Mariella Frostrup's latest advice column

[RoyalCorgi]

Her response to a woman writing in saying that her friends' husbands are sexually harassing her is breathtaking in its victim-blaming. Her record on giving advice to women has always been dodgy, but this takes it to a new level.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/jun/02/dear-mariella-frostrup-my-friends-husbands-keep-hitting-on-me

Fuck her. She had an affair with my husband when I had a new baby. And that's the truth, so the fact she feels qualified to give advice to women on any subject makes me laugh.

Yikes!

That is extremely shitty advice.

First she tells her off for putting herself down, then she tells her she’s brining it all on herself. Plus it’s so easy to rebuff men who “take no for an answer.” Which many don’t.

No useful advice there at all.

What a horrible horrible column. Yuck. Sexism. Victim blaming. It sounds immature and catty.

"Nice problem to have".

Mariella Frostrup's advice isn't worth listening to. It's shit.

Huh. I’d forgotten about this column, I can’t believe it’s still going.

I wonder does she write the response first, in order to show off whatever long-winded half-formed thoughts are floating through her head, and then writes a question to match it? I can’t imagine the letters are genuine.

"Are you sure you are not enjoying it really" ?

Fuck off Mariella, don't judge others by your own standards

God, with her and Pamela ‘go along with any old pervy thing a bloke wants, it’s only polite’ Stephenson, the guardian really likes to employ top notch advice columnists!

I know. I read that this morning and couldn't believe it. Not for the first time I thought Mariella Frostrup was weird and shouldn't be allowed out to talk to vulnerable people.

Thankfully, most contributors are condemning her but there are a few who've questioned how this could happen in front of the OP's husband and the sexual assaulter's wife without them noticing or the victim raising any objection.

I'm sure I'm not alone in being able to explain how these cunts get away with it.

There was someone in my social circle about 25 years ago like this. I wasn't 60, but I nearly am now, so couldn't be stuck in Mariella's category of 'grateful for it'

His MO was to go in for an air kiss that became a hug and used it as an excuse for a sexual assault. He would rub his hands all over you and squash his crotch against you. One night I did a limbo dance to get away from him. The next time I was ready and told him quietly that I didn't want to kiss him and glared. No need for any dramatics or a knee in the balls like some of the under-the-line warriors have said. It worked but we were immediately frozen out of the group after that because J was a controller and I didn't want to play.

I think J's sexual assaults weren't about sexual gratification. They were about controlling the group and more about being Alpha Male in a group of men. Women meant nothing to him. The scary thing is that his brother is a gynaecologist and seemed to have the same view.

So it's really simple, you fucking simpleton Frostrup: we were all in a big group of friends and J was controlling the group because he was a controller with really twisted intent. I don't have any psychological training (neither does Frostrup) but surely any one can see that. It's Psych 101.

So it was really difficult to say 'J is a fucking sex assaulter' among our friends. J's wife S knew what he was up to. They all did, including my husband but he was paralysed to act because I didn't. I was keeping the good of the friendship group.

He couldn't voice it with me and he couldn't step in because that would have been accusing me of bad behaviour and also stripping me of agency.

J's wife was key. Everyone knew J was a revolting piece of shit who sexually assaulted women but we all had this unspoken pact with his poor wife, S.

Meanwhile she watched it go on and almost dared us to knock down the walls of their so-called perfect life.

When I did she cut of our friendship.

I was really shocked by the article and I'm really shocked she had an affair with your husband while you were pregnant, @outanabout. I'm sure she'd call herself a feminist but not sure what the hell she can mean by that.

Awful advice. I had a similar problem, except that I was basically single, my husband in a nursing home. I was renting a flat owned be a retired couple; the wife has been a good friend for years, decades even. They were my landlords and lived on the house above my flat.
We often did things together, she'd invite me out with them ect or for a glass of wine together, barbecues in summer and so on. I was not friends with her husband, but got on with him platonucally. He used to drive to a spa once a week so I'd go with him. I just liked the swimming and the hot water outside pool.
Probably he thought that with my sexless life I needed some attention and one day he made a pass at me in the pool. I rebuffed him politely and he never tried again. I never told my friend and I never again went swimming with him. I was mid 60s at the time.
I am now a widow and still very happily sexless and always will be. The "nice problem to have" remark is truly ignorant. She'd probably say I encouraged him by going swimming alone with him.

It was a long time ago. I'm not A Rice by the way, in case anyone thinks I am 😂

Even by Mariela's usual standards, that's appalling advice.

Lucky you, Outanabout!!!

Haha I know. I loved it really.

It’s hard to know what is going on without the full story. I have a couple of acquaintances who appear to make a habit of deliberately flirt with other people’s partners then complain if they make a move on them. Quite different from sexual assault but their story might sound the same as someone who had experienced that.

I'm not A Rice by the way, in case anyone thinks I am

Proof that you have never owned coloured jumpsuits or you are!

Now get into the helicopter and hover.

In listening to things Frostrup has said and read things she has written, I came to the conclusion some time back that her main motivation is to stand up for rich and powerful men.

Mariella has captured the zeitgeist of a mad 1980s advice column. 🤮.

I have no idea what she has captured or what she was thinking of. The guff about shagging Kim Kardashian or Germaine Greer was embarrassing.

She almost had a point where I think she was sort of saying don't put yourself down- what makes someone attractive is a whole range of things.

What she then failed to follow up on was the husband's actions are based on power and control- not genuinely being attracted.

It was weird advice. I've wondered in the past if the letters are made up, like a poster above.

I will sort-of defend her though - in that I think it's pretty natural to learn to take letters you get with a grain of salt, assuming they are actual letters. I've certainly seen ones to various columnists which I thought might very well be a person leaving out important details. Reading that letter, it did seem odd - why would this start happening all of a sudden?

I've wondered in the past if the letters are made up

It was an odd letter. I'm 60. I would never call my female friends my "girlfriends".

Pleased to see this thread as I read that on facebook earlier and it seemed like she was minimising the woman's problem (and she'd already lost one set of friends) by telling her to be grateful she was still alluring. Odd.

My mum is in her 70s and goes out with ''the girls''

I've wondered in the past if the letters are made up

I did work experience on a tabloid and their agony aunt letters were all fictional. Sometimes they contained a grain or two of truth from an actual letter.