The State of Mens' Loos

[Lamahaha]

Someone posted this on Facebook. Someone in the comments mentioned that it should be posted on MN so here we go. It should also be on AIBU but I've never posted there so maybe someone else?

At the weekend, I met my family for lunch at a nice restaurant in Notting Hill to celebrate a significant birthday.

The restaurant’s bathroom provision was two separate self-contained rooms with loo and basin, each with the same design made with a combined W and M on the door – so mixed-sex loos.

I went when we arrived shortly after noon, when there were very few people in the restaurant, and all was clean, tidy and orderly.

I went again between the main course and pudding. Both rooms were occupied so I waited in the little ante-room. I heard some movement and a rattle of the lock (no flush) and a man came out. He looked startled to see me waiting – or was he embarrassed because he’d walked out without flushing, without washing his hands, leaving the seat up, and urine all over the floor and the rim of the lavatory?

He looked perfectly normal, not drunk, not a derelict, not in any way impaired. He was in every way the sort of man who is prosperous enough and has sufficient social capital to be lunching in a smart Notting Hill restaurant. But he, and other men like him, left a mixed-sex lavatory in a sordid mess.

Every woman who has ever used a mixed-sex loo - and that’s pretty much every woman - know that men leave lavatories covered in urine and worse, and that we’ll have to negotiate puddles on the floor, wet seats and so on if we need to use those lavatories. But we’re not allowed to mention it, because it’s embarrassing and gross and ladies don’t talk about things that are embarrassing and gross, do we? And we’re certainly not allowed to mention it in the context of wanting to preserve our single-sex, women-only toilet facilities.

So let’s start mentioning it. When you go into a mixed-sex facility and it’s been left in a mess, take a photo and put it on social media. Say where it was. Put it on TripAdvisor. Name and shame. I’m going to write to the owner of the restaurant and tell her about the repulsive experience I had in her restaurant. Let’s see if she responds.

A brilliant post, I think, and nothing to do with trans so they can't call us transphobic for once.

Even if men don't leave a mess: they DO leave a fine spray on the floor. You won't notice if your loo is carpeted ( which is pretty disgusting!) but if it's tiled just check after a man has used it standing up. That's why in German speaking countries many mothers train boys to pee sitting. They know: there's a fine urine film around the loo. That's what we step in.

Lamahaha

I thought some women didn't want mixed sex toilets because of safety/privacy concerns, which I can understand would be an issue for some women. I didn't realise it was about pee on floors. But there will be pee in ladies toilets too, public toilets are not the cleanest of places.

Even if you do believe pee is only found on the floors of men's toilets, men will then walk it through wherever they go at work, shops, home on their shoes.

My bathrooms do not have carpet by the way. Tiled floors only here.

Capitalism first brought us women’s loos. The first female facilities in many western countries appeared in department stores at the far end of the women’s attire section in an attempt to tempt women as consumers. Many people don’t care about women’s rights or women’s feelings. But most right minded business people care about women as consumers. Women are particularly powerful consumers in eateries where they are more likely to be making choices about large bookings. If you don’t like sharing loos with men then write to the establishment, making it clear that they will loose you as a consumer and stick to it.

Of course privace/safety is the main issue. But cleanliness is another one.

And I have to say, I just don't believe that women's loos are dirtier. I'm going on 70, have always travelled a lot, and never encoutered a mess in women's loos. Not once. At the most, an unflushed toilet or a wet seat. But a mess, no.

I've seen disgusting toilets in mixed sex third world countries, or in those portaloo things at public beaches, events etc, smelly toilets in trains, but never a disgusting female-only loo. That said, I don't go to night clubs or other places where women might get drunk and vomit in the loo...

Anyway, here's a sign I've seen in a couple of German private mixed sex loos (like in guest houses). And yes, once you've noticed the floor spray after a man has used the loo, you can't un-notice it! And yes, it clings to shoes and is carried around everywhere.

