What do others do? Long queues for women's loos....

[loveyouradvice]

I realise I am getting really angry about this....

Wherever there is a queue for the Ladies, there is none for the Gents and they breeze in and out in seconds

I have started just using the men's and telling anyone that asks that I'm doing it for Gender Equality (yup, know that should be Sex Equality but am aiming to be understood)....

Each time I do it I need to brace myself but it is getting easier...

What do others do?

Oops... only using Gents when long queue for Ladies so they can see the queue as they walk out and start to think how unfair it is...

Sorry, but I wait.

I get that it isn't fair but tbh if a man started strolling into the ladies toilets, saying he was doing it for gender equality, there would be a lot of frightened women feeling unsafe.

Men are just as entitled as women to have a safe space.

I wait

Interesting ‘spin’ OP

I wait
We go to monster truck/robot wars type events occasionally and it’s the one time the men’s toilet Q is longer than the ladies
I would be very unhappy if a man came in our toilets so why should I use theirs? Double standards

They breeze in and out because they go in, pee, was then leave. Women faff around chatting and re doing make up, trying on clothes etc
The only thing that gets me annoyed about male and female toilets is the lack of child changing facilities especially in male toilets when there is not a separate area available. That is something to get annoyed about

Wash not was...

So men aren't as entitled to a sex segregated space then as women OP?

Cherylshaw I go in, pee, wash my hands and then leave. The chatting and doing make up wouldn't impact the queue for the actual toilets anyway, unless these women are doing all that while locked in a cubicle?

I'll try and find the thread regarding a WPUK talk on toilet provision. A point made in that, which I hadn't considered before, was that often the same amount of floor area is given to male and female toilets, BUT, there are more facilities available for the men to use because urinals take up less space than cubicles.

BTW, I wait, rather than crash the gents.

Thread here

Men are just as entitled as women to have a safe space.

Why? I've never felt physically threatened by women and I don't have any meaningful concerns about being raped or sexually assaulted by women. You can't really translate women's legitimate need for safe spaces to us men.

@TransposersArePosers
In a restaurant or night club when there are 2 or 3 women in a cubicle having a chat and a laugh, that does hold up the cue. Also when there are so many women around the sinks/mirrors, it is a mission to squeeze past to use the cubicle so slows the flow (as it were) of the line outside

I wait.
Only once I used a men's loo, and that was at a service station on a French motorway. The ladies' queue was a mile long and the men's had no queue. A female attendant came along and shooed a whole bunch of the ladies over to the men's. All I can say is: it stank.

Why do they have no queue?
One word: Urinals. Zip down, pee, dip up. Done. Go.

• Why do they have no queue? One word: Urinals. Zip down, pee, dip up. Done. Go.*

Plus, none dealing with periods, and fewer with kids in tow.

There's some stats in here
www.loo.co.uk/46/Toilet-Ratios

Wait, or go and find another women’s loo.

Men deserve privacy and dignity too - plus, I don’t want to accidentally see a stranger’s cock or step in man-piss or get man-piss on my hands from the exit door - studies say men who use urinals often don’t bother to wash their hands (after touching their cocks).

Bleurgh.
Perhaps I was being too optimistic when I said men deserve dignity - Not All Men!

In fact, on the rare occasion I have had to enter a Gents lav (as a staff member) I have knocked on the door and shouted warnings - ‘is there anyone in here? A female staff member is coming in, I’ll give you a minute to get decent - woooo-female-staff-member-coming-in-now!’

Cherylshaw fair comment, I am long past the age of going to clubs and the sorts of restaurants where this would happen, so it didn't occur to me!

I must admit I'm always mystified why most women spend so long in the loo.
If I go in after many women, they're still in their cubicles by the time I've flushed and come out again (and I know because the lady behind me in the queue is still waiting)

They can't ALL be having their periods or taking a lengthy poo.

And it's not just the old ladies with arthritic fingers taking their time either. They're often middle aged or younger.

Maybe I have a speed bladder. Or maybe people are checking their phones and generally just faffing about. In which case, I think people should be more considerate. There are many women with a degree of post childbirth damage (myself included) who just can't hold on.

And no, I still wouldn't bust into the men's loo. Maybe if it was totally empty though and I was utterly desperate.

Women faff around chatting and re doing make up,

Do they? maybe nightclubs and the like need an actual 'powder room' (which is about the only facility I can imagine which might actually be gender rather than sex specific)

... I think there is a little bit of the ManFRiday spirit in me too... if they see me and wonder why they are uncomfortable having a woman in a man's space, I hope it will make them think about why women don't want transwomen in their spaces.

Indeed, where possible I do leave a ManFriday leaflet

But I realise I am getting angry about it regardless, and just want men to realise how ridiculous it is that Mens and Women's loos are designed this way. And to start talking about it... the men that is! Women have been talking about it for ages...

Why? I've never felt physically threatened by women and I don't have any meaningful concerns about being raped or sexually assaulted by women. You can't really translate women's legitimate need for safe spaces to us men.

It isn't only about safety though is it? It is about privacy too and men have the same rights to privacy.

And it's great that you don't mind but some men might and you can't consent on behalf of all men in the same way that I'm not fussed about men in the women's toilets but it isn't up to me.

I wait and do a bit of planning. So trying to go to the loo at quieter moments or checking the location and not drinking much. It irritates me though. The simple solution is to acknowledge more space is needed for womens toilets

I will use the mens if they are single toilets in a room, and I see that a lot here. Increasingly here those are made as unisex and also suitable for disabled persons, and with a change table, so there will be two or three which are identical. I am fine with that, but it tends to be in places where they only need a few toilets.
I would not go into the men's stall area unless it was a serious emergency, and then I would call out first, I've never done this though. I don't care about seeing mens parts, but I think people should be allowed privacy.
I have noticed in the past 10 years I have not often seen lines for women's loos, compared to when I was a kid. I think there has been a change in how they are being designed/allocated so it happens less often - it used to be common at movies but now the theatre has a million stalls in the ladies. I think last time I had to wait in a line was when I was in London at a play, so maybe it is more common in the UK.

I think last time I had to wait in a line was when I was in London at a play, so maybe it is more common in the UK.

It's notoriously bad in older theatres where there simply isn't space for more loos.

Airports seem to always have a queue at the ladies loos in the baggage claim area in every country I've been to. Weird.

The only time I can remember DH having to queue but I didn't was when we went to the RHS flower show at Tatton Park last summer. They had several of those large blocks of 'posh portaloos' - I think the ratio was 3:1 female to male, recognising both the usual timing and also the demographics.

I just wait but I will admit it's my bugbear in life. What on earth do other women do in there? I am in and out in a flash and as quickly as humanly possible as generally public loos of any description are not places I want to spend my free time... but everyone else seems to dick about in there for hours.

I wait. I don't think it's fair to use the gents unless you are happy for them to waltz into the ladies too.