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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Can you be a feminist if you have long hair?

152 replies

Fizzypoo · 30/07/2019 21:12

I would love to be a feminist. I have read some books, I have read the feminist boards on here for a number of years (before GC) and I have learned about the structural inequality women have, and still have more to learn.

But I have long hair, I like looking hot on a night out and realise this is for Male attention. I have a lovely boyfriend, 2 DC and work in a LA job where I have to be careful about what I say online (and even who I follow on twitter as I'm GC). I would love to be a no nonsense sort of person like Greer and have that inner confidence in what she says with no fucks given, but I'm not.

I would like to go to meet ups in the city I live near, but I don't think I would fit in! I feel like a young naive girl as opposed to a strident feminist woman who knows her shit. Can I really belong in feminism?

OP posts:
sakura184 · 31/07/2019 00:15

I mean one of the feminist objections to trans ideology is that it is rooted in feminine stereotypes such as long hair.

It makes sense for feminists to defy feminine stereotypes in protest

BertrandRussell · 31/07/2019 00:15

“there's a small but vocal minority of non feminists who have a very specific idea of what feminists should look like/who they should associate with etc”

Fixed that for you.

NotTerfNorCis · 31/07/2019 00:18

Trans ideology champions femininity.

Julia Serano, one of the founders of trans ideology, wrote in 'Whipping Girl' that feminism should exalt femininity above all - whether it's in people 'assigned female' or 'assigned male' at birth.

Serano didn't define femininity very well, but it seemed to mean being pretty and flirty rather than caring or docile.

Serano didn't explain how exalting femininity would help in the struggle for sexual equality.

sakura184 · 31/07/2019 00:21

Right. So gender critical feminists like Sheila Jeffreys and Julia Long cut their hair short in feminist protest to gender stereotypes and I very much admire them for it , as I admire any women who do it- in general, but especially for this reason

sakura184 · 31/07/2019 00:23

I mean it's really two different things saying: a) you can't be a feminist unless you have short hair, which I've never heard any feminist say and b) saying you understand why feminists might cut their hair

Namechangeforagamechange · 31/07/2019 00:25

Bertrand I think I'll modify it further.

"there's a small but vocal minority of women who call themselves feminists who have a very specific idea of what feminists should look like/who they should associate with etc”

I've witnessed, and been on the receiving end of some of it today. It's very much the extreme end of radfem though. In general, critique of my appearance isn't something I've had from feminists.

sakura184 · 31/07/2019 00:30

Yes women who critique women personally for actually being feminine are on the extreme end of the radfem spectrum, I haven't seen much of that myself.

But I'm not sure what purpose it serves to make out like there's no feminist critique of femininity .

Endofthedays · 31/07/2019 00:35

Serano didn’t make it about being flirty. She considered femininity to be about areas like nurturing and aesthetics. She critiqued the notion that the purpose of femininity should be to serve men.

Femininity is devalued.

sakura184 · 31/07/2019 00:44

Honestly, I'm not really sure who Serano is and I'm not really sure I care what they think.

I do, however, like , understand and care about feminist critique of femininity. I especially liked Beauty and Misogyny by Jeffreys

sakura184 · 31/07/2019 00:46

Serano is a transwoman ffs.

Endofthedays · 31/07/2019 00:49

My point wasn’t addressed to you Sakura.

I know she’s a trans woman. Being a trans woman doesn’t mean you have nothing whatsoever of any value to say.

Gingerkittykat · 31/07/2019 01:14

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2BthatUnnoticed · 31/07/2019 01:57

What on earth is going on around here? Is it divide-and-conquer month, or what?

OP, you can look how you want. HTH.

KingaRoo · 31/07/2019 02:10

I don't understand this. Why would looking "feminine" whatever that means, exclude you from being a feminist?! Does looking more "masculine" make you a better feminist because you choose to defy what society deems feminine should look like? That doesn't make any sense to me. How does that promote equality? Can't everyone just choose to look and dress how they want to without being judged for it? Isn't saying that a "masculine" looking feminist is somehow a stronger feminist completely playing into the false ideology that what you look like defines how you think?
Seriously, can anyone explain this to me?

