The Biology of Fatherhood

[IdaBWells]

Fatherhood is a relatively new field of study, but so far studies of biological fathers living with their biological children have shown to lessen aggression in both sons and daughters. Having her biological father in the home also seems to postpone a daughter becoming sexually active and decrease a daughter’s likelihood in engaging in risky sexual behaviour.

Here is an interesting article www.fatherly.com/health-science/science-benefits-of-fatherhood-dads-father-effect/

I think it’s important to look at the biology of fatherhood so we can acknowledge the biological differences in both men and women and how their unique physical presence can have a protective and positive effective on children’s outcomes.

Fucking hell Goosefoot. Your misogyny nearly had my eye out

If you think father's telling someone they are no longer attached to who they should date is misogynistic, I'm having a difficult time seeing where you are coming from.

I'm still not sure why you are focussing on the mother's behaviour.

Because as you know most kids live mainly with their mothers, and so that's their home environment. It's also bad when fathers do the same thing if the kids live with them, though it's less of a direct risk, given that girlfriends and stepmothers are not as likely to physically or sexually abuse them.

Really, I am surprised this would be less than obvious.

Feminism is about liberation of women in my opinion. Offering "wisdom" and "advice" to "moms who are dating" doesn't sound liberating at all to me.
People get their sense of what is normal from the society around them. If that society has norms that have bad outcomes, it's a good idea to considering changing those or at least looking at them closely. Serial monogamy in parents is a bad thing for kids, it puts them at higher risk for all kinds of problems.
Feminism get to over-ride all other elements of life in terms of what's important, you can't justify other injustices on that basis. In any case "Do what makes you free, don't worry about your kids"

This is a thread which is supposed to be about the biology of fatherhood. Every single one of your posts has been about castigating single mothers.

I'm sorry you're unable to grasp that you're blaming women for men's failings.

I think 40% of children suffer disadvantage because of poor attachment. The Tavistock clinic thinks so too. That’s not to say they will not become functioning adults but that they poor attachment impacts on physical and mental health and on achievement. Even obesity is more likely in older children and adults with poor attachment in infancy.
Given 1:4 have mental illness, 40k youngsters are charge with criminal offences and 40% of marriages end in divorce, I suspect 40% is about right. That is not saying all mental illness or divorce is rooted in attachment disorders but lots are. The impact of poor attachment is often overlooked because it reveals things people don’t want to hear.

It’s not about fathers but children who spend more time in institutional care settings from a young age are more likely to exhibit behavioural problems. The study by Prof Alan Stein, of Oxford’s Department of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, found that “spending more time in day care centres, over the total period was a predictor of total problem scores”. Now that’s not a popular view and many do fine but we need to distinguish between what is a choice for the parents and be truthful about what is better for a baby.

Just jumping in. Talking about the Biology of parents. It is very different.

Women put a huge biological input into motherhood. 9 months gestation. They share their bodies with their babies. What they do, what they eat, what they drink, what they hear so do their babies. They are inhibited by pregnancy, their health can be affected by pregnancy and also by the birth process. They can even risk or lose their lives in pregnancy or giving birth. The number of children they can have is limited because of the huge biological investment in this process. Women also have a more limited time when they are capable of becoming pregnant. For women having children poses significant health risks, is a huge biological undertaking and has a biological clock attached. Also and this is important mothers have certainty that they have a biological connection with their children.

Biologically in contrast Fathers have no health risks associated with becoming fathers. In theory they are not limited in the number of children they have but without DNA testing they can never be sure of paternity.

Bringing up children is difficult. It helps to have help. But the help doesn't have to be the biological father.

The study by Prof Alan Stein, of Oxford’s Department of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, found that “spending more time in day care centres, over the total period was a predictor of total problem scores”

If that is the case, isn't it time people started campaigning for shorter working hours? For the wellbeing of children and ultimately for the wellbeing of society.

I am a single mother to two children. My status has nothing to do with society telling me I could do whatever I want don't worry about the kids, thats laughable.

I was with their father for 20 years, I desperately tried to keep my family together as I believed that it was better for my children.

I have no idea why seeing as he was cold, disinterested and angry as a father.

Despite all this trying and lowering of boundaries I am still a single mom, I could not have tried to avoid it more.

My husband did not engage or play with the children before he left and he does not now. The image of him running around covered in happy children is ridiculous. Just because he physically could does not mean he ever would.

