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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Can you be a feminist if you have long hair?

152 replies

Fizzypoo · 30/07/2019 21:12

I would love to be a feminist. I have read some books, I have read the feminist boards on here for a number of years (before GC) and I have learned about the structural inequality women have, and still have more to learn.

But I have long hair, I like looking hot on a night out and realise this is for Male attention. I have a lovely boyfriend, 2 DC and work in a LA job where I have to be careful about what I say online (and even who I follow on twitter as I'm GC). I would love to be a no nonsense sort of person like Greer and have that inner confidence in what she says with no fucks given, but I'm not.

I would like to go to meet ups in the city I live near, but I don't think I would fit in! I feel like a young naive girl as opposed to a strident feminist woman who knows her shit. Can I really belong in feminism?

OP posts:
katseyes7 · 31/07/2019 12:42

ls this a joke?!

Voice0fReason · 31/07/2019 22:51

And there is a good solid feminist reason for cutting your hair short.
Is there?

OP I completely understand your question and I struggled for ages as I explored radical feminism. I'm not going to cut my hair, I don't like having hairy legs, I sometimes wear makeup.
I realised, particularly after meeting so many amazing women at various meetings, that we come in all different shapes and sizes - some very feminine, some very butch - most somewhere in-between. The thing we had in common was our belief that women are worth more than the deal we get from a patriarchal society and that we need to fight to improve the rights and lives of women everywhere. If you want the same then you would be very welcome to join in.

sakura184 · 31/07/2019 23:20

Is there?

Yes.

feminists obviously do present themselves in a variety of different ways and thats fine, nobody is saying it isn't.

But I do think it's strange if people are completely writing off feminist analysis of femininity, which includes long hair.

Why would you do that? You might disagree with the analysis I guess, but you could still understand why some women were doing it. Same with dungarees. Same with hairy legs.

sakura184 · 31/07/2019 23:26

I mean obviously today's feminists don't wear dungarees but they actually did in the past

KatvonHostileExtremist · 31/07/2019 23:27

🤔🤔🤔🤔

Goosefoot · 31/07/2019 23:47

I believe we have been, as women, socially constructed to please men using our femininity. But I also like my femininity.

Is this really socially constructed though? I'm not so sure. Especially if I've been watching the pigeons at the park.

It's one thing to try and reform something cultural, but another to change something that's not.

BizzzzyBee · 01/08/2019 00:04

Long hair, make up, care taking, flirting with men ect can be thought as conforming to typical stereotypes to please men
I once cut my hair short because I fancied a man who said he liked girls with short hair. I don’t think short hair = not pleasing men. I now have long hair. Because I like it, and anyone who doesn’t like it can get lost. The length of my hair doesn’t dictate my feelings about women’s issues. It’s a personal choice.

I also disagree with the idea that making yourself attractive isn’t feminist. If makeup etc is only to please men then how do you explain lesbians wearing makeup? I like makeup. I like looking pretty. When I feel like it anyway - I also like wearing practical clothes and no makeup sometimes. The key point is that it’s my choice and I do it for myself.

barelove · 01/08/2019 00:08

www.researchgate.net/publication/228632689_Ovulatory_Cycle_Effects_on_Tip_Earnings_by_Lap_Dancers_Economic_Evidence_for_Human_Estrus

Here's an interesting article on a study that was done which showed how tips received by lap dancers were affected whatever stage they were at in their menstrual cycle. I think they were concluding that, without them possibly even realising it, the women danced better when they were most fertile. This would imply that at least at some times in our lives, some of us might be using our femininity to to please men due to our biology rather than any social construct.

bettybeans · 01/08/2019 00:09

Hi OP, to echo others who gave sincere responses hell yes you should go. I can totally understand where concerns like this might come from and I'll admit to being a little over-awed by some of it at one point but finding like-minded women was one of the best things I've ever done. Your life experiences, opinions and perspective may not be the same as someone who has read every feminist book going but that's half the fun. You'll bring something unique of your own and you'll find you have much more in common than you think.

