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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

What do others do? Long queues for women's loos....

63 replies

loveyouradvice · 07/05/2019 12:29

I realise I am getting really angry about this....

Wherever there is a queue for the Ladies, there is none for the Gents and they breeze in and out in seconds

I have started just using the men's and telling anyone that asks that I'm doing it for Gender Equality (yup, know that should be Sex Equality but am aiming to be understood)....

Each time I do it I need to brace myself but it is getting easier...

What do others do?

OP posts:
Innernutshell · 07/05/2019 15:16

If i'm desperate and the queue is long I ask one of the men coming out if there was anyone else in there and if there isn't I nip in.

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 07/05/2019 15:17

I will use the mens if they are single toilets in a room

Yep

I really dont get it when there are two room/cubicles one marked men and the other women

ErrolTheDragon · 07/05/2019 15:29

I really dont get it when there are two room/cubicles one marked men and the other women

I assume it's to balance the needs of women who can't manage the 'hover' versus blokes who can't aim straight. (But yes... it's daft, they just need to be kept clean)

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 07/05/2019 15:31

Fair point errol

Weirdest thing is when you get a small queue of ladies outside the one marked women...and no one in the one marked men

cannoninD · 07/05/2019 15:34

I wait.

However I frequently feel sorry for pregnant women/ those with young children as I think the concept of letting them skip ahead doesn’t seem to happen anymore.

At our local (and very popular) shopping outlet there is ALWAYS a queue a mile long and I recently saw a girl (around 3/4) wet herself whilst waiting in it.

cannoninD · 07/05/2019 15:36
  • although I can see why this happens as (especially during school holidays) about 70% of the queue is made up of women with small children 🙄
GollyGoshGreat · 07/05/2019 15:37

OP, just wait. It’s not the men using the loo’s fault that the queue for the ladies is too long.

Complain to the providers of loos. Don’t undermine rights to single sex loos with this approach. I’ve absolutely no desire at all to use the mens’ toilets.

happyhillock · 07/05/2019 15:40

I wait, i often go the local rep there is only 5 women's toilet's, planner's need to allocate more space for women's toilet's

Hiddenaspie1973 · 07/05/2019 15:42

I've used the mens since I was about 24.
It's a hole with a seat. I'll use what's available. Simple as.

SentientPotato · 07/05/2019 15:45

I wait. I don't want to risk going in the men's toilets and, IME, men don't like it.

When I was young I will admit I would nip in (with friends and usually in a busy pub whilst under the influence!) but I wouldn't do it now.

Goosefoot · 07/05/2019 15:46

I really don't get it when there are two room/cubicles one marked men and the other women

In some places it's because the building regulations say there must be separate men's and women's toilets, but they don't say anything about single toilets.

bebanjo · 07/05/2019 15:49

I ask loudly if anyone has checked all the cubicals, as soon as I am close to the front I check all the doors, always find some empty. sometimes only 2-3 are being used.

bettybeans · 07/05/2019 15:50

I wait. I don't want men in my loo and I'm pretty certain they don't want me in theirs either. I know I definitely don't want to be in theirs. The only times I'm ever in a men's loo is when I'm not watching where I'm going and accidentally walk in to the wrong one. The smell jolts you into realisation before sight of the urinals or actual men does. 🤢

If I'm very very desperate and can't wait sometimes I'll jump in to wheelchair accessible loo.

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 07/05/2019 15:52

Oh ok

That's interesting goose

UrsulaPandress · 07/05/2019 15:54

At the theatre recently a chap suggested to me that I use the gents as it was empty and the queue for the ladies was very long and the interval was almost over. I and another lady nipped into the gents, I went into the cubicle first, a bloke came in and the other woman bottled it and left. I shouted from the cubicle that I was coming out, washed my hands, thanked the chap in there and left.

Used to do the same when I was as Univeristy and drinking in the Union bar.

No one minded.

BettyDuMonde · 07/05/2019 16:02

At our local (and very popular) shopping outlet there is ALWAYS a queue a mile long and I recently saw a girl (around 3/4) wet herself whilst waiting in it

Aw :/
I usually let parents of small children go ahead of me, as well as anyone who appears to be in distress.

Although I would hope people who genuinely cannot hold due to injury, illness or age are able to make use of accessible facilities? Obviously those who need the additional space/supports are the priority, but accessible loos are for more than just mobility impaired people...

Shopping centres/swimming pools would probably find increased customer satisfaction by providing mixed sex ‘family’ facilities wherever possible, relocating changing tables and thus freeing up accessible loos. As well as some single user facilities for anyone who doesn’t want to use their birth sex loo for whatever reason. This should be the ideal to aim at for all public spaces/businesses.

Obviously not possible in small businesses, and ‘family’ will be unnecessary for nightclubs, but the social sphere has changed, with more mums out of the house/on the go, more dads in charge of childcare, more understanding of disability needs and minority groups.

I’m totally cool with more options, I’m just not cool with discarding existing options that are still preferred by the majority.

DecomposingComposers · 07/05/2019 18:03

Well the women on here who have no qualms about using the mens toilets can't start complaining when men use the womens can they?

megletthesecond · 07/05/2019 18:07

When I was younger and had a social life I would use the gents if it had cubicles. I wasn't going to put up and wait nicely.

KatvonHostileExtremist · 07/05/2019 18:18

I go in the men's.

Toilets is where I don't really agree with the majority on FWR. I'd be a hypocrite to say otherwise. I mean I'd prefer people stuck to single sex loos but needs must.

Don't shout at me, cos there's no point!

ErrolTheDragon · 07/05/2019 18:45

Well the women on here who have no qualms about using the mens toilets can't start complaining when men use the womens can they?

There's a bit of a difference if your reason for using the men's loos is because you're busting and the ratios of loos aren't in the right proportion to what's needed.
But i think it's a two wrongs don't make a right situation. There need to be single sex loos in the right proportions (and accessible of course, ideally also parent and child and unisex cubicles)

Quietlife333 · 07/05/2019 18:48

Hold it and think of the benefits for my pelvic floor, and the privacy of them men who don’t want women in their private space. (Also I wonder why aren’t women’s toilets built at a ratio of 2:1 with men’s.)

Original poster
loveyouradvice · 07/05/2019 19:13

I totally accept the need for single sex spaces.... the fact that I use the Men's is a protest when queues are long(and I'm busting) not a statement that Men can walk into Women's .... that would just be ridiculous

OP posts:
DecomposingComposers · 07/05/2019 20:10

I totally accept the need for single sex spaces.... the fact that I use the Men's is a protest when queues are long(and I'm busting) not a statement that Men can walk into Women's .... that would just be ridiculous

Aren't you just saying that we need sex segregated spaces - unless it inconveniences you, in which case it's fine to not have segregated spaces?

Surely you can see the damage you are doing to the argument? Basically, women can't need sex segregated spaces that much if they are happy to use the gents whenever it suits them?

Goosefoot · 07/05/2019 20:15

I suppose the question, OP, is do you think if the situation is reversed, is it ok for men to do the same?

MyAuntyBadger · 07/05/2019 20:49

I wait, but have no issues with holding it. Just asked dh if he'd mind, he said he was at a urinal once when a female cleaner came in - he zipped up without going, just couldn't pee with her in there. I think we all deserve a bit of privacy from the opposite sex when going to the toilet.