Our local costa is mixed sex, as is the loo in the aldi, and it's disgusting. They are in capable of not pissing everywhere. They are incapable of putting the fucking loo seat back down, forcing women to have to touch it.
I also used to be a cleaner. The women's toilets were always, always fine - maybe some water and soap from the sink had splashed on the floor, but they were a breeze to clean. The men's toilets were always, always vile. I mean, adult men, pissing on the floor, all over the seats, crap left in the toilets (why did they not flush??!!). Once, one of them had pissed deliberately up the actual door. I mean, why?? These were teachers as well, not just average scummy Joe Public.

@YouJustDoYou I also used to be a cleaner. The women's toilets were always, always fine

I believe you. I keep seeing these reports that women's loos are disgusting but I just don't believe them because in 4 decades of using women's loos frequently I've never ever seen it.

I don't understand what taking photos of dirty mixed sex toilets will achieve when I was under the impression that safety/privacy is the issue for the women that are unhappy.

Because the argument can then be based on a simple, provable matter of hygiene and cleanliness rather than women's oversensitive feelz re safety/privacy and our illogical womanly fears that we will be attacked. /sarcasm. That's what people mock.

Photos prove something. We can't prove our wish for privacy, or use it as an argument. Because women's wishes don't count.

We have a men's toilet and a women's toilet (closed cubicles) within our work changing room (restaurant). The men's is always absolutely disgusting. Our cleaner has refused to clean it several times in the past and at least once or twice a year it is so blocked it is unusable until a plumber comes out.

And I have to say, I just don't believe that women's loos are dirtier. I'm going on 70, have always travelled a lot, and never encoutered a mess in women's loos. Not once. At the most, an unflushed toilet or a wet seat. But a mess, no.

You have been more fortunate than me then. When one of my kids was little they almost put their hand on blood on a seat when I was taking them to the toilet. The cleaner I know has told me about many disgusting findings in both female and male loos. Shit wiped on the walls in both is one of the not too bad things. 😷 I won't even repeat some things.

Most ladies loos are ok and most mixed sex toilets that I've used have been fine too. I really do understand and sympathise with the safety and privacy concerns but I think if toilets are set up well then they can be OK. Most people just use the loo as quickly as possible, clean up and leave.

Because the argument can then be based on a simple, provable matter of hygiene and cleanliness rather than women's oversensitive feelz re safety/privacy and our illogical womanly fears that we will be attacked. /sarcasm. That's what people mock.

But unless you go in directly before and after a man and then find it left in a mess, you can't say it was definitely caused by a man. Or do you mean you will check it before and after you see man use it? That's a bit weird.

I think women who have concerns about mixed sex loos should keep with their valid concerns over safety as their argument, not wee on seats and floors that is present in both men's and ladies loos.

I work as a cleaner. My sole job is to clean the toilets and empty bins.
People are generally disgusting. Toilet roll all over the fall, there’s no need!!
Food and drink left on the floor
Poo on the floor and sometimes rubbed on the walls
Used sanitary towels stuck to the walls or just left on the wall( also same with Tampons)
I find female toilets are worse then males.
This is in a family friendly environment 😪
It’s the general public that’s disgusting, not the lack of trying from the cleaners to keep them clean

I was chatting to DB yesterday about life/work and he mentioned that an e-mail had been sent round by management reminding all staff to wash their hands after using the toilet and that hand sanatizer is now also in the kitchen.
DB works in a large IT firm so I said why have they had to send and email?

His reply was they sent it to everyone but its aimed at the men as the toilets are gross by the end of the day. He explained that just today he was at the urinals and a colleague came out of a cubical after flushing walked straight past the sink and out the door without washing his hands.
I asked if that prompted the e-mail and he said "oh no the email was sent because somebody has been wanking in the men's and there was sperm on the door inside of a cubical"

MonChatEstMagnifique
I agree with you and have made the same argument on here before.

The people saying they have never seen a mess in a ladies toilet must be incredibly lucky because whenever I use a ladies loo I often have to go into several cubicles before I find a clean one.

