Update: identifying as non-binary for work award

[Somerville1234]

Can't find the old thread... but anyway, there's an award/opportunity at work, only for people who are LGBT+++. I don't remember all the categories but they included genderqueer, genderfluid and genderfree. Also K, which I'm reliably informed stands for kink lifestyle. I don't understand why someone would need a special thing at work for getting off on weeing and whips (?? I don't watch porn, I don't have a clue), but maybe I'm just old fashioned. Anyway, old fashioned or not, I'm gender free because I don't believe in gender. And I wanted the professional opportunity. (Forgive me for the vagueness - being careful because of doxxing.) And you lot were encouraging...

I ended up applying - which didn't involve saying how I met the criteria, just ticking that I did. And then I was perpexedly approached by my woke boss.
(WB "Erm... so you realise that this is for LGBT+++ employees, Somer?"
S "Yes."
WB "Erm...it was my understanding you're a straight woman...?"
S "I'm genderfree and-"
WB: "Really?"
S "Yes, and I think I need to remind you that the staff handbook recommends that no-one should assume anybody elses's gender."
WB: "Oh, terribly sorry about that.")

I then had a lovely meeting with HR where they were very keen to update my pronouns on the system. I told them that being gender free I require the box beside gender to be left empty, but that I can accept female pronouns because that's my biological sex. They were happy with this novel idea and to learn more about the difference between sex and gender. They young HR person didn't know they're not synonyms but he learns something new every day apparently.

And now... I've heard I'm shortlisted for the next round!
It's been announced to the whole company, and I've had a few bemused looks but no direct transphobia, I'm happy to report.
My longsuffering DH (works in same field) has been teased a bit for my gender identity but he's happy to suffer for the sake of my fight for equality.

Thanks for the advice - and the Issendai rec - found some helpful stuff there.

I’m on the move a lot today, and stupidly keep putting my copy of the Times down, forgetting it when I leave, and having to buy another one!

The really nasty transphobes who hate those coming out as #genderfree block me as soon as they hear about me, so I haven’t interacted with them directly. I just hear their denials of my authentic identity through the grapevine.

All genderfree folk want is the right to identify ourselves in line with our authentic selves. Why do others seek to deny us this right?
This sums it up in a nutshell and I hope it’s okay for me to, erm... borrow it?

Will read that one now Errol, thx.

Just read the Times and had to stop reading at the mention of a referral from a father who wanted puberty blockers who the dr now thinks was a paedophile because I feel a bit nauseous. Somerville, thanks for your fresh perspective on this madness, it's helped to lift my hopes a tiny bit.

Hang in there Somerville

Peach Yogurt has come out as genderfree on twitter with a fantastic flag meme

twitter.com/Peachyoghurt_YT/status/1115131471143084032?s=19

Someone is asking for a born genderfree video featuring the well known music 🎶
So joyfull.

I may have to borrow that flag as I'm out and proud as #GenderFree as well.

Everyone has the right to define their own gender. Unless they are one of those boring 'cis; females, who are not allowed to be anything except cis because that would show that those claiming 'non binary' or whatever label are not actually as special as they think they are.

Have said for ages, if I had to pick between one of the many genders..cis is the last I would be and I pretty much fit 'a-gender' perfectly, being that I do not believe in gender fullstop (beyond it being a social construct) so I don't have one. if it went on which stereotypes I follow, then non-binary, as am a mix. But no, declaring msyelf either of these means I am taking the piss and being 'transphobic' as apparently I am 'clearly cis', except, we are meant to take peoples word for it of their gender, so why is my word not taken?

I think i prefer gender-free to 'a-gender' though. And LOL at McKinnon asking what rights genderfree people want that they don't have

I’m not on Twitter (I’d probably be blocked by RM if I were anyway) but I’d be so tempted to tweet “Right back at ya...?” in response to that ‘what rights do the genderfree want that they don’t already have?’ irony klaxon.

I wanted to look a lot more androgynous but my body was 'too feminine'.

God, this is me as well. My internal self-image is basically androgyne, but the other me, the meat suit, the flesh dress I'm stuck in....
You said it so well.

