What is this if not grooming.

[Angryresister]

pride.gift/30e24

This is really worrying on so many levels

This thread is coming over as homophobic, but I am sure that's not the intent.

You’re my son now Dave.

I immediately thought of a paedo Papa Lazarou. "I'm your Daddy now".

This thread is coming over as homophobic, but I am sure that's not the intent.

In what way? It’s dodgy ground to claim discussing clear and universally applicable safeguarding concerns is somehow ‘homophobic’ if it happens to be applied in a particular context.

Free mom hugs, are these also predatory?

Good question. Here’s an interesting if slightly horrifying answer:

4thwavenow.com/2017/05/14/mtof-tells-trans-kids-to-dump-moms-on-mothers-day-and-join-the-glitter-queer-family-of-adult-trans-activists/

This thread is coming over as homophobic, but I am sure that's not the intent.

It's homophobic to treat any bizarre behaviour as acceptable as long as it's being done by someone gay. Like OJ defending work-wanking and claiming it's homophobic to see it as wrong. Safeguarding and standards of behaviour are the same for everyone.

Not what I said at all. Sigh.

Cubs does not mean children. It denotes men.

I can't see anything on the initial link to suggest this is aimed at children at all. That has all been imagined by all of you.

I can't see anything on the initial link to suggest this is aimed at children at all. That has all been imagined by all of you

The word 'parents' is a clue......and even if not a very young child, a 16/17 year old is very vulnerable.

Is this not just inspired by the man that gave out 700 hugs to young gay people that hadn't been supported by their parents? The 'free dad hugs' guy.
Still a shit t shirt either way

This. I don’t think we should read grooming into everything. The making money off of nice gestures is a bit shitty though.

Cubs does not mean children. It denotes men

Yes, younger men........or slim, boyish looking men....or maybe even a 12/13/14/15/15/17 year old who thinks they may be 'trans' and whose parents have difficulty accepting that.

If I see ‘Pink Flloyd’ emblazoned on a t-shirt I am going to make assumptions.

What assumptions are those? Genuinely curious.

@Justhadathought sorry I'm confused. How is the word 'parents' a clue that it refers to children? What do you call your parents when you're an adult? I've always said parents and I'm in my late twenties...

Also @Justhadathought you're confusing a cub and an otter (otters are slim). Cubs are mean, junior bears in fact. Basically larger cuddly men. It is 100% not a reference to children or even trans people

Oh my - I meant to say 'cubs are men' not mean! Apologies.

Imo the t shirt in no way suggests grooming and I'm surprised that there's so much outrage about it tbh. I'm saving my outrage for parents that reject their children because they don't agree with their sexuality.

Agree, Partridge. Big and hairy men.

I mean plenty of heterosexual sex talk revolves around baby, babe, sweet child, gimme some sugar, candy, Daddy, you've been a naughty boy... are we going to take issue with that?

That stuff is overtly referring to children/parents but it's not grooming when it's between two enthusiastically consenting adults.

Which is what cubs and bears is... consenting adults.

@Justhadathought sorry I'm confused. How is the word 'parents' a clue that it refers to children? What do you call your parents when you're an adult? I've always said parents and I'm in my late twenties..

Have to say I do think you are being wilfully disingenuous.

Most of us posting here have children; and many work with children, young people or in mental health. The imagery on the t-shirt says it all - and that is even without the words above.

A large, adult bear, behind a small, child-like one - telling them that if their parents are not accepting of their new identity then he is now their Dad. Please!

I'm saving my outrage for parents that reject their children because they don't agree with their sexuality

Trans is not a sexual orientation.

@Justhadathought since we were talking about cubs (which refers to gay men) I said sexual orientation. But my comment also goes for trans people who are rejected by their parents.

You didn't answer my question. If the word 'parent' is indicative of a child, does that mean that adults do not use this word?

People are too quick to shout grooming in this instance imo and are trying very hard to add sexual connotations onto a damn t shirt like it's a Picasso or something.

The bear isn't 'looming' and isn't 'trapping' the cub ffs. Do you honestly believe that there is a secret agenda behind this that they're hinting at with the imagery?

I know three different people who were rejected by their families for being gay and I can't emphasise enough how damaging this is for a child. Going after the support network for these children is ridiculous and this thread is dangerously close to outright homophobia.

I do hope that this much attention is being paid to every other t shirt you see and not just those marketed to the LGBTQ+ community

I mean if that's grooming, what is this? Grooming?

No? Because you are familiar with Star Wars and get the (lame) joke?

The cubs/bears thing is just a reference that sailed over your head... and no shame in that. Not grooming, though.

Okay, some people want to see issue where there clearly isn’t any. Yes the wording is a bit odd but, this was clearly something quickly made with the intent to make money based off a story going around. Bears and cubs have nothing to do with children fs. I call parents, parents no matter theirs or their offsprings age. Big hairy gay men are bears that when younger would have been cubs. I’m not sure I understand where people are seeing the paedophilic tendencies? There is no mention of children and quite frankly if a young adult wants to accept a hug from someone that accepts their sexuality for what it is when their own parents won’t, I see nothing wrong with that. It also makes me sad that teachers can’t even give a small child a cuddle when they are upset and have hurt themselves, thankfully my daughters teacher did give her a hug when she was upset and my daughter was beaming while telling me. Hugs can be good for mental health, especially when you’ve been rejected by the people that created you.

The trouble is it mixes a message usually aimed at children/young people (“if your parents are rejecting you...”) with an adult attraction (bears/cubs). So on the one hand it seems to be aimed at kids who need a support network whilst, presumably, actually signally your sexual type.

This is incredibly clumsy.

“If your parents are rejecting you, we’re all supporting you.”

“Daddy bear want to hug a cub.”

Both fine. Clearly aimed at different people.

“If your parents don’t understand you, I’ll be your daddy, babe.” -who would that be aimed at? Would you think that was fine?

@Deliriumoftheendless that isn't what the t shirt says?

FWIW when I first saw the t shirt I didn't think 'oh this must be a cub because it's aimed at gay men'. I thought of how many times I'd heard people refer to themselves as a 'mama/papa bear' when meaning they were being particularly maternal/paternal or protective.

Yes, I instantly went to the mama bear kind of thing (which I find really cringe but each to their own) it’s such a common thing to say and the big bear doesn’t look predatory, it looks protective like most parents no matter their species, would be towards their offspring.