That's heartbreaking 
Another threat from twitter.com/sathananas
*TMI - but one of my regrets with transition is that I never got to explore my sexuality and my body in a healthy way.
It's sad that it got seen as normal in the trans community to "wait 'til after transition" to be intimate, or to want to bind while being intimate with a partner.
I remember discussions in my friend group about how it was "suspicious" if an FTM managed to come to terms with / let a partner touch body parts they are dysphoric about.
This normalization of self-hatred is heartbreaking to me.
It's another aspect that mirrors anorexia, to me.
"I don't want to let my partner touch me until I am thin." is perhaps one of the most common sentences you can read on ED boards, on threads about how it affects intimacy.
Not just anorexia - body image issues in general.
"I can't let my girlfriend touch me without a binder until I have my breasts removed and will look male to her."
It makes me really... really sad.
I told my therapist that and he nodded his head - it made sense to him that I would hate my breasts since I was "a man".
The only advice he offered was to think of myself as a man with gynecomastia.
More dissociation. More playing pretend.
More seeing my breasts as a mistake, as a condition, as something that shouldn't be there.
Always, always pretending I was just an "odd, malformed man who has to work hard and go through pain to look like one" - instead of, you know, working on accepting what I actually am.*
twitter.com/sathananas/status/1181932976315289601?s=21