Help me peaktrans DH

[maslinpan]

We haven't been able to discuss the many terrifying elements of the trans rights agenda in a constructive way. I am a lifelong feminist, DH is as supportive as they come, has mainly female colleagues who he deeply respects, and he wants DD (14) to do and be whatever she wants.
He had a MTF flatmate years ago who was receiving counselling, waiting for surgery, and was a very private person who just wanted to live their life. I think that is his only model of a trans woman, and he is loyal to that memory - not that they have kept in touch at all, so can't ask them what they think. He is an academic who has some awareness of student politics - rainbow flag waving very proudly at his uni - but I think he feels they have very little influence and relevance to anyone else. I pointed him to FPFW but he found a statistic which he thought was not very reliable, so he is quite dismissive of that source. How can I persuade him that my concerns are real, pressing, and relevant to all girls and women? Twitter threads won't do the trick, I need cold hard facts with lots of evidence. The resource thread It could never happen is great, but what else?

The same numbers quoted there could also headline:

"transwoman commit crimes at a lower rate than woman."

You'll be burned at the stake for this on FWR. 😂

Try this academic publication from Oxford published 2010/11.

www.cambridge.org/core/services/aop-cambridge-core/content/view/6B5F217162ABD9B3189F2EB82787034E/S1758320900012695a.pdf/gender_reassignment_5_years_of_referrals_in_oxfordshire.pdf

..where a number of the 54 people seeking NHS gender reassignment over 5 years in Oxford, were found to be "seeking gender reassignment to facilitate or normalise paedophilia. This latter small group described gender reassignment as a means by which to increase their intimate contact with children, which they viewed to be more socially acceptable in a female role".

So its there... male paedophiles sought to 'become women' in order to abuse children more easily THIS DOES ACTUALLY HAPPEN.

And these were the ones who let on or got found out... what if there were more who were not detected, and who are these men and where are they now? Do they live 'as women'?

This study was from case reviews not from additional assessments so they suggest that other co-morbid conditions will have been under-reported.

If that doesn't do it then nothing will.

He gets his news and views from specific sources and discounts yours. That isn't a feminist position, it isn't rational, and it isn't academic.
He's actually being pretty nasty about it.

I’m with TheInebriati on this. Your DH doesn’t sound like a feminist ally to me, and your relationship doesn’t sound like one of equals. If he knows how important this issue is to you and he’s not even trying to see it from your POV; if he’s discounting everything you say and relying on “proper” authorities, where’s his respect for you? It honestly sounds like he sees you as the little woman, and you’re on some level accepting that role.

Fuck that. What you need to do is stop trying to persuade him and start getting angry with him. He’s a man who’s supposed to care about you and your DD and yet he won’t even try to understand why this matters; he’s not coming to you and acknowledging that on this issue, you are the authority - or should be - in his life.

He doesn’t seem to value your opinions and thoughts at all, even on things that directly affect you and your DD and which he, as a man, doesn’t have the same first hand experience of. Just another woke misogynist.

I think you should be letting him know just how angry and disappointed with him you are. And if you’re not angry and disappointed, why? Why is it more important for you to be reasonable with him even in the face of his deep unreason, and treat him as a person whose opinion is worth something, than it is for you demand he shows you the respect in practice that he claims to have for you in theory?

I may have missed it if it has been suggested already but I find some Magdalen Berns works quite well.
In particular this one:
m.youtube.com/watch?v=JkK7zisjoDk

So, I am supposed to expect my husband to try to see my perspective on every issue, even if he's thought about it and doesn't see it the same way?

Am I supposed to do the same thing for him? 'Cause hell no to that.

@NonnyMouse1337 I’m in Edinburgh and am looking for some GC women to talk to. Feel free to PM if you would like to chat.

Earlywalker

I think your numbers are a bit off.

660k trans people in the UK (based on 1% of the population, although I think this is actually higher now in which case it would be less) only 60 in prison for sexual or significant crimes. This is 0.009%.

Presumably some of those 660,000 transpeople are transmen, so assuming half of them are, that would mean that 60/330,000 transwomen are in prison for sexual crimes, making the figure 0.018%.

The same numbers quoted there could also headline:
transwoman commit crimes at a lower rate than woman

Not sure where you're getting that from.

There are around 14,000 people in prison for sex offences. 98%-99% of these are committed by men, so there are only around 200 women in prison for these sort of offences, out of a population of 28 million (0.0007%). Compare this with transwomen: 60 out of 330,000 (0.018%).

For crimes in general.
125 out of 330,000 transwomen are in prison, or 0.038%.

In 2017 there were about 4400 female prisoners out of an adult female population of about 28 million, so about 0.016% were in prison.

This is out of 125 inmates who had a consultation on their trans status, who were therefore serving a longer prison sentence and excludes what the majority of crimes are for (shoplifting, things like that)
A huge majority of prisoners serve under 4 years.

Are you suggesting that there may be more than 125 transwomen prisoners? If so, that will only increase the percentage of transwomen in prison, making them even more likely to be in prison than women are.

Feel free to check my figures. This is where I got the prison stats from: researchbriefings.files.parliament.uk/documents/SN04334/SN04334.pdf

What percentage of men are in prison oldcrone? Because by your figures, I’m not sure it would back up the ‘transwoman retain a male pattern of criminality’ argument that is so often said on here? And said by FPFW.

Making a huge statement such as ‘half of trans inmates are sex offenders’ is very disingenuous and deliberately misleading, especially when you are basing this on a fact of 60 inmates out of a population of 66million and not much else. It is not a statement that any academic (or critical thinker) would take seriously, given the incredibly limited information.

What percentage of men are in prison oldcrone?
Why are you asking me? I've given you the link to the document with the stats.

‘transwoman retain a male pattern of criminality’
Well, they certainly don't show a female pattern of criminality.

‘half of trans inmates are sex offenders’
60 is about half of 125. What's the problem?

Half of the serious long term offenders, then.

But I think the calculation is simpler than that. There are only a few hundred women in prison for sex offences. If at least 60 of those ‘women’ are male, that’s a very high proportion.

How can I persuade him that my concerns are real, pressing, and relevant to all girls and women?

You shouldn't have to. Does he really think there's nothing wrong with adult men in girls changing rooms?

Does this help? The fact that the intersex community’s seems to be screaming ‘please leave us out of this!’ is definitely a factor.