At work we have single sex toilets and the cleaner has, at times, refused to clean the ladies toilets because they were left in such state. The manager even had a meeting with all female staff to warn us about the state they were left in. It's improved but they still aren't that great.

When my son was in uni he worked in a bar and had to clean the toilets. He told us so many stories of what he found - men's and women's equally minging.

The people saying they have never seen a mess in a ladies toilet must be incredibly lucky because whenever I use a ladies loo I often have to go into several cubicles before I find a clean one.

Yes, me too. I really hate it if there's a queue for the ladies and you have to use the cubicle that becomes free. I'm praying that it's not in a state as people look at you like your mad if you say, "I'll wait til another one is free."

I feel really sorry for the cleaners. Why are some people so disgusting?

I need to move away from this thread as I need to be able to eat breakfast soon. I'm not feeling too hungry after this thread. 😷

I agree men’s toilets are disgusting but it’s also an issue for some men. I took my DSs to the women’s toilet for as long as I possibly could because he hated going to the men’s toilets and they still do now they are teens. As a woman I prefer single sex toilets, but as a mother of boys especially when they were small I see unisex as a safer and cleaner space for them.

I'm going to vent here about the ladies loo at work.
It's at the end of a corridor with no exit. I know who comes and goes along that corridor. One time we were the only people working there (holidays).
And she keeps peeing on the seat!!!
It's got somewhat better since I've put two huge signs with peeing instructions though.

I worked as a cleaner and whilst the women's (or girls, I also cleaned school toilets) were occasionally dirty, the men's were consistently rank. In fact it was always more noticeable when the women's were dirty because it was unusual.

In rather pleasant news, I visited the West Yorkshire Playhouse last week and noticed that they were advertising the location of gender neutral, female and male toilets on each floor which made me very happy.

Just adding that we have another loo used by many more women, including students, and it's almost always clean.

The thing is the owners of these establishments are perfectly capable of assessing whether, having made their provision unisex, suddenly both are dirty. Or whether they were both always dirty.

It's not guess work based on whether people feel ladies loos are just as bad !

Furthermore if the loos are dirty it must be solved. The establishment can decide which is more expedient and cost effective, reverting to single sex or hiring extra cleaners.

Complaining about dirty toilets, taking to trip advisor, etc, is of course a perfectly reasonable course of action.

But unless you go in directly before and after a man and then find it left in a mess, you can't say it was definitely caused by a man. Or do you mean you will check it before and after you see man use it? That's a bit weird.

You can always tell that a man was in before you because the seat is invariably left up! And we have to touch it to put it down. Disgusting.

My SIL always does this. My son doesn't. He sits. He had a meticulous German childminder when he was small!

What I have noticed in this era of equality is that if we have the temerity to accuse men of something that they actually do then we have to accuse women in equal numbers of the same whether they do it or not, we are even heading this way with rape and have been there for a while with domestic violence and sexual violence.

Another thing is that the issues of privacy is hardly relevant in an enclosed loo in a restautant (which is what we're deiscussing here and safety is normally also irrelevant. So it does come down to cleanliness. Bad reviews for dirty mixed sex loos is an excellent way to get such establishments to wake up.

My DH often complains how disgusting the loos are in pubs, restaurants, shops etc.

I am not sure how women's loos compare but I definitely have been in some pretty bad ones. I am not talking music festivals but in shops, restaurants, public conveniences. Some of them have been pretty disgusting

There's a great cafe in our town that I use quite often. It has a single toilet with basin etc all inside. I was waiting to use it one day waiting and waiting when a female member of the serving staff eventually emerged. She flushed, but didn't wash her hands (no sound of tap running, no sound of hand dryer blowing). I haven't eaten there since, and when I have a coffee I wait until she's busy with something else before ordering. People are filthy generally but I think with men it's territory marking, and, to an extent, they expect that someone else will clean up after them because that's what usually happens at home.