Pink nail varnish for boys

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I've just had a very weird encounter with my DH, our DS is nearly 3 and is into anything and always loves to copy his older sister. His sister wanted her nails painted and he then wanted his done as always. DH never has a problem with this usually, but he said 'no'.

I obviously told him not to be ridiculous but he went onto explain that he doesn't want to encourage that behaviour as someone will want to chop his cock off as he'll be seen as trans. I wanted to tell him that was ludicrous but it did make me think twice. That's not good is it? That I'm encouraging gender stereotyping when I have been discouraging it all my life.

I feel disappointed in myself for even giving it a thought. Obviously I allow my kids to express themselves how they wish and will always love them no matter what but I am sad that it crossed my mind to stop him doing that.

Sounds a bit made up to be honest.

Yeah, I made stuff up just to annoy you.

We should all be free to express ourselves as we please...

Thank you!

And hopefully not get called a flipping dictator for having a view!

Is it acceptable to not like the word "girly" or does that make me "closed mind"?

It's fine to not like the word. But not to have preconceptions of people that are girly or like girly things.

Thanks.

I have 2 boys and 1 girl.

My personal mantra is what what would I think if my opposite sex child did this? If it's wouldn't give a fuck then it's ok for the child. If I wouldn't like it then it's probably not ok.

I understand that there's an awkward age when they are about to start nursery or school and they will hear stuff like only girls like pink or boys don't wear dresses but have that conversation with him when it crops up later. He may decide to ditch the princess dresses then.

There are male make up stars that are starting to emerge. James Charles calls himself male and is definitely a man who wears make up rather than a drag queen or similar. He's been very successful selling makeup to his young female fans. I'm not saying that your son will be wearing makeup until he's an adult but the attitude towards males in makeup is slowly changing.

I had this same thought and posted a thread a few weeks ago.
Awful to consider imposing stereotypes and pushing utter bullshit like "pink is for girls" on your kids, because if they don't know that "pink is for girls" they may get labelled as a boy trapped in the wrong body, rather than a kid who's family haven't taught him utter bullshit (like pink is for girls).
But I'm there with you.
How can we be thinking like this.

Is it acceptable to not like the word "girly" or does that make me "closed mind"?

Why are you asking? Has anyone apart from you has used the word "girly".

We should all be free to express ourselves as we please...

Thank you!

Tad hypocritical given it would be brilliant according to you if women stopped being feminine.

Why are you asking? Has anyone apart from you has used the word "girly"

Sorry I see lovecats did. She is correct about it being wrong to have preconceptions of people that are girly or like girly things - particularly if one's preconceptions extend to thinking wearing nail varnish =aping porn and wearing perfume is only to please men.

I do worry about this a bit..DS is only 4 but hes always been into 'feminine' stuff. His nursery for fucks sake, just last year pulled me aside and asked me if I thought he was trans and said they could provide support. Why? Because he favours the princess dresses when its time to play with clothes

I put nail varnish and that on him when he asks like, why not. But it does worry me a bit that seeing how he is rather feminine for a boy, some 'well meaning' people will start the ball to blockers rolling. Fuck that.

Oh to be clear for screenshotters, I did not mean I worry about him being trans. I meant I worry others will convince him he is so, just because he prefers dolls to cars.

I'd be worried about what could happen if the nursery decide he is and that you're failing to 'affirm' him

I do worry about this a bit..DS is only 4 but hes always been into 'feminine' stuff. His nursery for fucks sake, just last year pulled me aside and asked me if I thought he was trans and said they could provide support. Why?

If this is UK, there has been some training/guidance by TRAs for nursery provision:

2105 Interview with Susie Green for Day Nurseries

(extract)
“I first realised Jackie was different when she was 18 months old,” says her mum Susie Green.

"Although she was my first child, I had lots of nephews and nieces and Jackie just didn’t seem to behave like them.

“She’d go into my wardrobe, put on dresses and she even put my bra on at 18 months.

“The nursery staff were telling me Jackie was different when she went there at two and a half years old.”

Cross-dressing in the dressing up box

At nursery Jackie never played with the boys, always took a female role in the games played and would treat the soft toys like babies or pretend to have tea with them.

“She couldn’t wait to get into the dressing up box. She’d come out as Snow White with a jumper on her head and the arms trailing down to make it look like she had long hair.” (continues)

www.daynurseries.co.uk/news/article.cfm/id/1571947/Transgender-children-How-nurseries-can-support-those-with-gender-identity-issues

TheGoalIsToStayOutOfTheHole Bloody hell, that's my nightmare!! What did you say to them?!

Also I just looked up James Charles and he's been ripped apart on Twitter this week for saying that gay men don't like vaginas (because men have those too, remember) - imagine that!

No, wait, he said that he's not really gay because he's attracted to transmen. Whatever. It's cotton ceiling stuff and he's taken loads of hate over it.

Bloody hell, that's my nightmare!! What did you say to them?!

Its the only time I have been less than polite to the school. I started off ok. saying he just likes a range of things rather than being shoved into one box or the other, and has been allowed to do this since pretty much being born. They kept insisting that I should go to the GP and get a referral I asked referal for what, not liking enough blue things and superheros?! And it went downhill from there. I assure her that if when he gets older, if he says he has an actual discomfort with his sexed body (rather than just stereotypes) I will go from there, but for now, fuck that. I took the oppurtunity to ask if the school had any Mermaid type days planned and they did, not for him but for DDs year and above apparently. I took THAT oppurtunity to tell the other parents exactly what Mermaids and such teach young kidsm, and that they are nowt but pressure groups, and near all parents pulled their kids out of that too, then it got cancelled as there was literally 3 or 4 kids in a whole class still going. Can't remember if it was allsorts or gendered intelligence, was one of the 'if boys loike pink get them on blockers!' types though

I found it odd that they made such a fuss over that, when SURELY its totally usual for kids to play dressup or whatever with a range of stuff, and play with a range of toys and that too. I would have thought it would be unusual if a child, especially at 3 stuck rigidly to sterotypical stuff, that would worry me that they have no freedom at all at home?!

Some people like pretty/shiny things. It shouldn’t be gendered, although it currently is. I don’t want women to have to denounce the shiny, so the only way to ungender it is to let boys embrace it.

As an atheist, the only bit I really like about Xmas is the decorations - twinkly lights, tinsel, baubles etc. I’m a proper magpie for shiny shit all year, but when the days are at their shortest, I really do believe that the fairy lights are good for everyone’s mental health. It’s probably why we invented the tradition - most of our European Xmas stuff is more Yule inspired than anything biblical, and Yule was all about surviving the bleak midwinter.

Anyway, if shiny shit helps to keep us going when seasonal affective sadness sets in, I don’t see any reason not to think it might be similarly useful all year round.

We’re just going to have to find some snappy one-liners to shut down any suggestions that nail paint on boys = anything more meaningful than a perfectly reasonable liking for shiny shit.

Quite apart from the awful sexism of trying to stop small boys from playing with nail varnish or dressing up as princesses, I fear for all the boys who actually ARE gay, but who risk being forced down the trans pathway to sterility and mutilation. Ditto autistic kids of either sex, who often don’t feel they fit in and are vulnerable to TRA brainwashing, and young lesbians who may also be told they’re transmen.