In plain sight - 'Are Pride Parades Kid-Friendly? Parents Say Children Can Handle The Kink'

[EweSurname]

The post asked parade participants not to “sexualize” Pride and to leave their fetish and kink at home, for the sake of minors.

A reasonable request, one might have thought. But no.

“At some level this has always been part of a much larger debate of what Pride is,” David Rayside, a retired politics and sexual diversity professor at the University of Toronto, told HuffPost Canada. “Pride has always had a kind of outrageous edge to it. And should we alter that? It is not the Santa Claus parade, and it never was. It shouldn’t be. It can’t be.”

[...]Putting on her sex therapist hat, Ren emphasized that Pride, from kink to nakedness, is an excellent opportunity for parents to do unbiased sex education. Bergman also pointed out that many children don’t even interpret most of what they’re seeing in a Pride parade as sexual, but rather as dress-up or fun.

The whole point of kink is that it's sexual, surely? Why are children encouraged to view sexual content? Calling it "dress-up" doesn't alter what it is.

www.huffingtonpost.ca/entry/pride-parade-kid-friendly_ca_5d013916e4b0dc17ef03287b

Has anyone posted the classic onion article on this?

I think it really does raise the question, how does a city decide what is appropriate to be a public event.

I guarantee you 100% that if I was part of a kink group that made an application for a public parade and festival in public spaces, we would be turned down flat.

There are other public events such as the naked bike ride. Are you against these too?

This is 'queer theory' on the streets, all about breaking down boundaries, any boundaries. Pride takes place in public, parading in public shared streets. I don't want areas of my town to become no-go areas because a load of exhibitionists want to parade their kinks in public. Why is there this obsession with taking private things out of bedrooms and waving it in everyone's faces? Queer theory, in public.

Also, I've noticed there is now a tendency for exhibitionists to take their fetishes out in public to non-Pride demos. All the lefty demos now often have an 'LGBT bloc', which basically means a drag queen / fetish bloc where people can parade their kinks in public and claim it is "progressive". Last year at the Stop Trump demo there was a bloke in rubber outfit and a dog gimp mask walking around in the main parade, despite there being loads of kids on the demo. These weirdos don't give a shit about kids, and are making demos unacceptable to bring kids to. Wankers

Mermaids are always talking about having a visible presence at Pride - as if it is an appropriate place for kids.

There are other public events such as the naked bike ride. Are you against these too?

Oh come on. Those at vastly different I don’t know much about it but from pictures I’ve seen, it nothing compared to wearing sex equipment and having dildos everywhere. The naked body is nothing to be ashamed of and is not harmful like exposing children to kink. Nothing against kinks but to go in public about it for something it’s not really related to is crazy. Pride is about acceptance and normality for people that are homosexual, what has that got to do with kinks? Are all homosexuals into bondage? No, so why is it in a parade based on homosexuality?

Nudity isn't always about sexual display. I am not crazy about naked bike ride, but its not about sex, the act. It's not about bringing bystanders into your personal sex experience.

I think there is something to be said for non-sexual public nudity, but that isn't what is going on at Pride.

I guarantee you 100% that if I was part of a kink group that made an application for a public parade and festival in public spaces, we would be turned down flat.
Which is why you'd call it an LGBTQXYZLMNOP kink group and apply for Lottery funding first.

I’m straight so probably really can’t comment on children attending pride. I don’t find nudity an issue. Some one mentioned above a nude bike ride and there used to be (do they still even exist?) nude beaches.

Parents are entitled to make their own decisions, for many numerous reasons, whether their children attend or not. As well as what boundaries they set in regards to what their children are or are not exposed to. Personally some imagery I’ve seen on the internet is concerning, but the internet is well known for leaving out context. I would expect most parents, regardless of sexuality, would be vigilant about their kids.

I will definitely say that I do get amused at the cries for a “straight pride” because it appears to me there are plenty of “straight” people who have a desperate need to feel unique and special that are joining in already.

