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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

I did it again, publicly

29 replies

CuriousaboutSamphire · 23/06/2019 12:49

Our local elections were delayed due to the death of a candidate. So this week we had all parties knocking on the door, dropping leaflets. Some were truly weird, but that's by the by (see what I did there - bye elections, by the by)

One candidate is someoneI know. So I told him I was currently politically homeless, he looked interested and asked why. I started to explain and he rolled his eyes he rolled his fucking eyes at me

As he did I said, in my best ex-teacher's voice "THAT rection is precisely why your wife, daughter and granddaughters will have to share their changing rooms, get naked, with men" He looked a bit shocked, tried to laugh, and left.

I have since spoken to his daughter, ex colleague and very GC friend. She told him he needed to wake up from his comfortable patriarchal slumber and actually look at his party's definition of woman (he is a Tory). He mist have had a bit of a browse as he has fb messaged me to the effect that he now sees what I meant!

I think that counts as having peaked someone!

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AncientLights · 23/06/2019 12:54

Well done!

Galvantula · 23/06/2019 12:55

Well done. Smile I chickened out of face to face telling, Blush but I did fill in a survey I was handed by canvassers.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 23/06/2019 13:01

I am getting braver. It has taken a few years to get over the 'teachers shouldn't loudly voice any slightly of message opinion' thing that gets drummed into you. Now I am self employed too... but have started to realise that my clients don't care about my politics Smile

I will have a ponder and will choose my facebook moment. I think it is long overdue!

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Barracker · 23/06/2019 13:14

Bravo!

RosaWaiting · 23/06/2019 13:17

so how did you say it?

I'm wondering if you said something like "it's the trans issue" and he rolled his eyes having no idea what you meant.

When I explained to a Labour candidate about this, I said "I'm not happy with your party's definition of "woman". " He had no idea what I was talking about but I thought it was a good idea not to say the word "trans" in the first sentence.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 23/06/2019 13:30

Oh! Yes. I had practised that...

I said I had issues with the way the EA2010 was being misinterpreted at organisation levels, that sex was being systematically replaced with gender, and this was now being used to undermine the safety and dignity of women.

He started eye rolling at sex and gender.

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LangCleg · 23/06/2019 13:34

Well done!

CuriousaboutSamphire · 23/06/2019 13:35

I didn't mention trans at all Smile

I learned that from my first attempt.

I would have gone on to talk about men in womens sport, the next Olympics and a number of other things that will be very visible to anyone. But his eye roll stopped me dead in my tracks for a moment.

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RosaWaiting · 23/06/2019 13:43

thanks OP

I think what I will do next time is lead with "I'm worried about girls being forced to change in the same rooms as boys" etc.

stealthsquirrelnutkin · 23/06/2019 13:46

That is good news.

I expect he'll have plenty of cronies who tune out the voices of women, but may actually listen, without eye rolling, when he gives them the same information.

LemonRedwood · 23/06/2019 13:52

I said I had issues with the way the EA2010 was being misinterpreted at organisation levels, that sex was being systematically replaced with gender, and this was now being used to undermine the safety and dignity of women.

I've been struggling with just how to phrase my opening statement and this is perfect. Thank you and well done.

boatyardblues · 23/06/2019 14:05

Mentioning that housing male and female (sex) prisoners together is in breach of UN human rights legislation of the management of prisoners never goes amiss.

P.14 “Women prisoners shall be detained separately from male prisoners.104”

www.ohchr.org/Documents/Publications/training11Add3en.pdf

boatyardblues · 23/06/2019 14:06

Plus Karen White makes your case for you.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 23/06/2019 14:17

Ooh! Thanks, boaty that would be a nice next line. I get a bit scrappy after the first sentence or two. I have a cue card with bullet points Smile

*I have issues with the way the EA2010 is being misinterpreted at organisation levels. The way that sex is being systematically replaced with gender is already being used to undermine the safety and dignity of women. Actions like housing male and female prisoners together is also in breach of UN human rights legislation of the management of prisoners. Worse it allows violent sex offenders like Karen White, born Stephen Wood, to be housed with women prisoners, whre he proceeded to sexually assault them"

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CuriousaboutSamphire · 23/06/2019 14:18

I can see myself posting that on facebook too! Let me just find the slightest of excuses...

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SingingLily · 23/06/2019 14:34

I'd love to try that, Curious, but am unfortunate enough to live in a constituency where Helen Belcher was the Lib Dem candidate last time and has already been adopted as the LD candidate for next time, whenever next time might be. Don't fancy verbally slugging it out on the doorstep with someone who lives and breathes trans rights. I'd end up saying something resembling "literal violence".

CuriousaboutSamphire · 23/06/2019 15:09

Oooh! No. That would put anyone off!

I've got a wannabe PM but out first round my MP.

In this case I was addressing one of our wannabe District Councillors Smile

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S1naidSucks · 23/06/2019 15:19

I’ve started to use the Male name, when talking about a certain predator who assaulted female prisoners, when talking about female prisons. I say nothing about the fact that they are an intact male who identifies as trans, until the person asks, how it is possible that a man can be in a female prison. The reaction is stronger if you use the male name, because there is no blurring of lines, or TWAW. It brings the reality home to them. I intend to use Male names for every violent, misogynistic or sexually abusive male who identifies as trans, because it stops the gaslighting in an instant.

Antibles · 23/06/2019 15:23

Nice work OP!

CuriousaboutSamphire · 23/06/2019 15:25

s1naid I have tried to do that, every where but here becaue MN policing... usually I would say/think "Stephen Wood, widely reported under the name of Karen White"

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Treefloof · 23/06/2019 15:29

S1naidSucks

Brilliant idea, I shall arm myself with all the Male names now. Should get a reaction.

S1naidSucks · 23/06/2019 15:36

CuriousaboutSamphire, funny enough MNHQ permits you to misgender males who identify as trans, if they’ve committed sex crimes. Mind you, so do a lot of the trans community and their supporters. They couldn’t possibly be REAL ‘transwMen’, if they’ve committed a crime. But, on the other hand, they’ll also shout that no man would ever identify as a trans person in order to committed a crime. Funny that.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 23/06/2019 15:48

S1naid I got lost in the updates of what is and is not allowed. MNs very understandable self protecting actions and the same actions when I was a teacher made me very reticent to be up fornt and clear about suich stuff.

It is taking me some time to work my way throught it. I am getting there. But decades of PC self censorship takes some time to get rid of!

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FloralBunting · 23/06/2019 15:56

Sounds excellent, and I agree about the lead in.

As I have been known to bang on about on FWR, the concern for us is Women's rights and protections. The only reason trans rights are even on the radar for that is when they impact on those rights and protections for women and girls. So I would never lead into a discussion with a statement about 'trans issues' because my concerns are about women and girls.

WichBitchHarpyTerfThatsMe · 23/06/2019 16:39

Brava OP! I also think the eye rolling was fucking rude from a would be councillor, regardless of the issue being discussed. Not a person I would trust to be in a public post at all.