Trans woman being threatening at work

[perpetuallyperplexedbylife]

I've name changed for this as it could be very outing, it's such a bizarre situation.
I work in a library. One of our long term customers, who I would class as vulnerable with clear mental health issues has recently declared themselves to be a trans woman. They are well over six feet tall, and now generally wear a frilly tutu over a mankini à la Borat, a corset top, ripped fishnets and New Rocks, along with a terrible wig. (This is the outing bit as anyone from my area might recognise them).
They have changed their name and sex on our database, and have started borrowing books for the first time. I think they are very vulnerable, and once or twice they have come in with obvious bruises, maybe from being beaten up? They also have a little blue haired handmaiden who hangs around with them (I know this all sounds cliched but I swear it's true!)
A few weeks ago they asked me if I would help them with makeup advice. I said that would not be appropriate. They have since got loads of makeup advice books, and now present with a face full of badly applied, smeared makeup. They have also started talking in a high pitched little girl voice. To be frank, I find them very disturbing.
Last week they seem to have a new tactic - going up to female members of staff (never the men - funny that) and asking for books on sex. They have also asked inappropriate questions about whether staff enjoy sex. If told they are being inappropriate they actually have a tantrum.
Our management say we have to treat them as a woman, but I am beginning to feel like I'm being sexually abused as part of this person's fantasies. I'm tempted to report them to the police as I feel violated.
Any advice?

’swallowed the trans bullshit’

Nice .

Lassoffyvie all of this is true. I agree that it is the behaviour itself that is concerning, but this only manifested itself after they came out as trans, and I'm concerned that management seem to see a trans woman as less threatening than a man, and this colours the way they deal with a male sexual predator.

DH manages a group of libraries. He said straight away that the person should be barred and the police informed. Nothing to do with perceived gender. They have banned males harassing female staff or users and would do the same if a biological woman was. Being trans does not excuse awful and threatening behaviour. If your management won’t help, what about your union? This is not normal for a library. Is it run by the council or outsourced? Call the managers when this person appears and get them to deal with them.

Surely no customer - be them male or female, or regardless of gender identity - should be able to harass staff by asking them about sex?

Unfortunately this has not been my experience.

I'm in library services and we have a male customer, no trans involved just a plain old man, who has worked his way through half a dozen female staff asking inappropriate questions, following them around, sending unsolicited gifts including Valentine's cards.

Still not banned.

How is it irrelevant that they're trans?

If they were a male, presenting as a male, police would have been called and they'd have been banned by the library by now.

It's relevant because it's the sole reason they're being allowed to harass and sexually intimidate female members of staff.

OP, I'd contact your union for advice.

If all of this is true it is completely irrelevant that the person is trans.No library user should be asking these questions of library staff. Mentioning in your complaint that the person is trans is as relevant as saying they are tall or have blue eyes- ie not at all

Exactly

Arnold yes, I think that sort of thing is very common in libraries. We've had numerous stalking incidents, and nothing has been done unless staff involved the police themselves.

@RosesAndRaindrops
Please drop the fake naivety. We all know that if this was a 'cis' man in their ridiculous parlance, he would be kicked out of the library pronto. Predatory males have clocked out that identifying as trans is a get out of jail card and they can engage in all sorts of inappropriate and unlawful behaviour without consequences.

It's not appropriate for any customer to behave that way towards any library staff member.
You should be able to take some action accordingly.

Any library user (male or female) asking any member of staff (male or female) if they like sex is inappropriate and the library user should be sternly informed of this by you and by your manager and warned that inappropriate behaviour is not tolerated and could result in a ban from the premises or a call to the police. This individual's sex and gender identity are not the issue: their behaviour is. This person is behaving in a way that you experience as abusive and inappropriate. Forget the make-up and the clothing and don't mention it. Pretend it isn't an issue. That way if the police are involved they can't say to you that you're feeling the way you are because of the way he looks and blame you for being a terf. You can just shrug and say no, the way he looks isn't the issue: it's the sex-talk, it's the standing too close, it's the look on his face when he speaks inappropriately to you that leave you feeling abused and you want to be protected from that.

How nice to see you, Rose. Having a lovely Sunday, I hope.

perpetuallyperplexedbylife

To be honest I do have some sympathy for senior management.

Our threshold for banning people is, rightly, high. We are a public service, we are often the only place vulnerable people can go to seek help. There no Citizens Advice Bureaux in my area for example. It's a difficult balancing act.

In our case the man in question has tried it on with any lone workers which may be being taken into account. These issues are complex.

Hasn't tried it on with lone workers!

Our management say we have to treat them as a woman

Incredible, OP. You just couldn’t make it up, or maybe you could but, hey, stranger things happen at sea they say. So, suspending disbelief in the interests of, I dunno, hypothesis, ask your management what might happen if another, non-trans, person of either sex were to behave like this? What would management do to address the inappropriate behaviour in that case? Then, when they give you the answer, tell them to do that.

thatdamnwoman while I agree in principle, it's highly likely a 6ft odd person with a penis would be considerably more physically intimidating than a woman asking the same question.

Both would be inappropriate, and should be banned, but only one poses an immediate threat/would instil fear.

Op, the long description of this person changing their appearance really isn't the issue, is it. The real problem is the threatening behaviour. Focus on that. Everything else is window dressing.

At least libraries are closed on Sundays. Enjoy the break today.

Could you start writing down the inappropriate comments and behaviour and send a report to your union asking what to do, without mentioning this persons identity or sex? I'm sure anyone reading it would assume "man" and advise accordingly? If the trans status then came out at a later stage then they'd need to backtrack?

Sorry posted too soon...then they'd need to backtrack and explain why, or carry on with the same advice

I'd be afraid of a woman if she dressed like that, wouldn't confront her. I don't understand all the "why is the OP mentioning trans?". That adds an additional layer of fear, why are posters pretending it doesn't?

Small oddly dressed woman is completely different to large oddly dressed man

Please drop the fake naivety. We all know that if this was a 'cis' man in their ridiculous parlance, he would be kicked out of the library pronto. Predatory males have clocked out that identifying as trans is a get out of jail card and they can engage in all sorts of inappropriate and unlawful behaviour without consequences

My post had nothing to do with "fake naivety" As thatdamnwoman said the complaints should focus on the behaviour.

Have you asked management what they mean by 'treating this person as a woman'? Do you usually treat women and men differently?

Are they saying that a woman asking personal questions about the staff's sex life should be indulged?

Could you start writing down the inappropriate comments and behaviour and send a report to your union asking what to do, without mentioning this persons identity or sex?
This^

OP, I’d say you might be reasonable to mention that ‘library user Vicki Tutu’ or whatever is much taller than you and physically intimidating, if that’s the case, as well as asking inappropriate sexual questions.

Our management say we have to treat them as a woman

That's fine. A woman being sexually inappropriate and intimidating to staff would get banned. So banning this trans woman is treating them in EXACTLY the same way.