Mermaids are always talking about having a visible presence at Pride - as if it is an appropriate place for kids.

Mermaids isn’t an appropriate place for kids either.

a desperate need to feel unique and special

That's part of the issue isn't it. This desperate need to be seen as unique and special. Pride is no longer about being brave enough to come out publicly about your sexual orientation; attending a parade, holding the hand of your girl or boyfriend. It is now about outright exhibitionism; flaunting of transgressive sexual practice and costume - and all in a highly public and visible space.

It is now about outright exhibitionism
Agreed. The thinking is that poor old gay men had to hide their sexuality for so long, that it's brave and empowering to simulate sex in public.
I don't buy it.
Being out and proud is hard, even now, and in some countries lethal. An open-air fuck fest isn't brave and empowering, and someone should have said no a long time ago, but was clearly too scared to. Now we have straight perverts taking over the LGBTQXYZLMNOP which basically makes homosexuality just another kink to them. It's insulting.

Look at all these grown adults standing around this pre-pubescent boy at a "Pride" parade, cheering him on as he simulates sex and twerks for their approval. Utterly grotesque. I am so glad this child abuse under the cover of "Pride", "LGBT", "flurry, rainbow unicorns" is being exposed.
twitter.com/Gpalmer_32/status/1137434724140556289

And of course, every year politicians are expected to attend Pride, to demonstrate their right-on credentials, thus legitimising and normalising public fetish displays

The political thing is interesting. Our PM likes to lead Pride parades, its a big part of his image.

I also feel uncomfortable about this

www.buzzfeednews.com/article/nancyvu/dame-sex-toy-company-sue-nyc-mta

I marched in and/or attended pride parades in the US throughout the 80s and 90s when, with the AIDS crisis, the issue of gays & lesbians in the US military, and gay marriage, Pride was a political event. Sure, there were guys bare-assed and in chaps, or in sparkly codpieces, and the Dykes on Bikes roaring through bare-breasted. But it was a political event, always.

Even so, the word that was always everywhere in big bright letters was "love." The power of love, the humanity of love, the need for love, the joy of love. It was as if love was sprinkled like confetti all over the parades, even in the midst of tremendous grief in the 80s.

But now straight men have entered the scene pushing a men's sexual rights movement. That's what kink, poly, and trans boil down to -- the rights of males to express themselves and further their own desires however, whenever, wherever, and with whomever. Certainly there is seldom any symmetry in how those rights are exercised between men and women.

So for me, it's not the display of kink per se that's the problem, it's what that display conveys regarding male demand, insistence, and aggression. The transgressive nature of it isn't transgressive at all, because male power display is as old as the hills; at base, the parading of male sexual demand and paraphilia actually functions to preserve the status quo of a politics based on male dominance over women and on class dominance in general.

The bondage gear is nicely symbolic of that.

So for me, it's not the display of kink per se that's the problem

For me, it is a problem; and certainly in public spaces.

Our local pride was held in the park right next to the biggest children's playground. I took my kids to the playground and had to walk through the pride festival to get there from my car - I was not aware it was happening.
There were quite a few people in bondage gear - which I sort of explained as dressing up to the kids - but I really wasn't happy about it. Kids should not be exposed to bondage kink gear whilst at the playground!
Then I had friends on FB posting that article about why pride should not be tamed "for the sake of the children". I really wanted to say something but couldn't for fear of backlash and being called a bigot.
I wouldn't take my kids to pride for the same reasons I wouldn't let them watch love island, or sex in the city! Not because I'm a bigot but because it's innappropriate. And therefore organisers should take steps to ensure that only people who really want to attend pride actually come across it. Not next to the playground. Or yes it needs to be made appropriate for accidental children encountering it!

I am a proud kink-shamer. I don't give a toss what anyone does in private, as long as genuinely consensual. But, if I am shaming anyone for their kink, it's because they have brought it to my attention against my will, often with the specific aim of enjoying a feeling of transgression at my expense. Don't expect me to be complicit in that.

