Work policy coming in. AIBU?

[MyCatHogsTheBed]

Some people in my workplace have started changing their signatures to include preferred pronouns.

A bit of digging shows they've recently attend workplace inclusivity training. The company makes a big deal out of standardising email signatures so I think it's only a matter of time until we are all told to add it to ours.

Two things:

1. I REALLY don't want to have to add my preferred pronouns to my email signature. I can't articulate why though, apart from its just political correctness gone mad - am I just being unreasonable?

2. recent workplace emails, feedback questionnaires, online forms etc have asked for gender. There are a whole load of options to scroll through to get to woman. The options include "Cis woman" and, so far, Woman, too. 🙄 I've answered a range of answers to the gender question, usually woman but occasionally non-binary or undisclosed. I don't know what my question here is really, apart from have any of you come across this and what do you do when there isn't a ODFOD or sex option?? They are of course always compulsory questions 🙄

Finally, I can't give too many details as I'm already at risk of outing myself, but we have this inclusivity training meeting soon where by the sound of it we have to tell others our gender and sexuality. I am not out, either at work or to many of my friends and family who come across my workplace colleagues. What the hell do I say?! "I am an adult human sex female and the rest you can go whistle for because it's none of your business???"

I REALLY don't want to have to add my preferred pronouns to my email signature. I can't articulate why though, apart from its just political correctness gone mad - am I just being unreasonable?

I can't see why they would need this on an email. The only pronoun anyone is going to use for you on an email is 'you'. And since we don't have a gendered language (like French, for example), you don't even need to know the sex (or gender) of the person you're writing to. All they need is preferred form of address: Ms/Mrs/Miss/Mr/Dr etc or first name.

we have to tell others our gender and sexuality.

I'm sure they can't force you to talk about your sexuality at work. It's none of their business.

Everyone has to conform or be persecuted. In the name of inclusivity, natch

Just stupidity. I have my title- Mrs (for now) on my emails. It clarifies I'm a she

I would take HR aside and point out how awful these policies will be for those currently questioning their gender identity, and those who are unable to be ‘out’ due to cultural and familial pressures.

Explain how avoiding these topics entirely is the best way to protect the most vulnerable in the work place.

Your workplace cannot make you tell anyone your sexual orientation, and they cannot legally penalise you for refusing to go along with any of this.

If they want to know your sex, they should ask for sex (male or female) and then have any 'gender' questions as a second, separate question.

we have to tell others our gender and sexuality

If you work in healthcare then I think I know the training your colleagues have been on because there have been rumblings of this. I’m on mat leave and have spoken to many of my friends from work who have been sent on inclusivity training and now, to get it signed off they have to include their preferred pronouns in emails - they were made to discuss their sexuality in the training. There has even been talk of including pronouns on ID badges but someone kicked up a fuss about that because we work in a clinical setting, in which we shouldn’t make anything more confusing for patients.

I would wait until it becomes policy.

At the moment it's just a cohort of colleagues who have started doing their thing on emails - demonstrating that they have been to the training and bought it.

I would probably take the piss out of the woke ones, calling women 'he' and men 'she' in wide-eyed innocence.

How would this look in a signature?

they were made to discuss their sexuality in the training.
That's appalling. What relevance does that have for work?

"I do not identify as being someone who has preferred pronouns. As such, if forced to select and declare one, I would feel uncomfortable and feel it would undermine my identity. However, in the spirit of making life straightforward for those I interact with, I am comfortable with them applying whatever pronouns they feel are appropriate."

we have this inclusivity training meeting soon where by the sound of it we have to tell others our gender and sexuality.

This is dreadfully intrusive. I would flatly refuse to discuss my sexuality. It's not a legitimate question in a workplace and I'd tell them so. My refusal would be couched in the terms of my right to privacy.

I've seen "my preferred pronouns are she/her" at the bottom of a signature. I was mildly amused.

someones trying to push this he/she thing at work 🙄. They can bolt! Honestly.

Is there not a news story here about being made to discuss your sexual orientation on an inclusivity course?

It’s as bad as that poor woman recently who had to endure three fuckwits shouting n**r on her Diversity training.

WTAF is wrong with people.

Being made to put your pronouns in a work email is a lawsuit/four page spread in the mail waiting to happen. It’s compelled speech and contravenes all sorts of things.

Do you work for the NHS?

It’s a fucking joke at my place. Any form with a tick box labelled “gender” that has a load of options gets crossed through by me.

I re-label it “sex” and write WOMAN in big block capitals.

I love nauticant answer and it would reflect well how I feel about all this malarkey.
They cannot ask for your sexuality. It has nothing to do with work, nor with inclusion and they cannot ask you to divulge it.
The correct answer there (whether you are straight or gay or bi) is that it’s not appropriate and you won’t answer.

Of course your not going to have to tell people your sexuality I think your reading too much into this.

Nautical , you are a genius!

Widowodiw - I don't really know what to say. You think my colleagues are lying, I'm lying and that other posters on this thread are lying? The course starts with the trainer getting you to one by one tell the group your name, gender and sexuality. Yes it's probably going to be a request to do so not a demand. My colleagues are all probably woke/compliant enough to do as requested. I don't want to. I am part of the LGB+ community but I keep it very low key because as I said, I'm not out either at work or in the community we serve, and it's none of work's business. I will stick out like a sore thumb immediately in a training that's already going to be hard enough, and I'm concerned that the trainer will zoom in on me for forensic examination to check I am a nice compliant person at the end of the training. From what I've heard I will not agree with the principals and was planning on keeping my head down rather than anything else. I'm left thinking I'll either just lie about my sexuality or take a sick day. It's horrible.

Could you get away with saying "my name is Mary, I'm female and my gender and sexuality are irrelevant to my profession"?

If you say it in a fairly brisk no nonsense kind of way.

Bloody awful situation to be in.

I like that idea too Beachcomber thanks :)

Or even just say "hello, my name is Mary" and then just sit back with a benign pleasant look on your face.

Wokeier than woke trainer might try to push you on the rest and you could woke them right back and say "please stop what you are saying is triggering to me".

MyCat do you know who i# facilitating the training? I’d be dropping them an email or a phonecall and use your sentence about lying or taking the day off. No-one should have to disclose any information they don’t feel comfortable with and the fact that you are getting so anxious about a bloody training course is unacceptable.

I’d probably say ‘my name is Mary and the rest is private’ and then say no more. At a push, I’d say I’d discuss specific concerns with the trainer 1-2-1 and if they wanted to do that I’d let them have it.

HR person here. I think this is completely unacceptable. No to pronouns and no to gender and sexuality. Expecting employees to be humiliated publicly in a group of work colleagues this way by a trainer is really poor. This is confidential information. The training is very manipulative if it is as described.

Demanding pronouns in emails is also an imposition too far.

You can't be expected to share your personal life at work like this, it has absolutely no bearing on your ability to do your job. I would simply give my name and then look at the next person saying I have nothing more to add.

I also object to the idea that anyone has to be forced to listen to other people's sexuality. It sounds like terrible training.

What is the training organisation involved?

I’d write ‘I refuse to state my pronouns but if you get them wrong I will complain.’

Make them afraid to misgender you.