Esprit Blouses copy - WTF?!

[Pebbles574]

So... I clicked through from a promo email to have a look at the new collection of blouses at Esprit (one of my favourite clothing lines) and ended up browsing the lifestyle description blurb at the bottom of the page and couldn't quite believe what I was reading...

www.esprit.co.uk/womenswear/clothes/blouses

The blouse is to us what the shirt is to men. Yeah, define us in terms of men, won't you?

The time has come. In a few days time you'll be launching your own little company. The basic idea of offering modern flower arrangements, confectionery and pastries for weddings and parties has been with you forever – now you've finally taken the plunge! Does it have to be a 'little' company?!

This morning you have an important meeting with a supplier, who wants to show you some particularly exclusive roses. Dressed in a black, cotton mix stretch blouse and skinny jeans you meet the gentleman in your shop and go through his product range.

And the next day... In a crinkle blouse with stylish print you stand in the dealer forecourt admiring your new van.

And so it goes on...
Who writes this crap?

I haven't dared read the copy on the other pages yet

Yeah, all we ever do is run wedding businesses and make sure we look hot for business meetings with gentlemen. Fucking awful!

I think it is probably written like that to get people's backs up and go viral.
I am also almost certain that the vast majority of people don't read any of that just look at the pictures, nobody needs a story to buy a blouse.
I'm not saying I agree with it, but in the great scheme of things there is more to worry about.

Maybe something was lost in translation? Esprit never used to write wanky copy with their items. I think they are probably in trouble with the uk market as had shut lots of stores. This model of writing doesn't really fit them as a brand tho.

What a load of utter drivel. Written by Emily Howard and signed off by her good friend Florence.

Oh my god my eyes are bleeding.
Sexism has gotten so much worse over the past 10 years. It used to be that women could do whatever men could. Now the new rule is that we must love flowers and pretty delicate things and if we want to earn money, we should embrace our girlieness and run a wedding or events business. I am guessing the van is pink.

Yeah, I wondered if it was a translation thing too, but I guess the content would still be the same!
I agree nobody probably reads it but it’s still pretty shit.
It sounds like the sort of thing that got written in advertising briefs in the 1980s, but at least it wasn’t published!

That really does read as though it was written by someone deep in the throes of AGP. Or maybe it’s lifted from a Mills and Boon type trash novel where it’s important to establish that the heroine is just independent and competent enough to be plausible without tipping over into unpleasantly unfeminine. Or maybe those novels are always written by AGPs.

It’s a shame because I really want to look at the clothes, I like the look of them.

Even if no-one reads it, the fact that they don't see any problem with putting it out there is somewhat troubling.

I've found their linen T shirts pretty decent - admittedly the competition isn't strong.

Id Love to seem them with rewrites from the real world...

The time has come. In a few days time you'll be launching your own company. The basic idea of using your unrivalled knowledge of industrial processes to offer bespoke contract management for multi million pound projects has been with you forever – now you've finally taken the plunge!

If we are going to be aspirational, lets be aspirational

I like your idea XenoBio!

“... the next morning, in crinkle blouse with stylish print, you stand in the dealer forecourt explaining to her why the 2017 turbo diesel engine in the van you’ve just negotiated a hefty discount on, is superior to the 2019 update.

Good grief.

I can't remember where I read it or was told it but this reminds me of the anecdote of a man saying indulgently to a women at a party,

"So what do you find to do with your little self all day?"

And the woman put her finger in her mouth and lisped "Silly me's a judge."

Nothing's changed much really.

Michelle 😂😂😂😂

dance

This morning you have an important meeting with a supplier, who wants to show you some particularly exclusive mining machinery.

Dressed in a black, cotton mix stretch blouse, skinny jeans and contrasting hi vis vest, (with appropriate addition PPE, of course) you meet the gentleman in the service yard of an open cast mine and go through his product Range.

I feel inspired.

Only if I can get a pink van though to match my brain.

Love the re-writes Xeno.

For my industry.....
The time has come. In a few days time you'll be launching your own company. The basic idea of offering modern research-based therapeutic interventions, in a multi-disciplinary environment has been with you forever – now you've finally taken the plunge!

This morning you have an important meeting with a supplier, who wants to show you some newly released standardised assessments.
Dressed in a black, cotton mix stretch blouse and skinny jeans you meet the gentleman in your clinic and go through his product range.

And the next day... In a crinkle blouse with stylish print you stand in the dealer forecourt admiring your new vehicle. Environmental impact, kpg, acceleration and power are important considerations when attempting to get to clients from your variety of bases.

Someone should send this to Esprit!

I think I'm going to start narrating a typical working day to myself to make me reach even higher: dressed in a creased top and slightly too tight grey chinos, you discuss the photocopier's shortcomings with your colleague, whilst effortlessly remaining on hold to Eon.
I feel better already!

Lordy, try the nightwear section. I was almost expecting a pillow fight !

This is not written for women, not at all.

As soon as you wake up you sit at the kitchen table still wearing your jersey wool nightshirt with its delicate button facing, coming slowly to life through the bright morning sun and a big mug of coffee whilst making a start on a shopping list for the evening. It doesn't take long before your friend joins you, just as dozy, dressed in cotton boxer shorts and a stretch top.

And the next day... In a crinkle blouse with stylish print you stand in the dealer forecourt admiring your new Tesla. Environmental impact, corporate image, as well as unrivalled acceleration and power are important considerations when attempting to get to clients from your variety of bases whilst driving a vehicle that befits your status as a the director of a top performing company

'As soon as you wake up you paw blindly at the table for your glasses, knocking your water mug down your jersey wool nightshirt with its delicate button facing, then down half a mug of instant coffee before peering into the drizzle and wishing the dog didn't need a walk. Meanwhile your dozy 'friend', dressed in cotton boxer shorts and a stretch top, pretends he can't hear the baby, the dog or the dishwasher.'

It is a bad translation of the copy on the French page (not that well, 'viscose' has come through as 'viscous' as you are 'dressed in a softly cascading viscous blouse' ). Very clunky in English but the meaning is the same regardless. The rewrites are much better!

Is anyone else getting Seinfeld flashbacks?

m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ad5Bu9GN3zg

I would really like to have a cascading viscous blouse.

Boak!

Boden used to be great for this kind of shit. In the days when someone wrote copy in the supposed "voice" of Johnnie Boden himself. One blouse had a caption that was something like: "I see you wearing this sheer blouse as you skip along a promenade in Brittany..." Ugh now I feel not only patronised, but creepily watched too!

I love The basic idea of offering modern flower arrangements, confectionery and pastries for weddings and parties has been with you forever. Umm that's not really an idea so much as a battered old trope that's been hanging around women's magazines forever.