I am aware of the stigma around single moms but I feel none of the shame, I don't buy into it at all.

I stayed, I accept the restrictions on my life, they never have any overnights with him and very few visits. I am everything to them and I step up through exhaustion, illness and everything else life throws at me day after day.

I feel no shame I am imperfectly incredible as are my children in our happier, calmer home.

The only thing biology counts for here is child maintenance.

If society really cared about the children there would be no stigma attached to the parent who stayed to love and protect them. There would be better childcare provision and flexible working hours.

The stigma would be saved for the people who create human beings and then walk away from them as though they were nothing more than regrettable, irritating pets, overwhelmingly men.

Coyoacan Absolutely. Shorter working week - we offer a nine day fortnight which is a start. Better stat maternity pay and support for working mothers to have longer maternity leave. An acceptance of the value of good early parenting and improved support for families in challenging circumstances. More sure-start centres, more relationship support, more early intervention and more postnatal support.

A societal move away from the acceptability of feckless parenting too though; let’s stop bringing children up in abject poverty. Let’s discourage thoughtless and selfish single parenting. Of course many single parents do a good job but there’s an awful lot create children without proper consideration about whether they can meet their needs. Couples who decide to dispense with effective contraception within a month or two of meeting each other or not bothering on one night stands are truly irresponsible.

I am financially..ok. I work part time at a reasonable wage and my ex maintenance.
This means my children are not growing up in poverty and I count this blessing every single day.

In the two years I have been a single mom I have seen the way the benefit system works (never been on benefits in my life, never known).

One reoccurring thought is how amazing the many single mothers are who receive no maintenance at all.

I cannot imagine how hard it would be to have all the unremitting responsibility, the stigma of single motherhood, the guilt of it and raise the children whilst struggling for money.

Again, there is something wrong with our society that we treat the responsible and the committed like outcasts.

Biology may matter, I do believe it does to some degree. However why are we not teaching young boys this? If biology matters and father's matter then why do we barely shrug when the biological father walks away and turn our scorn on the 'feckless' women who stayed??

Women cannot win, the biological father's (generally) retain all the choices and the women (generally) face all the consequences.

If biological father's matter so much, society needs to educate the boys and tell the men!

Apparently biology matters, unless the poor child ends up with the ‘wrong’ kind of mother.

In reality all children have the misfortune to be born to humans, all of whom are imperfect, and if you are going to judge humans against the same standards of any other species, humans who procreate young, frequently and with different partners are procreating successfully.

If humans could only survive in perfect ‘goldilocks’ conditions we would have died out eons ago.

Ironically I am more ‘crunchy’ than most - breast fed for more than a year, have home eded - but I don’t think there is one perfect way to parent and I think it is very harmful to tell parents that there is.

Fed, clothed, educated, loved. That is what children need and there are many ways to do it.

Let’s discourage thoughtless and selfish single parenting

Oh dear, CherryPavlova, you agree with me and then you attack me and my ilk.

Like many people I was a single parent, by choice in my case as I had already separated when I found out I was pregnant and have no qualms about abortion, and my dd survived my fecklessness.

I'm so glad I don't live in the UK nowadays, some people are quite mediaeval.

Coyocan Of course there a perfectly good single parents. I assume you thought before you got pregnant and planned for it?

I do struggle with couples who choose pregnancy when on the brink of splitting or who don’t know each other. That’s not medieval, that’s due consideration of a child’s needs. I do that whilst accepting some partners don’t reveal their true colours until a pregnancy occurs - a planned pregnancy whilst in a settled relationship that changes dramatically when pregnancy changed the power balance is a very different thing.
Children shouldn’t be disadvantaged by their parents inconsequential behaviour but neither should we be normalising pregnancy in very new or unstable relationships. That is not wanting to move towards abortion under pressure but greater education that babies are a side effect of sex and a degree of restraint in procreation is good for all.

So how do you think single mothers should be discouraged?

What’s the point of this?
We don’t have control over wether the male biological father stays in the home?
We only can control if we stay or go taking our kids with us or not, no one is going to look at “biological experiment” when making deductions about divorce or living arrangements are they? These decisions are made based on financials or emotions/ kids situation not a quick google to check what some career sociologist ponders whilst trying to get their PhD ... or is it just me?