My 'Patriarchy Chicken' Week

[WomanBornNotWorn]

Probably because I'm going to the A Woman's Place event in Brighton tonight, I've decided that this week I will mostly be playing Patriarchy Chicken.

If you haven't heard of it, it's a game where a woman walks down the pavement without getting out of the way of men - and then sees what happens.

Players report men cannoning into them, physically moving them out of the way, knocking with elbows and backpacks, with incredulous stares, insults, or 'sorry didn't see you'.

I've never really thought about it - I'm 5'8" so the size of the average British man, so maybe it doesn't affect me as much as other women.

But this week I'm consciously going to test - do they see me? And do they expect me to move out of their lane?

I'll let you know what happens.

thestand-online.com/2019/04/03/i-played-patriarchy-chicken-for-a-week/

thestand-online.com/2019/04/03/i-played-patriarchy-chicken-for-a-week/

Ooh, I make a conscious effort to do this on a regular basis and I'm definitely getting better at it. I too am fairly tall, and I do think that's an asset. I find deliberate eye contact or deliberate lack of eye contact is a crucial tool in my arsenal. I've never been barged, but I've certainly generated surprise and it makes me feel good. I should say my aim is not to be a pavement arsehole, but to not be a pavement mouse (and sometimes to shock pavement arseholes into noticing their arseholishness).

Exactly!!

I just read this while walking into town. Only just realised that I automatically move to the side for everyone

I never understood the point of this exercise.

It's not about timidly dodging out of everyone's way every time when walking or marching around expecting everyone to move out of the way every time either. Otherwise men would be crashing into each other all the time if they both held their ground. Either manoeuvre seems excessive to me.

A more 'equal' manoeuvre would be that each person walks towards one another and each side twists / turns sideways to avoid crashing as you pass by. So neither side has had to 'lose' or 'give way' or force the other person to change course.

I'm 5'0 and I've used the 'equal' manoeuvre on many occasions.

A more 'equal' manoeuvre would be that each person walks towards one another and each side twists / turns sideways to avoid crashing as you pass by. So neither side has had to 'lose' or 'give way' or force the other person to change course.

Isn't this the norm? You both move over a bit and sometimes both move the same way, and end up doing so three times over before laughing sheepishly and apologising?

I don't know, maybe it is different in cities, I'm a small town woman and dislike crowded streets so tend to avoid cities where possible but this one has never really been an issue for me.

If I may present a dissenting opinion, the behaviour you are seeing is not men vs women, or indeed any sort of power struggle. It is a simple matter of observation.

I’m a bloke(which is a coarser male sub-type) and when I’m out on my own I look where I’m going, and as a result I’m bouncing around like a pinball (or for those of a scientific bent, it’s Brownian motion on a larger scale.)

But when I’m out with my wife, I’m walking and talking and looking at the perfection that is my wife (and using peripheral vision to make sure we don’t walk into a lamppost.) And now, people get out of our way.

I’m sure there’s some very interesting psychology involved, but really it’s basic impact avoidance

My interest is - DO women automatically move aside more, without thinking, and if so, why? Conditioned to being nice, avoiding incidents etc any more than men? Or do most people M or F just go with the flow?

I've never checked.

What happens if we consciously don't? Do we have more collisions, do we notice others simply move out of our way instead, so the flow stays the same? That's what I'm looking to observe. I don't know if I DO shift and swerve (obviously yes for wheelchairs, scary sorts, family groups, joggers, pavement cyclists - 😡 - etc) so I'll be in observation mode.

OP, I've played this "game" on occasion. I live in a fairly old town with a lot of narrow pavements so it's not a case of being able to both move out of each other's way. I made sure to equally not move out the way for both men and women for a few days at a time. I can report I was barged and sworn at on more than one occasion, one person followed me some way to continually let me know I was a "moody fat bitch" which was nice of them. Without fail they were all men. I wish this wasn't a power/man vs. women thing but it is.

I also on my braver days started confronting the businessmen who like to push into coffee shop queues. Same reactions as above really. Good luck!

Isn't this the norm?

Not at all. So many people expect you to get off the pavement and walk in a puddle / road so that they can keep taking up the pavement/ walking three abreast / not have to pull their dog's leash etc. They make no effort and the assumption is that you will literally jump out of the way for them. Personally I think it's more of an age thing (IME 50+ seem outraged at having to accommodate anyone else) rather than sex - but I live in a retirement area so my sample is probably skewed.

I too am 5'8 so hard to miss!

