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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

‘Fucking Terfs’

44 replies

QueenArseClangers · 11/07/2019 12:20

Hmm I just shared the article from Fair Play For Women about the Lancaster Pride incident where the group of lesbian women were verbally assaulted.

It’s opened up a couple of friends’ eyes and started conversations.
Unfortunately, a chap who I know and is quite ‘woke’ has commented with the sentence ‘Fucking Terfs’.

Upon saying that Terf is a misogynistic term he replied with “if your feminism excludes trans women then you’re being misogynistic’ Hmm

Bloody hell. Having MY feminism mansplained to me.

OP posts:
Mitebiteatnite · 11/07/2019 12:23

Don't you love it when they've had a toke of the woke smoke? I've resisted posting anything on FB at all because I can predict exactly who will take issue with it. And sadly, they're not really people I can unfriend without it causing issues.

NChat · 11/07/2019 12:26

May be a good time for one of the "a man has arrived" type memes.
Would probably wind him up though...

katiegoestoaldi · 11/07/2019 12:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

katiegoestoaldi · 11/07/2019 12:29

Oops wrong thread. Sorry, I shall report it

FermatsTheorem · 11/07/2019 12:32

Queen I think a terse "thanks for mansplaining feminism to me" then block. (Is it still possible to do a soft block on Facebook, where the person doesn't realise that none of the vitriol they're spewing is actually becoming visible to anyone else?)

NotTerfNorCis · 11/07/2019 12:34

if your feminism excludes trans women then you’re being misogynistic

Ask him to 'define woman'.

Bezalelle · 11/07/2019 12:40

“if your feminism excludes trans women then you’re being misogynistic"

Classic DARVO.

NotBadConsidering · 11/07/2019 12:41

if your feminism excludes trans women then you’re being misogynistic

More relevantly, ask him what the gyn part of the word is derived from.

poorbuthappy · 11/07/2019 12:42

I'd respond with fucking men.
Then block.

SonicVersusGynaephobia · 11/07/2019 12:42

Maybe point out that he's not really making this look any less misogynistic, the mansplaining of feminism to women is particularly enlightening.

koshkat · 11/07/2019 12:42

Funny how all of these men are so supportive of feminism now that woman can have penises isn't it? Hmm

Hoppinggreen · 11/07/2019 12:43

I was told by a man (on a forum) that just because I was a feminist it didn’t mean that I was more able to explain feminism than he was
According to him Feminism meant that Mark Field MP should have been able to assault that Greenpeace protestor! With impunity

JessicaWakefieldSV · 11/07/2019 12:53

Back when I was still on social media I had two online Male, wokey vegan blokes with beards, do similar things. I unfriended immediately as I’m not friends with anyone who uses misogynistic terms.

LauraMipsum · 11/07/2019 13:03

What is misogynistic is the belief that performed femininity is innate to women.

Tyrotoxicity · 11/07/2019 13:09

"Toke of the woke smoke" is my new favourite phrase.

How about "If your feminism requires you to prioritise male identities over female bodies and boundaries, you are a sexist and misogynistic arsehole"?

nauticant · 11/07/2019 13:13

Oh look, it's a man telling a woman what to think about other men telling women what to think.

Goosefoot · 11/07/2019 13:14

While it's always very tempting, and sometimes possible to resist, being sarcastic to people like that, I've found I have much better response from just asking pointed questions.

Not usually from the woke individual, most of them are pretty hopeless especially if they are so aggressive. But I think it makes a difference to the others, including those on the fence, to really see where the whole ideology is coming from, and that opposing it is a fair thing to do even if they don't totally agree with what you happen to think.

In this instance I might ask if he really thinks it is bigoted of lesbians to not want to sleep with a person who has a penis but claims to be a lesbian, or if it is just things like dresses, haircut, etc that make a woman a woman (and therefore a lesbian). You could follow up, politely, by asking if he would be prepared to be sexually interested in a transwoman himself.

As far as sarcastic comments about mansplaining, I'd stay away. The worst woke people I know by far are women, and I can think of quite a few times the only people prepared to back me p on a FB discussion about this were men. I think if I'm prepared to have them oppose the opinions of the women I think are being stupid, I need to be prepared for some men to also oppose mine.

nauticant · 11/07/2019 13:19

On balance, Goosefoot has it right. When you're arguing with the close-minded, those for whom nothing will change their minds, you're actually presenting arguments to the lurkers.

Mermoose · 11/07/2019 13:53

Yes Goosefoot is spot on. The mansplaining thing is often used against GC arguments and I for one am very glad when men speak up about this.

You could post a link to this article in which Helen Lewis explains the hatefulness of 'trf: www.newstatesman.com/politics/feminism/2019/05/welcome-age-ironic-bigotry-where-old-hatreds-are-cloaked-woke-new-language

RedToothBrush · 11/07/2019 14:13

Unfortunately, a chap who I know and is quite ‘woke’ has commented with the sentence ‘Fucking Terfs’.

I'd go to town on how they were being abusive to me and ask them to explain why they think it's OK to behave like that towards someone they regard as a friend.

It is not OK to speak to a friend like that even if you disagree with them.

I'd then go on about power and how it's all about women being asked to defer to men and how he was clearly demonstrating that.

It comes back to the 'special status' of transwomen.

'Transwomen are women' but women can not be transwomen so they are not equal and the same.

Oh and I'd have a good rant about toxic masculinity and the erasure of anyone gender non-conforming to force them to fit gender stereotypes and how incredibly sexist the whole thing is.

Before turning to Stonewall's homophobic definition of homosexual and how this is causing the problem as sex has been replaced by gender.

And I'd do it all in one great big long post in the full awareness that this dickwad was certain to spontaneously combust and block me, so I've only got one shot at getting my point across.

The hope would be to pre empt the drivel and show him up for the sexist woke unthinking prick he is.

I'm well past the whole 'be nice' stuff when you've just been aggressively attacked in an abusive manner.

Mitebiteatnite · 11/07/2019 14:40

@Tyrotoxicity 'toke of the woke smoke' came to me the day after I tore a ligament in my hip and was high on codeine. I was trying to have a conversation with DH about TRAs and their supporters, and came out with it, then laughed hysterically at myself until I fell asleep. He reminded me of it yesterday and now I'm going to use it as much as I possibly can Grin

Original poster
QueenArseClangers · 11/07/2019 15:32

Part one...

‘Fucking Terfs’
‘Fucking Terfs’
OP posts:
Original poster
QueenArseClangers · 11/07/2019 15:33

...and two

‘Fucking Terfs’
‘Fucking Terfs’
OP posts:
RedToothBrush · 11/07/2019 15:36

Wow a corrective sex advocate.

Nice.

That's spectacular homophobic support for the cotton ceiling.

RedToothBrush · 11/07/2019 15:38

I take it he'd be perfectly happy to have sex with a transwoman and their lady penis.