I bought a doll for a boy

[sashh]

So a new relative arrived a few months ago and I got to meet him a few weeks ago.

Like many others I had taken a present but the parents didn't have time to open them on the day. I'd bought a rag doll that I thought looked a bit like his dad.

A few days later, via facebook, I received a 20 second clip of new relative and his dad playing with the doll and both giggling.

I also received a really nice thank you message.

I just wanted to share because I have seen so many messages where dad's don't want their sons playing with 'girl's' toys.

Pinkyyy

What the hell is a 'girls' toy then?

A doll? A play kitchen? Play supermarket? Are these things only women.can do once adults?
What are 'boys' toys?

Men grow up to be fathers do you expect them to never have anything to do with babies?
As a cm the dolls were the most popular toys for both boys and girls. Taking them out for walks in buggies, dressing them feeding them etc etc. Boys are just as good at nurturing and caring and have as much imagination as girls why would you prevent them expressing that? And btw girls can like nerf guns, farm toys, computer games, toy cars or ball games just as much as any boy does.

You don't need a penis to operate 'boys' toys any more than a vagina to play with dolls.
What a sad outlook on nurturing all kids imagination.

I got some really wierd looks and some slightly indignant corrections from adults when I described a spiderman toy as a doll at my kids kindergarten (I said something like - oh, is that your doll, cool, Spiderman!)

But, well, it is - it's a small toy human, ie. a doll. But for boys we're supposed to call them action figures (even if they then get tucked into bed or pushed around in a buggy, or hugged to sleep)

I believe girls' toys to be dolls, prams, play kitchens, princesses and so on. If I tried to give my boy a girls toy he would tell me it was for girls.

@TealGreenBalloons to answer your question, no I wouldn't expect my own DH to do those things, although I realise that many do and it works for them.

I refuse to enter into all this gender neutral rubbish. My boys are boys and my girls are girls. They will stay the same for their whole life. They won't suddenly wake up one day and be the opposite, gender neutral, genderless, or any of the other made up crap.

Crikey

Pinkyyy seems to actually hold the views many of the blue fringe brigade attribute to GC feminists

Who knew it was actually a thing?

@BernardBlacksWineIcelolly and what exactly is the blue fringe brigade?

So @Pinkyyy

Men never cook?
Or go shopping?
Or push prams?
Or look after their own children?

Why are these toys girls toys when men do the exact same thing?

You are incredibly sexist if you believe this

@Pinkyyy the only reason your child would tell you a specific toy was for a girl is because you have not allowed him to explore for himself what he likes and doesn't like to play with.

OP, I am delighted the new arrival loves their doll

Pinkyyy doesn't get the difference between sex and gender.

Also does't realise that girls playing with "girls toys" only is leading to a measurable impact on geometry scores at school. pinkyyy doesn't care about girls attainment.

And boys playing only with "boys toys" and all things boys is leading to a nation of boys who lack emotional literacy skills which can potentially lead to all sorts of issues as an adult.

Girls'

I'm so annoyed my grammar is buggered.

Yes that's correct @Soubriquet. My culture is different to yours. You're very silly if you think the whole world does things the same way you do.

@NeurotrashWarrior it would be nicer if you could ask me questions before making announcements about me and what you think you know.

Culture may be different but I have never heard of anywhere, where a man never cooks, shops or cares for his own baby unless he is a misogynistic pig

Why don't you ask questions?

Why don't you ask why this is important?

Your statements are naive and ignorant as well as arrogant.

I can't really be arsed to do your education for you but if you could step out of your sexist bubble for 2 hours and watch both of those documentaries, and come back and discuss, I'd be happy to do so:

No more boys and girls; can our kids go gender free:

I dont think ds1 had a doll

He had soft toys galore which he used to take out in his dolls buggy

And he had a t set and kitchen set obviously

But no doll...no idea why

Having said that...i didnt really do dolls when i was a child so it probably didn’t occur to me

No ds1 didn't have a doll but more because I wasn't massively keen on them (bar the weeing one) and I couldn't find one that wasn't just a baby without all the stereotyping. He had lots of stuffed toys he called his babies and played with them at nursery.

Spotted the peterkin one at a playgroup with ds2.

You know what I get this all the time on here. I give my opinion, which comes from my culture and background (which I happen to LOVE). And all I'm told is how ignorant I am and how I need to get out of my culture immediately. Whatever it's always a losing battle and it always shows who's truly ignorant, when they can't even accept that someone else's culture could be so different to their own, but still thoroughly loved and enjoyed.

I did overhear a mum at school telling her friend that her husband was angry that she had allowed their ds to dress up in a bumblebee costume because it looked like a dress. I thought it was sad that's the attitude that their ds and dd will grow up with. I saw the little boy who looked about 2 years old dressed in the costume later in the week so I'm glad the mum didn't listen. And it didn't even look like a dress, it looked like a bumblebee costume. But I am very sure that little boy would certainly not be allowed to play with dolls in his fathers presence at least.

My experience volunteering in a playgroup for preschoolers was that both sexes played with all the toys. Many little boys enjoyed the kitchen (honestly I had never thought of a toy kitchen as a girls toy before reading a post above), lots of them like pushing a pram around and the most popular toy with both sexes seemed to be the activity stuff - little climbing frame and see saw type things, those cars you sit inside and move with your feet (the name escapes me). I did see mum's take the prams away from their boys and steer them over to the toy vehicle area once or twice. Not every mum did that I am pleased to say. I really don't know why the ones who are bothered by it, are so bothered.

Culture is sneaky.

What exactly is 'culture'?

The culture of early 19th c Britain disallowed women's ability to vote, based on their sex. Some loved that. Others didn't. Oppression based on sex. You could argue that some 'cultures' include inherently racist elements, is that ok?

A gendered brain comes from a gendered environment.

Civilisation has been proven to advance based on the toys children played with. A civilisations' level of 'skill' in maths, the arts, architecture, engineering has been evident in the types of toys children had.

Deny children all toys and you deny all of them their full potential.

For those saying they wouldn't buy a boy a doll then please read some childhood memories from adult trans women. So many of them talk of not being allowed toys such as dolls and having gendered roles forced on them. I don't think you'll make a boy trans by buying them a doll but by not buying one you might.

Absolutely; I remember a peer in my class when I was about 5 sobbing for being picked on for liking to play in the home corner and wishing he was a girl so that he could.

My DS (9) has more dolls than a toyshop. A small independant toyshop perhaps, but all the same, there are hundreds of them. All kinds of dolls. Mostly fashion dolls (Barbie etc) and a few of the our generation type. He loves them. He loves dressing them, and he loves styling their hair.

He closes the door to his playroom when his friends are round though, because he's embarrassed. Because society has told him that dolls are for girls, even in 2019. Directly, through shops and advertising, and indirectly, through other children telling him he shouldn't be playing with dolls, because of their own direct exposure to adult opinions/shops/advertising.

We've never told him that. He's always been allowed to play with whatever he wants to play with. It fuels his imagination and long may it last.

But @Pinkyyy if you want to stick with ‘traditional’ gender roles let’s look at military men. I don’t think you can argue they aren’t ‘real men’ but they clean, do laundry, iron, cook, etc. I’d even argue they nurture - both their team and most military units have community engagement that frequently focuses on families/children.

So how are those ‘girl’ toys not relevant to the adult life of a real ‘manly’ man in a traditional male role?

We bought our son a baby born doll 20 years ago.
They will stay the same for their whole life
So you've already decided how your children will think and act for their whole lives? That just sounds controlling to me. Surely some people break away or adapt the culture to suit thenselves?