Should I object to this drag event or not?

[Ahundredpercentthatbitch]

I am part of a fundraising group for a local branch of a national charity. Next month we’re organising a fundraising event and the host of the event will be a drag act (I wasn’t involved in booking the acts - I’m just support taking tickets on the door, behind the bar, etc).

The thing is, I’m not very comfortable with drag. To me it’s just ladyface. Should I say something and potentially create bad feeling in the group? Or just decline to volunteer?

Some people view drag as the artist taking the piss out of gay men, not women....
I think it depends on what their act is like-is it actually funny? If it genuinely makes you uncomfortable and you won't resent missing out on the evening then definitely don't volunteer.

I don't feel terribly comfortable with loud/over the top people (and drag acts are both of those) but I think it would be a mistake to say anything. Each to their own, and all that. It's a one-off, presumably? If you're behind the bar/on the door you can just stay one step removed from what's happening on the stage. The people who go will be having fun so it'll be a good atmosphere.

I would just decline to volunteer and if asked say something in private. Don't support something you don't feel comfortable with, even if the cause is a good one.

Is it a children's charity? The host will be there all evening and in advance so it's not a one off song/comedy act as part of the evening and I think you're justified in not wanting to be involved.

Oh fgs get a grip. It is for charity, if you feel so uncomfortable don't bother going.

I dislike drag for reasons outlined on other threads and would decline volunteering the event.

Is it a children's charity?

Savagefenty, if OP was African and the charity event was a blacked up minstrel show, would you still tell her to get a grip? Or is it ok for men to put on womanface and parody and mock women, but not to wear blackface to do exactly the same thing to BAME people?

It is for charity

Oh that's ok then

Decline to volunteer and explain why it's not your thing.
Sometimes I think fundraisers like this just aren't thought through - like psychic nights. It's normally one persons idea and everyone goes along with it.

Declining to volunteer is a pretty reasonable action to take, it doesn't prevent others from enjoying the event.

Our work Christmas party had a burlesque act involved two years running, I hated it the first year and went to the loo the second year. Wish I'd not gone but its semi compulsory.

@TemporaryPermanent how could any workplace think that was a good idea????!

Drag is horrible.

More and more, I am convinced that drag is offensive. If it isn’t offensive, then the current accepted opinion on all sorts of costumes is wrong.

I would probably just skip this particular event.

I’m not keen on drag. The topic came up on the office and a (gay male) colleague commented that he found drag queens scary.

I'm not sure that the racial example is completely comparable. I've always associated drag acts more with gay men - who often act 'effeminately' in the same manner that some lesbians act 'butch'. More a subversion/reversal of gender stereotypes (but somewhat exagerrated) opposed to simply being demeaning/parodical.

I’d decline to volunteer. I wouldn’t want to be associated with an event like that.

God knows Grim. It was one of those huge pubs with multiple work parties at the same event. The thing I hated most was the crowd of tanked up men (not from my workplace) suddenly rushing to stand by the dancefloor stage to look at bare breasts which nobody could object to because it's empowerfulising for the burlesque artist.

Drag is gay men gaining acceptability from straight men by mocking a target they both hate (i.e. women).

SavageFenty
Oh fgs get a grip. It is for charity, if you feel so uncomfortable don't bother going.

What has getting a grip got to do with it? Lots of women feel insulted by drag, and they're entitled to their feelings. In the OP's shoes I wouldn't volunteer, and I'd make my objections known. Why are women always supposed to shut up and be nice? "It's for charity" isn't a valid argument for putting up with being insulted to your fucking face.

A fun run not all that long ago had a donation refused because the men dressed as ‘sexy nurses’ and the charity found that pretty offensive.

I agree - women are told ‘be quiet, don’t make a fuss, be agreeable, be nice, don’t rock the boat’. Look where that got us.

Temporary - I thought you must work with me then as my works Xmas do also had burlesque for two years running. I did say how uncomfortable it had made me feel the second time round (and this was many years ago before I realised just how important women's rights are to me) and everyone I spoke to, women included, just shrugged it off

These days - I would not go and say why, although only perhaps to my line management who are well aware of my views. My FTSE 100 company has well and truly drank the kool-aid and I felt anxious stating I was gender free on a recent work survey. But it's true - that is how I feel.. if you're going to ask me what gender I identify with, that's my answer.

Yes, I'd opt out & say why.

Charideee is generally hugely reliant on women doing the heavy lifting.

Just wish them well, say you're uncomfortable with it & why.

You're unlikely to be alone!

Charity is a broad church these days and I no longer take them at face value due to the likes of Mermaids.

Charity can mean a cause that I care passionately about, whose ethics I align to.

Charity can also mean
Children in Need fundraising for Mermaids, or NSPCC employing rubber man, or Barnado's sponsoring Stonewall Champion Schools' gender ideology programme, or Kids Company or Oxfam and Haiti.

Just because a man puts on a woman costume for 'charity' it does not automatically mean a free pass to behave how they want.

Drag is gay men gaining acceptability from straight men by mocking a target they both hate (i.e. women).

Because straight men love a drag queen, right? 😂

I only aim at the powerful. When satire is aimed at the powerless, it is not only cruel - it's vulgar. Molly Ivins

Punching down the hierarchy is never good, for any reason.

My mum loves Danny La Rue, Lily Savage, Mrs Brown. The Two Ronnies delivered some terrific character performances in drag. I grew up enjoying panto dames. We went to see Hinge and Bracket perform. So I can appreciate artistry, costume, performance skill etc etc.

But.

It's not ok to black up as Othello or stick on a false nose as Shylock.

Black & White Minstrels will never be shown again.

Big hoohas over Zulu, native American, Chinese costumes etc being cultural appropriation.

So why is it 'ok' to tuck, pad, wig and slap to present a usually quite grotesque parody of women? Graham Norton's audience going silly over Ru Paul annoyed me.