that's because some Indian ladies don't know how to use Western toilets, so they squat on the seat. I've seen lots of really obnoxious loos in India, but that's because they are hardly or never cleaned.

I've been in enough smelly ones in Europe, though, especially on trains...

if a man wants it up and has to touch it, that's his choice

I thought putting the seat up was to prevent them peeing on it? Surely the men leaving the seat down to pee wouldn't be a solution?

Toilet seats should be sprung loaded UP to prevent peeing on

a man has used it standing up.

I honestly don't think WCs are designed for men to pee standing up in. They're just not suitable!
Urinals are, but they're being removed because everything has to be unisex.

Also confused about people saying they have never encountered a dirty women's toilet
Ugh, so many disgusting toilets over the years.
When I worked at an NHS place, there was one (I assume) woman who always left the cubicle in a total scene of devastation.
I used to amuse myself by trying to figure out who it was. There weren't even that many people using it.

Toilet seats should be sprung loaded UP to prevent peeing on

That is what we had when I was in university. Counterweights on the back of the toilet seat, everytime you stood up the seat came with you. Not exactly a joyful experience.

Is there any reason why every man can't pee sitting down?

I mean, if there is invisible spray, drips, and toilet seat debris, it seems like such a sensible solution.

But if a man wants it up and has to touch it, that's his choice. And if he leaves it up he's making someone else lower it.

Well, the same argument could be had for us wanting the seat down surely? Why shouldn't we have to put the seat down if we want it down? The only sensible rule is that if the seat isn't where you want it to be then it's up to you to adjust it, be that up or down? Just use toilet paper as a shield between your hand and the seat if you can't stand to touch it.

Without having spent any time in the ladies, I can confirm the gents are often a complete nightmare. Despite being a touch on the disorganised side I really wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving any toilet I had used in anything approaching a bad state. I’m baffled how people can.

Well, the same argument could be had for us wanting the seat down surely? Why shouldn't we have to put the seat down if we want it down? The only sensible rule is that if the seat isn't where you want it to be then it's up to you to adjust it, be that up or down? Just use toilet paper as a shield between your hand and the seat if you can't stand to touch it.

That's why we should have separate loos! In the ladies' always down. In the mens', always up. Problem solved!
I don't think it's a solution to open the ladies' to men; why needs toilet seat battles?

why = who

That's why we should have separate loos! In the ladies' always down. In the mens', always up. Problem solved!

You think separate loos are needed so people don't have to change the position of a toilet seat? That's not a good enough reason. I really do think women that are in favour of having single sex toilets need to stick with the valid points which are safety and privacy.

I don't think it's a solution to open the ladies' to men; why needs toilet seat battles?

But the single occupancy unisex toilets aren't "opening up the ladies to men" they are neither the ladies not the gents. You're being territorial over something that never belonged to you.

I really do think women that are in favour of having single sex toilets need to stick with the valid points which are safety and privacy.

^ this.

I don't like mixed sex toilets in places such as bars & nightclubs for safety reasons.
I've yet to come across mixed sex toilets in restaurants as I live in the south, not London.
Some of the local council leisure centres here have mixed sex changing & assaults have occurred.
Luckily my private gym is more sensible & has male, female, & family changing (with large lockable cubicles).

Now for some grossness, sorry...
Women can be just as minging as men when it comes to toilet hygiene.
We only have one toilet at work (in a hospital) & it's mixed sex for necessity.
I was absolutely shocked & disgusted to find period blood (clots etc) on the seat of our work toilet.

And the men do wee on the toilet rim & the floor.
Both sexes leave skids despite the presence of a toilet brush.
These are HCPs.

I'm tempted to start using the public toilet in Outpatients nearby as it gets cleaned more often.

Am I the only person now grotesquely fixated on what might be a more disgusting thing to find in a toilet than faeces everywhere? Thanks for that 🤮

Am I the only person now grotesquely fixated on what might be a more disgusting thing to find in a toilet than faeces everywhere? Thanks for that🤮

Sorry if that's due to my post. ☹️

How can we stop toilets becoming mixed. I really feel far more comfortable using the ladies. They are so much cleaner and I feel a lot more comfortable. My workplace (local gov) has now introduced shared facilities in the new building. What can we do!

Is there any reason why every man can't pee sitting down?
For some men their parts hang in the water.

Just adding a vote to the men's-loos-are-way-more-disgusting brigade.

I've been around for decades, travelled all over the world, had to use any and every kind of loo, and I'm the sort of old baggage who's capable of opening the door to the men's and asking if there's anyone in there when the line for the women's is too long.

Men's loos are way worse. Yes, I've found the occasional unbelievable mess in the women's. But it's occasional, as in maybe 5 to 8 times in my whole life.

The only times I've seen men's in an equivalent state to the women's is in fast food restaurants or petrol stations where there's a sign by the door detailing which personnel come in every hour to clean it. And then I think it's only because that increases your chances of being the first one using it after a cleaning.

You think separate loos are needed so people don't have to change the position of a toilet seat? That's not a good enough reason. I really do think women that are in favour of having single sex toilets need to stick with the valid points which are safety and privacy.

No, of course that's not my reason! Privacy and safety are of course the main issues. I'm someone who often travels into the tropics, annually at least, sometimes twice annually, and I use the ladies' to change my clothes at airports. I don't want men in there.
But we get mocked for wanting privacy and safety, so it's valid to bring in cleanlinesss and male habits of leaving piss on the floor etc.

My DH always pees sitting down. When I first wandered into the bathroom while he was doing so I was genuinely amazed, I didn't know it was a thing. I would think the gents whose part hang down in the water might have a bit better aim whilst standing?
But I guess standing and 'shooting' feels more 'manly' that sitting down. I gather boys and sometimes men like to have peeing contests.

I have worked as a cleaner in two situations.

One, a predominantly psychiatric hospital (it did have some specialist medical wards as well)

Two a factory, electronics industry so fairly even split of sexes working there.

In neither of these situations were the men's toilets noticeably dirtier than the women's, though the men's smelt worse, unsurprisingly as male urine is stronger.

This suggests that men are perfectly capable of not being filthy pigs but are choosing to be so in situations where they will not be back day after day and are not known to others using the facilities.

It is false and misogynistic to say women's toilets are dirtier. Everyone knows it's a lie. Men's bathrooms always reek of pee. My son's bathroom in the house reeks of pee no matter how much I clean it (yes I clean it, he never does), I've used bleach, ammonia, every kind of cleaning fluid, but he just pees all over everything and it's disgusting. Oh wait he's a "woman" now so it's a woman's bathroom so it's just as gross, that made it gender equal or something right? Right. Ha!

@MonChatEstMagnifique I mean: if men manage to make so much more of a mess when dealing with urine and faeces, imagine how much more of a mess there might be if they also had to deal with menstruation.