My experiment to date today involved a huge big guy on the stairs in the gym moving out of my way; and a small group of teenage girls making like they would walk right over me. Too small a sample group to draw any conclusions yet.

@MythicalBiologicalFennel - I would also agree age is a big factor. A 55-60 year old woman is perpetually annoyed I won't let her rock up to the bus stop after me every morning and get on the bus before me. I have no respect for my elders apparently. I'm in my 30's .

I'm 5'1" and 58 - I've been doing this since before it was a 'thing'. I give way to people who look to be at any sort of disadvantage to me - infirm, encumbered with small kids etc. And I do the mutual avoidance with normal people who are behaving considerately. But if there are people walking as though they own the pavement I stand my ground - walk assertively and stop dead rather than dodge into the road to avoid them.

I tried to play this last time someone mentioned and if I hadn't moved at the last second I'd have been seriously injured by a late teens male on a bike

Only play the game with cyclists if you've got somewhere to jump to and can do so quickly enough - a bit before the last second!

Mediocre - I wouldn't think of a 30 something as being in a different age category to myself.

What a load of infantile bullshit

I did this with a teenage boy the other day. Much taller than me but very skinny. He was totally absorbed in his phone and several other people had stepped round him out of his way - he was oblivious. I stopped dead in my tracks and braced myself ( I'm only 5'5" but I weight train so am slim but solid). He cannoned into me and bounced off and was going to have a go at me until he realised I was a 50+ woman so I couldn't possibly have almost caused him to fall! He mumbled an apology and I hope he looked up from his phone after that. I did enjoy it

@ErrolTheDragon me either, that's why I raised an eyebrow at her. If she was in her 90s and a bit unsteady etc, I would of course allow her to go ahead of me but as far as I am concerned, between the two of us, it's first come first served!

Sorry just re read my original post and didn't make it clear, she actually told me I had no respect for my elders. Hence I pulled this face at her . I know she isn't 60 yet as she was moaning to someone else she should get a free bus pass as she'd retired early.

Age is a factor? Over 50s are the aggressors? Fuck that!

I'm 5'5" and 54 years old. I am a chronic mver overer!

Teens and twenties don't even look up, they just walk through me

30-somethings look up, if we make eye contact they assume I'll move over for them

Common denominator on those 2 groups - their perma-linked mobile phones. I am obviously making way for the expensive communication device and the human being to which it has been surgically attached!

Then 40-somethings - mixed bag that one.

50/60-somethings, that's a game of who can be more accommodating, often resulting in one of us asking the other to dance

Older than that I move over!

By sex? Males are more likely to be shocked, surprised and apologetic when they make contact - probbaly because they can't belive I didn't move over

Females get gobby and defensive, sarcastic - probably because it is safer to get aggro with me, a female, than it is with a male.

But both sexes and all ages do it!

And yes, I kept a tally for about 2 weeks. Now I have a puppy, EVERYONE moves over

What a load of infantile bullshit 

People - especially able bodied men - being so self absorbed or self important that they literally trample over other people, you mean?

The serious point to this is that not everyone can dodge pavement hogs, or may not be able to stand being barged into.

Mediocre - I rather suspect this person has been a whinging CF all her life!

A friend of mine started me playing this a while back. She's very tall, dresses in trousers and baggy shirts, and noticed women getting out of her way when she cut her hair short. It really struck her the difference in the way strangers interacted with her in the street, depending on whether she read as a tall, physically-powerful man or an equally-tall woman.

However short I cut my hair, I will never be mistaken for a man, so if I walk down the street without dodging, I get shoulder-barged so many times!

You know I've never thought about this. But I think I always used to get out of everyone's way automatically. Then I lost the sight in one eye and have poor sight in the other, so I often literally don't see people if they are to one side of me. I have started taking to carrying a white indicator stick when out and about since an incident in the supermarket when a young man bumped into me (yes, not the other way around) and said loudly and aggressively, 'are you fucking blind or what?' - as it was still early days in me getting used to sight loss I didn't have the gumption to say, 'actually yes, on that side' I just stood there literally shaking.
I never realised it was male entitlement, I literally thought it was my fault.
Having said that I once had a woman in a hurry barge me out of the way in a shop too, so maybe it's just general rudeness.
I'm also small and unsteady on my feet so pretty easy to bowl out of the way, so I guess I'll have to pass on this game.

Oh I can relate to all the things you say *
Add message | Report | Message posterCuriousaboutSamphire* - now I want a puppy! (sadly not up to looking after one and DH is allergic)

oops sorry my c and p went a bit wrong there!