The Tory Leadership Race... And their wives

[RedToothBrush]

Dear The Times

Why must women be subjected to this?

These articles are a throw back to the time of the dinosaurs.

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/interview-will-dominic-raab-become-britains-next-prime-minister-7hf3bxcgg

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/tory-leadership-contenders-show-off-wives-and-policies-vtc0vrxgz

Both Hunt and Raab are at 'let's show off my stepford wife' complete with kitchen and open cook book in Raab's case.

I thought it was bad enough with Samantha Cameron but now we have competitive showing off of wives as potential leadership accessories.

Why???

This is just horrendous.

I can't imagine voting from any man that thought showing off his wife was a good idea.

for

Oh VOMIT. Totally unsurprising though, especially from those two. I wonder when we will see a similar piece from Boris. Oh wait......

It’s so cringe.

Dominic Raab has form for sexism
Mr LangCleg named him Raab C Brexit last year.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3301572-Dominic-Raab-We-must-end-feminist-bigotry

Absolutely agree. Teresa wasn’t required to drag Philip to photo shoots. But Stepford Wife is a bit rude without knowing the women in question.

I think it's fair to say if you are posting in this section of MN you probably aren't the target demographic of these dinosaurs.

And that in itself is telling.

When are Hunt and Raab doing a MN webchat???

So can we expect these two to take women’s rights and autonomy seriously? Or see them as trophies to win as proof of prowess above other men. Cuz it looks suspiciously like the latter from this.

Langrish, I think the Stepford point is that these women are being required to act in that way, not that they actually are brain dead muppets. Appearances are everything apparently

But Stepford Wife is a bit rude without knowing the women in question.

Obviously it's Dom who is in the kitchen with that cook book on a regular basis. Can we ask what his fav recipe is please?

Point is the photos are posed to make the women look a certain way...

Hope so Lotta. (That people don’t just assume they’re brain dead’s, that is, not that appearances are everything!)

Must be me then because I just see two people next to each other, don’t look particularly posed?
(My husband works full time in an high pressure job and does the vast majority of the cooking so I didn’t even notice the recipe book, tbh).

Name a job where parading your wife is important to your career opportunities other than if you are royal.

Raab proving there that he doesn’t learn re staging backdrops

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6870817/Dominic-Raab-mocked-online-leaving-books-windowsill-interview-appear-read.html

Yes yuck - but what are you doing reading The Times in the first place?

Depressing in this day and age. But not surprising from the likes of Raab or Hunt.

RedSheep many of us on FWR have started reading The Times, The Telegraph and even (gasp!) The Daily Mail due to their continuing excellent coverage of the gender debate. The Guardian has become so revoltingly anti-woman that it is no longer readable imo. Each to their own though, surely it doesn’t matter which papers you read? What is “acceptable”?

Cannot abide Dominic Raab since listening to him talk over Lady Sylvia Hermon.
She is a lady to her fingertips. He, on the other hand......

To quote JessicaTooze on Twitter
"the mansplaining bit where he told Lady Hermon, MP for the North Down constituency in Northern Ireland and a lecturer in Law at Queens University Belfast, that the Good Friday Agreement (which he hasn’t read) is an absolutely, vital constitutional document."

I have really mixed feelings over this sort of thing.

I can see why people feel like it is odd to hear much about the spouse of a political leader. On the other hand, I do think it's the kind of job where you really have to have both partners in the thing as a team. There are a few jobs that are just like that because they demand so much in terms of flexibility, time, travel, of the one who officially has the job, and then some jobs also really require a social element as well that will usually include the spouse.

Politics, but also the military, people in religious ministry, foreign service, some high end business and even academic positions at times. We've become really uncomfortable with this though as we've come to see the family more atomististically, it seems like we don't know how to talk or relate to these kinds of positions without denigrating the one spouse, usually the wife. She's seen as a sort of hanger-on, or a "Stepford wife" or someone being exploited. My experience has been though when these marriages work it's because both members are committed to that career path and are very hard-working in their own sphere.
I find myself very uncomfortable with the implication that the traditional feminine role in these jobs is not important, contributing to the work, and is embarrassing - so much so that we prefer it when we don't see a man in that role or we like it to be hired out to a nanny/maid etc. I think it also can end up, especially in public service positions, that we don't really offer the right kind of support because we tell ourselves that the spouse ought to be bringing in their own income and their household arrangements are private. And why shouldn't the wives of these people have some kind of recognition for their part of the job? I'm largely considered to be a stay at home mum by some people, and the only part of it I don't like is the assumption by a lot of people that I don't work, I have no brain activity, and my contribution to public life is just to be a sort of leech on society.

I read twitter.

Yes, there are some jobs where a ‘couple’ are expected, but often it is expected of a female spouse more so than a male.

My friend joined a community GP practice at a time before mobile telephones. If a GP was out on a home visit during on call hours their spouse was expected to be there and take the calls. Her husband refused, the first to do so (she was the first with a husband not a wife). Another arrangement was made.

Another friend is married to a vicar. My MIL happens to live in their parish, and tells me the congregation feel upset and let down that she doesn’t attend all the Ladies groups, doesn’t help with the cakes and teas, church events and so on. They want a couple not just a singleton but its his vocation not hers. She has a job and deserves a weekend, as do all the other spouses.

It’s not unavoidable or inevitable. Nick Clegg’s wife Miriam Durantez Gonzalez (sp?) always absolutely flatly refused to play along with any of it on the grounds that she was too busy doing her own job to be an unpaid supplement to his. I don’t think it did him any harm at all and she was right to take that stance.

Yes, there are some jobs where a ‘couple’ are expected, but often it is expected of a female spouse more so than a male.

Yes, this is true, and I think it would be a very good thing for us to clarify and sort out our thoughts and expectations around this kind of thing. But I don't think this is just about not expecting men to do work that isn't worthwhile while we expect women to do it. It's also abut not having the same kind of respect for the roles that have typically been given to women. So yeah, maybe we tend to expect a woman to fulfil a certain role and not a man in the same position, but it's because we don't recognise the work. That's the real problem.

Some of it is social custom as well, when there is a change sometimes it's difficult for people to see how to fit thing in. The role of ministers wives is a good one, often they have done things like run a Sunday school or women's group, and it's just expected the next one will take it on. A husband doesn't always fit so well into that role. So it becomes a matter of just feeling out a new way of doing things, but it tends to take some time.