FossiPajuZeka · 31/07/2019 07:33

Serano's ideas of womanhood being about femininity are certainly of no value.

Floisme · 31/07/2019 07:34

What if you have short hair because you think it suits you better than long - is that feminist?

What if you have short hair but you like baking cakes?

What about knitting or embroidery - are they only feminist if used for seditious artwork?

I ought to know makeup because we did it a couple of months ago but I failed that module.

Welcome to FWR op. We're a mixed bunch with different opinions.

DpWm · 31/07/2019 07:54

All the WPUK videos I have watched it seems to be a fairly makeup free zone. I'd be interested to know others opinions

There probably is a bit less makeup at feminist meetings, because women know it will be a majority women space and feel more comfortable "letting their skin breathe" in a women's space.
But many women do wear makeup there, Posie Parker for example, looking amazing, speaking brilliantly and being great feminists.

Long hair, makeup, short dresses etc does not exclude you from feminism. In fact nothing does, really, apart from being a misogynist or not wanting to be a feminist.

In fact, as PP have pointed out, the stereotypes of feminists (ungroomed masculine looking etc) are largely quite insulting to feminists.

GCAcademic · 31/07/2019 08:01

What on earth is going on around here? Is it divide-and-conquer month, or what?

Seems like it, doesn't it?

CellularBlanket · 31/07/2019 08:16

I avoid the labels. I never use the word "Feminist" because like all labels it is limiting.

Use your brain and make decisions about what you believe and listen to those who seem to be speaking sense. Fight what you know to be unfair and speak up when you know something is wrong. You don't have to call yourself anything.

There are still some women who will attack you for being too something or not something else enough but who cares.

Mitebiteatnite · 31/07/2019 08:16

Thanks end, I grew it myself Grin

Ironically, the shortest my hair has ever been was before I ever really understood feminism. I had a 'pixie cut' because it was one less thing my abusive ex could use against me. He couldn't accuse me of spending hours on my hair to look nice for someone else, or pull on it if I tried to walk away during an argument. I also used to dye it dark because of course, allowing myself to be naturally blonde was attention seeking Hmm

I stopped dying it and grew it as a sort of rebellion when I left him, and have never looked back. Might go full rapunzel, who knows?

Namechangeforagamechange · 31/07/2019 08:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BertrandRussell · 31/07/2019 08:23

“I avoid the labels. I never use the word "Feminist" because like all labels it is limiting.”

Really? Personally I think it is important to name things and acknowledge them. A feminist is a feminist. The name is no more limiting than cat.

Iminthewrongstory · 31/07/2019 08:29

OP - people can be very judgey, but IMO you can wear your hair anyway you like. I saw a young McJudgey on twitter saying that she 'died a little' any time she saw a feminist with dyed hair. (Yes, I know - they dyed and then she died.) Which went over every bit as well as you might think.
Don't sweat (or over-think) the small stuff and good luck.

Deliriumoftheendless · 31/07/2019 08:40

I recently cut my 5 year old’s hair. She always looked great as a toddler with short hair. All her friends at school have very long hair- it’s the fashion now, isn’t it?

Anyway, it looks really good and it’s easy to look after. (She hates her hair being brushed etc) A few mums have complimented her and it made me realise little girls rarely have short hair now (I’m a child of the 70s- many girls had short hair when I was growing up).

I myself have shortish hair as it grows very very slowly. Neither of our hair cuts are politically motivated but at the same time I’m glad my daughter is already happy to be a bit different from the others, I like that she is starting to make her own decisions (it was her who demanded her hair be cut).

JennaOfEluria · 31/07/2019 08:41

I'm a feminist with long hair...my hair length is not a reflection on how I feel about feminist issues.

It is however a reflection on how much maintenance keeping my mop short without me looking like a) Frankenstein's monster b) a mushroom. Long means the weight/gravity does it's job and I can go to work and look professional with little effort. Short hair would be a fucking nightmare!

As for your nervousness about being 'accepted' @Fizzypoo I think that's natural no matter what kind of group you're trying to fit into but remember the essence of feminism is about the fair and equitable treatment of women, not because of how well you conform to any stereotype.