This is why men get away with so much - their behaviour is always excused and dismissed

[AnotherAdultHumanFemale]

A male teacher was recorded as saying that female pupils at his school were 'gagging for it' when he was drunk at the school prom.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-49177014

A panel investigated and concluded:

"(The teacher's) actions were those of crass stupidity, which represented a considerable misjudgement as to what was an appropriate amount to drink, and language to use, at an end of year prom."
However, it said it was "a one-off incident" and decided a prohibition order was "not appropriate".

=In other words, the panel thinks:

'Yes he was an sexist inappropriate pig who is probably a safeguarding risk but so what, what's the big deal?'

I am sick of seeing the terrible behaviour of men be dismissed, downplayed, excused and covered up. I can only imagine that the panel consisted of other men who act like this teacher did all the time so of course they wouldn't condemn him, because to condemn him would be to condemn themselves. And they just want to be able to continue behaving in sick and disgusting ways towards women and girls.

To return to the idea that he was tipsy - isn't it odd how alcohol excuses a man's behaviour but would condemn a woman's?

Isn’t it just?

The pattern will keep repeating as long as we play down any and all inappropriate behaviour.

isn't it odd how alcohol excuses a man's behaviour but would condemn a woman's?

So true.

I've been to a number of proms where a member of staff has been a little tipsy although usually at year 13 prom. It's always been a little embarrassing for them but they have never been inappropriate (other than being a bit pissed). We are not paid to go to the proms and it is a time to let your hair down.

While I think being fired is probably a reasonable punishment, I really disagree with this. Even if the students are of age, it's just not an appropriate thing for older adults acting as chaperones to be tipsy in that setting. I would say it's fine to have a celebratory drink or whatever but adults should be able to do that without being drunk, especially drunk to the point they say obviously idiotic things. If they can't stay sober then they should not drink at all.

They can go out afterwards with the other teachers if they want to let their hair down.

I've been to a number of proms where a member of staff has been a little tipsy although usually at year 13 prom.

This in itself bothers me. I was raised by a teacher who attended many, many school dances over three decades and more. It was never considered appropriate for staff to be 'tipsy' at such events. Not even back in the days when the entire science department headed for the pub every lunchtime.

At dances (I hate the word prom) they were expected to pick up the pieces if pupils got a little tipsy, not get tipsy themselves, even if they were attending on their own time.

We are not paid to go to the proms and it is a time to let your hair down.

Scout and Guide leaders are not paid AT ALL and they are still expected to behave appropriately and still have a duty of care to the children in the units they lead. "I'm not being paid" doesn't mean "I'm off-duty" with respect to safeguarding.

entire science department headed for the pub every lunchtime.

That should read every FRIDAY lunchtime, they were complete pissheads!

they were complete pissheads!

Gah, WEREN'T, they WEREN'T complete pissheads.

And frankly, it's pathetic when grown adults can't conceive of having fun without getting so drunk that their judgement is as impaired as this man's was.

they were expected to pick up the pieces if pupils got a little tipsy, not get tipsy themselves, even if they were attending on their own time.

Exactly. It's called safeguarding. Safeguarding should be baked into the mindset of every single teacher. If it isn't, they are not fit to teach.

Not even back in the days when the entire science department headed for the pub every lunchtime.

This may not apply to the man in question, but I wonder how much of this reflects a change in what is seen as normal drinking? I grew up with the impression that it was usual for people to have drinks without getting drunk, at least not usually, and if it was usual it likely indicated a problem.

it's difficult to tell how much is family culture because there were still problem drinkers in those days. But my sense is that starting in my generation but more pronounced with those younger there isn't so much sense of a difference between social drinking and having your consciousness affected. Recently where I live legalisation of pot has been a major discussion and I notice it particularly in that context, many younger people seem to argue that you can't make a distinction because both drinking and smoking are about affecting consciousness.

If you think that way, than allowing any drinking at events like this seems to imply getting drunk is expected.

This may not apply to the man in question, but I wonder how much of this reflects a change in what is seen as normal drinking?

I don't know, drinking to get drunk was definitely seen as normal in my youth, just as it is now, at least in my area.

Workplace drinking was much more prevalent than it is now too, so I don't think drinking culture per se can be used as an excuse.

Maybe not then. Though I think pub culture in the UK has been around longer than here.

When I was growing up, though there might be professionals going out to boozy lunches, pubs were dodgy. They didn't have windows so you couldn't see the debauchery inside, and no kids were allowed in. When my dad was first an adult women weren't allowed in either.

Now pub culture has definitely changed from my younger days.

I regularly went to pubs and drank alcohol that I bought at the bar, myself, aged 15/16. The staff, and adult customers, knew perfectly well we were underage but it was tolerated provided you behaved. So to an extent we were being 'educated' in appropriate behaviour.

That is most certainly not something that happens now, with strict ID checks. I do sometimes wonder if that's an entirely good thing.

Goosefoot
I think in the case of this man, he was probably the type to think he was cool and enjoyed the attention of being the 'fun' teacher so in the name of lad culture totally stupidly was trying to prove how cool he was by drinking in front of students.
He sounds like a bit of a prick to be honest. Almost all teachers have worked with a 'Mr cool' colleague. Thankfully most Mr Cools don't behave like this at prom.

wacademia
He's been a total bellend and his actions are inexcusable but whether he was there to be a designated adult to be responsible for students or not will depend on how the school staffs it.

At every y11 prom I've attended staff have been allowed a social drink, they might have a glass of wine. Senior leadership and heads of year are there in an official capacity and the rest of us are there for moral support, students like to see us, and naturally if there was an issue we would support the students.

There's no excusing his conduct by the way. I think we've just got to be careful of taking the view 'not banned so nothing was done and everyone accepts his behaviour'.

Safeguarding should be baked into the mindset of every single teacher. If it isn't, they are not fit to teach.

Here here. I was abused by my teacher along with most of my class, even after we told all we got was a telling off and threats to stop bringing down the good name of a teacher who just ‘cared about us’ and was well intentioned or they’d call the police on us. We were 10 & 11 and he was touching us in the middle of class the lengths they go to excuse totally inappropriate behaviour just blows my mind.