If they're the sort to judge you based on how you look or choose to present yourself, find a different group. Good luck :)

BizzzzyBee · 01/08/2019 00:38

The thing is, contempt for femininity is equally sexist imo. Why should being a feminist mean looking or acting more like a man? Why is it so wrong to look and act like a woman if that’s what you enjoy and feel comfortable with?

hipsterfun · 01/08/2019 01:16

Why should being a feminist mean looking or acting more like a man?

Who says it does?

Not being feminine isn’t the same as looking or acting like a man.

I’m not clear what ‘acting like a woman’ is.

WigglyWong · 01/08/2019 01:22

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Aridane · 01/08/2019 01:31

OP - I totally get where you are coming from. Can you be a feminist and activist when on an outer level and, to an extent, an inner level, you conform to, subscribe and enjoy certain patriarchal norms?

I don't know the answer. I would have liked to think females Feminism is a broad church

Brain06626 · 01/08/2019 02:07

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SRYneg · 01/08/2019 02:20

we are not interested brian 006

Auldspinster · 01/08/2019 02:47

Sex without obligation...fancy that!

I have long hair but have had short hair.

For me long hair is much easier to look after, I can just wash and go whereas with short hair I had to blow dry it to look good.

Imnobody4 · 01/08/2019 11:17

There's recently been a commons committee on dress codes at work specifically being required to wear high heels and make up, and I remember some organisations banning trousers for women. Basically you know if you're a feminist if you choose to wear high heels but are prepared to stand up and fight for the women who don't.

Sicario · 01/08/2019 11:29

I have long hair because I couldn't give a shit about going to the hairdressers. It also suits my personality as a broom-wielding witch.

Goosefoot · 01/08/2019 13:51

For me long hair is much easier to look after, I can just wash and go whereas with short hair I had to blow dry it to look good.

Isn't this sense that "looking good" is always about a patriarchal norm part of the issue?
I don't really know where to go with that, as it seems to suggest we should all just hack off our hair with sears and leave it unstyled entirely. A nation of Boris Johnson look alikes.

Goosefoot · 01/08/2019 13:54

Hack them off with shears, not sears!

Voice0fReason · 01/08/2019 21:28

I have long hair because it's easier. I wash it, brush it and that's it.
My son's hair is the same length as mine.

JammyMe · 01/08/2019 21:33

I always thought being a feminist just means pleasing yourself as opposed to others.
I bleach my hair and teeth but I do it for ME. Couldn’t give a shite what anyone else thinks, male or female.

Goosefoot · 01/08/2019 22:16

I always thought being a feminist just means pleasing yourself as opposed to others.

The question with this is always, why do you feel that doing that thing is pleasing? And it's a valid question, our perception of what is attractive or cool generally doesn't spring up from no where. So if we look at a particular thing, and then maybe we realise it has its origins in something that isn't very nice (like porn), or we realise it's actually quite expensive, perhaps we want to consider that it's not a beauty standard it is great to perpetuate, even if we enjoy it.

I think a mistake is made though in thinking that we can ever completely get outside the box, or that we should want to. Whether we see short hair as normative for women, or men, or both, there is a social element there. And there is a tendency to notice what is typical in the sex you are attracted to and consider it masculine or feminine and therefor attractive, and then for people to use those expectations to make themselves attractive. I don't think this is a reality we can escape from without getting rid of our humanity, we are animals who have culture and reproduce sexually, no matter how you slice it.

Auldspinster · 02/08/2019 02:13

When I say looking good I mean not sticking up in all directions like oor wullie.

My hair is naturally curly with a fringe. I can trim the fringe myself with clippers and only get the lengths trimmed a couple of times a year. I slap on some henna every few months. Super low maintenance.

Can you be a feminist if you have long hair?
OccasionalKite · 02/08/2019 02:23

I have long hair.

I am a feminist.

Can't even believe that this is a serious question!