Feminism. The Elephant in the Room.

[DJLippy]

I wondered what people think Feminism's Elephant in the Room was. What is the big taboo that we're not supposed to talk about?

Just to point out that I have seen on facebook that this thread is part of promoting a meeting to be held on 27 July by Make More Noise.

Which seems totally dishonest by the OP. Quote:

^ Make More Noise
2 hrs ·

Details of our talk will be released later today so watch this space! It's already generating some interesting discussions. Here's what the women of mumsnet had to say... ^

www.facebook.com/328537087979058/photos/a.429695534529879/449481685884597/?type=3&theater

Why should mumsnetters be exploited into genuinely contributing to a thread to give someone cheap / free publicity.

So much for sisterhood.

I was a bit shocked when my mother said to me "very few women over forty like men”

It is a shocking thing to say and to hear but I think there’s so much truth in it!

Stumble I've just seen it advertised on twitter; everything put on public forums is public and we all know that.

Would have been nice if the OP had told us what the thread was about. I don’t think it would have stopped anyone from wanting to contribute

Make up is an interesting one. You would have to prise my Nars velvet matte lipstick from my cold dead hands

But why is that? Does my choice to use it contribute to the oppression of other women in the way that say, outsourcing childcare (which I also do) could be said to?

Hey, @DJLippy - this looks seriously shit of you. Come back and explain yourself.

@DJLippy
I am just wondering what people think. It's not a shitpost I swear! I have been asking women for their thoughts and every feminist has a different elephant. I didn't want to steer the conversation which is why I kept it so brief!

Turns out you're not just wondering what people think though :( A bit dishonest not to mention what it was in relation to when pp asked.

Disappointed.

NeurotrashWarrior

You are missing the point. Obviously it is public. That's why they are using mumsnet as it has such a vast public audience.

It is however underhand and dishonest to not telling contributors we are exploiting you to promote ourselves.

If people continue to misuse the forum like this, I suspect fewer people will contribute.

It means they dont valuse mumsnet for the opportunity for contributors to directly discuss with others. They just see mumsnet as a convenient tool for their own agenda.

It undermines the trust we need to take part.

Gross.

"I'm just asking" sly.

Agree, this seems a bit shit.

I get what you mean, but your mother was who she was. If she had been a SAHM, she probably would not have been the rosy-cheeked mother hen, happily devoting herself to her family's needs. She would have been bored and frustrated, telling you your entire life what she has sacrificed for you.

I know this, and have always been aware of it! She should probably not have had children at all, honestly; though she often told me that even though she had divorced my father she was glad she'd been married to him because she had me. I know she loved me; she just could not be the mother I needed.
On the other hand, the independence she gave me stood me in good stead and I am not at all resentful (any more)!

Stumble I've just seen it advertised on twitter; everything put on public forums is public and we all know that.

I saw it on a meme on Facebook yesterday and had no idea what it was about because it was just that: the meme, and no explanation.

Such a shame

This is shaping up to be a properly interesting thread

MIA culpa perhaps I should have explained myself more clearly it was not my intention to mislead anyone. I just wanted to canvas opinion because I have been talking about this topic a lot and yes I do intent to post more about this topic in the future and hold an event on just such a topic. With hindsight i can see that i should have made this clearer in my initial post. Truly it was posted with the best of intentions apologies for any offence that has been caused.

Of course MN is a public forum and anyone can do what they like with what we say on here, that is a consequence of posting on here. A consequence of being less than honest as an op is that some people may view any further contributions with cynicism whatever the subject.

Yeah, well.

I hate it when men do the “tell me about feminism” thing too.

To add to the above, it's the realisation that even the men we love and who love us, don't actually do much to support feminism. It seems to be mainly women fighting the TRA thing - but imagine the huge difference it would make if all our men were as active as women in objecting to the encouragement of children to transition and having male bodies in female spaces.
But the truth is, it doesn't affect them as much, so they mostly don't care.

Quite a few men on twitter do care, and do post about it.

Oh dear - I was mentally composing a post until PP exposed this as a harvesting exercise for other platforms and events.

Nobody, but nobody in RL knows I use Mumsnet. What I would have posted may well have been identifiable on FB.

Sorrynotsorry doesn't cut it with me. Lippy I have lost a huge amount of respect for you. I am not a resource to be drawn on for promotional purposes.

Nobody, but nobody in RL knows I use Mumsnet. What I would have posted may well have been identifiable on FB.

Same here. Many of the more detailed things I've said would be immediately identifiable to anyone who knows me IRL.

Once, I got a PM from Dr Nicola Williams warning me that some of my posts might identify me. I do tend to be careless at times!

Dick move, DJ, dick move. I thought better of you than this.

Such an interesting thread. Shame.

My elephant- being a woman has caused me to have physical and health issues men do not have. Looking over my career, there were times I was less efficient due to period issues, pregnancy issues, hormone issues... the average woman spends more time at the GP than the average man, I believe. Some of that would be fixed by better woman focused health care.

Overall, my husband has been able to work many more hours than I.

Lamaha please stay safe online. I'm sad that you feel you may have personally exposed yourself, because I found your honesty really resonated with me.

I could list many of your experiences (I won't in case you feel the need to delete for privacy) and go tick, tick, tick. The only difference is you have felt not good enough due to your race and I have not felt good enough due to poverty. Obviously not directly comparable, still feels completely shit as a child.

I'm happy to hear the news about your son. He sounds like an amazingly well adjusted and thoughtful young man.

I've reported my more personal post for deletion as it could identify me.

It was not my intention to expose anybody to harm by cross posting on other social media platforms. If you wish I can delete the thread.

Nothing that has been posted here is being collected to be used as part of the event. I wanted to genuinely understand what people thought was the elephant in the room of feminism due to the many themes that arose during the course of our research.

I will message Mumsnet and ask them to amend the title to post OP to take all your feedback on board.

Thank you for your understanding in this matter.