Glad you’re okay Somer, yes of course please feel feel free to use that - I’m deeply honoured!

Stay strong, you’re doing great, we are all standing behind you and supporting you.

twitter.com/FeministFreedo1/status/1115348287991758848?s=19

So we have genderfree acceptance from a new ally.

I have always deeply resented gender. It's infuriating to be constricted and judged and forced into boxes just because of my female sexed body. I doubt there's a woman alive who hasn't felt the same anger. I am at peace with the reality of my sexed body, but I definitely don't enjoy specifically female biological functions such as menstruating, pregnancy and childbirth (quite liked breastfeeding). I don't enjoy being physically weaker than almost all adult males.

I define gender as an external tool of oppression that acts to reinforce and maintain male dominance and female submission while simultaneously presenting this hierarchy as the natural order. I yearn to be free from gender, though I don't believe that anyone is.

I do not in any way have a gender identity, though, so I would certainly be genderfree according to the stupid trans ideology definition of gender as some kind of internal feeling or knowledge. I am not cis.

P.S. I'm not on Twitter, but Somerville you are doing sterling work! Stay brave and stunning and remember, you are the expert on your own gender identity or lack thereof. Don't let them deny your existence

This whole discussion feels so weird, though, like someone has to reinvent feminism for them in language they can understand because their brains are so pickled in pomo and queer theory that they are no longer able to comprehend the basic principles.

That's exactly it. They simply do not grasp it. They don't understand that it you want to call yourself a genderfree woman it's completely up to you, it doesn't matter that their ideology says woman is a "gender". Most people know that woman is an adult human female. When you reject gender, you can absolutely reject their arbitrary rules.

It doesn't matter that "I'm agender and as an agender person I wouldn't say I'm a woman". It's not all about you. No one cares.

So we have genderfree acceptance from a new ally.

Well I never, Trousering!

I used to work in the Civil Service. Pretty high up. I bet if I was feeding my DD now, if I called it "chestfeeding" and identified as gender neutral I'd have no problems. Not like 20 years ago, where even though I used my union rep to help me (was in the FDA) I still had a huge struggle to get my legal rights to pump in private and get the legally required maternity (so just for natal women!) adjustments.

I'm minded of a sentence in one of Janice Turner's old articles which stuck with me:

An unqualified policy of "I am who I say I am" must either apply to everyone, or no one (or words to that effect, that's from memory).

I liked it. Seems very relevant here.

I am literally spluttering with laughter... a must read.

Oh that is priceless. Apparently it's not possible to be gender free because as we live in a society where we ''still get gender imposed on us''. If it's not possible to reject the gender imposed on you - how is it possible to be trans and non-binary? It's like they just can't think through the logical implications of the things they say.

It really can't be stated enough: logic isn't their strong point.

It really can't be stated enough: logic isn't their strong point.

Given their initial premise they can’t afford logic. Or critical thinking.

I think i prefer gender-free to 'a-gender' though. And LOL at McKinnon asking what rights genderfree people want that they don't have grin

Well, as a gender-free biological woman, I demand the right not to share changing rooms, toilets, wards etc with biological men. .

I don't know how to post tweets but I loved this one:

Chris Burgess
‏

@BurgessWave
18h18 hours ago
More
How to tell if your child is #GenderFree

🔹They play with toys
🔹They wear clothes
🔹They play with other kids
🔹They do/don’t particularly like school
🔹They find puberty a difficult time of life

If you think your child is #GenderFree, you can support them.

In order for special non binary etc types to be special they need the rest of us to be boring mundanes and Somerville you are ruining that!

Apparently it's not possible to be gender free because as we live in a society where we ''still get gender imposed on us''

Sure, we still get gender imposed upon us. We'd noticed.

It's called sexism, misogyny. It's why we're feminists.

That statement is like saying that it's impossible to be an atheist in a theocracy.

Given their initial premise they can’t afford logic. Or critical thinking.

Quite.

When is the bbc going to do an article on the gender free ?

When is sad face Victoria Derbyshire going to interview a gender free person where we get to tell our harrowing but ultimately brave and stunning story and the journey story