I don't want to know about anybody's sexual preferences, let alone to see their BDSM kit. I am not shocked or repelled by kink as a whole: I would feel exactly the same about someone who insisted on sharing details of shagging twice a month in the missionary position. Having said that, I agree 100% with Bicker that

it's not the display of kink per se that's the problem, it's what that display conveys regarding male demand, insistence, and aggression. The transgressive nature of it isn't transgressive at all, because male power display is as old as the hills; at base, the parading of male sexual demand and paraphilia actually functions to preserve the status quo of a politics based on male dominance over women and on class dominance in general

Very well put.

Kids need to know that some men love men and some women love women. Thats it.

They don't need to see drag queens in the library or people dressed up in gimp masks at a Pride March to 'be accepting' of this.

I don't know why we're supposed to tell kids "it's dressing up."

I think it's vile. If a child's old enough to know about history and slavery at all, the lesson should be more like: "Some awful grownups think it would be very fun and exciting to have slaves and hurt people, and they exploit other people so they can have 'fun' acting like a slave master and being cruel. It is WRONG and it's even more wrong for them to do this in a place where children can see. If anyone ever tries to show you things like this, you need to tell me right away, because it's not just dressup, it's potentially very scary grownups acting in very scary ways."

Because it's not really about the clothes, is it? It's about people on leashes and forced into sex acts they don't really want. Don't tell me that's not the BDSM scene, kinksters, because I have been there and done that and they don't give you a t-shirt because they want to see the bruises. I was groomed from age 15 by men who said things like "kids are naturally sexual" and "girls love kinky stuff." Men who sent me erotica, who told me everyone was naturally bisexual and had I ever considered experimenting with a girl, and how hot would that be, and did I think I'd ever record it on video and send it to them?

A huge part of why this is being brought into the public sphere is to introduce kids to it who don't understand it and feel a flicker of arousal. Arousal in humans isn't just erotic, it can also be an indicator of fear, so anything children feel a little afraid of that turns out to be safer than expected can turn into a later fetish. Telling people those leather kinksters with people on a leash were just dressing up may have a very opposite effect to the one intended.

I'm so sick of people trying to shield their children from this instead of PROTECTING them and giving them the tools to understand how wrong it is. If you saw a stranger handing out candy from a van, you wouldn't say "oh, no need to worry about that, some people are just very generous with confectionery," would you? No. You'd warn your child that people who use those techniques are almost always very bad people, with ill intent toward children, and that if they are ever approached by such a person, they should run away and tell a trusted adult everything that happened.

Gay pride that's about being with the opposite sex? Fab. Dress up crazy, I don't care! But as soon as it's about "dominance/submission" relationships and fetishes, you're looking at grooming and recruitment. Stop shielding abusers. If these things were shown to children in a private home, it would be sexual abuse. Doing it on the public streets is no better.

Did you see this? From today's Edinburgh Pride. Sounds dodgy AF.

They're going to post more about it later apparently.

Maybe they have an older brother or sister who has just come out and is taking part, and the family wants to show its support. Grans and aunties also attend to support their young family members.

By watching displays of aggressive male sexuality and men with their arses hanging out? How does that support young lesbians?

Pride is a public event in a public space. It is not a night club setting.

So why the fuck are men behaving as though they're in their bedrooms? How is that gay pride, that's exhibitionism and that's why it's not suitable for children.

And this:

Being out and proud is hard, even now, and in some countries lethal. An open-air fuck fest isn't brave and empowering, and someone should have said no a long time ago, but was clearly too scared to. Now we have straight perverts taking over the LGBTQXYZLMNOP which basically makes homosexuality just another kink to them. It's insulting.

Abso-bloody lutely,. Being gay or lesbian or bisexual is not a fetish, like dressing up in rubber suits and displaying your arse in public.

And wild applause for everything @WombOfOnesOwn said.