Yesterday I was in a poncy coffee shop and popped to the loo. There were two self contained loos down in the basement, one Gent’s and one gender neutral. I had to wait until a chap came out of the GN one. I went in but before I could lock the door, he burst back in saying that he had left his phone.
It was fucking terrifying, he literally flung the door open without knocking or anything. I was in a 10ft square room in an enclosed basement with a ranty stranger. He was about a foot taller than me and clearly pissed off that he had lost his phone and saw my presence as something that stopped him finding it. He almost (but not quite) manhandled me out of his way. I went into a sort of flight mode, I was terrified. I legged it out of the loo and waited at the bottom of the stairs (where I could run if I needed to) until he came out. He came out looking really pissed off and grumbled at me that he had lost it and stomped off.
I went into the loo, very carefully locked it and double checked and triple checked the lock so I could pee (I was desperate so couldn’t wait to go anywhere else, my pelvic floor doesn’t have the staying power). By the time I left he had gone.
So that is it, right there: The problem of men in women’s space. He would tell that story very differently. He lost his phone and couldn’t find it and had to go back to the loo to look for it. Total entitlement that he could walk back into a private space. Absolutely no fucking clue that he scared the living shit out of a woman in a space where she would and should expect to be safe. We need sex segregated bogs, it’s that simple.
And it was Notes in St Martins Lane should you wish to avoid it. The Cafe in the Crypt is nicer anyway.