Update: identifying as non-binary for work award

[Somerville1234]

Can't find the old thread... but anyway, there's an award/opportunity at work, only for people who are LGBT+++. I don't remember all the categories but they included genderqueer, genderfluid and genderfree. Also K, which I'm reliably informed stands for kink lifestyle. I don't understand why someone would need a special thing at work for getting off on weeing and whips (?? I don't watch porn, I don't have a clue), but maybe I'm just old fashioned. Anyway, old fashioned or not, I'm gender free because I don't believe in gender. And I wanted the professional opportunity. (Forgive me for the vagueness - being careful because of doxxing.) And you lot were encouraging...

I ended up applying - which didn't involve saying how I met the criteria, just ticking that I did. And then I was perpexedly approached by my woke boss.
(WB "Erm... so you realise that this is for LGBT+++ employees, Somer?"
S "Yes."
WB "Erm...it was my understanding you're a straight woman...?"
S "I'm genderfree and-"
WB: "Really?"
S "Yes, and I think I need to remind you that the staff handbook recommends that no-one should assume anybody elses's gender."
WB: "Oh, terribly sorry about that.")

I then had a lovely meeting with HR where they were very keen to update my pronouns on the system. I told them that being gender free I require the box beside gender to be left empty, but that I can accept female pronouns because that's my biological sex. They were happy with this novel idea and to learn more about the difference between sex and gender. They young HR person didn't know they're not synonyms but he learns something new every day apparently.

And now... I've heard I'm shortlisted for the next round!
It's been announced to the whole company, and I've had a few bemused looks but no direct transphobia, I'm happy to report.
My longsuffering DH (works in same field) has been teased a bit for my gender identity but he's happy to suffer for the sake of my fight for equality.

My DS is wondering why I'm laughing so much. I've been lost on Twitter, following the outrage. I have decided that after my trans training next week I'm going to email HR and let them know that I've had my eyes opened and I'm now gender free. Like you, it is absolutely how I feel. No one can question it, because it's my feelz.

Oh my. I have been in tears reading this. Small watery ones at the realisation that this approach is possible

This is the reaction of a woman who can't name her category, for fear of exclusion, offence, threat.

💐

@Datun

This is the reaction of a woman who can't name her category, for fear of exclusion, offence, threat.

Totally. I'm a Civil Servant (am on the recent CS thread). I've dipped my toe in the water and approached a colleague who is more articulate than I. Explained the issue in laymans terms. I had hoped she would express and share the incredulity but her response was very much on the fence. She doesn't do Social Media so won't disappear down the self id rabbit holes I don't think sadly I've read the letter by the lawyers and am going to print it out when the opportunity arises (and I feel brave enough!) to raise my voice.

I just desperately want to "get it right" and get a bit confused by the Equality Act etc. I read one thing, then another and get bamboozled.

I know the answers are here, via links. I need time to digest the pertinent ones. Sadly I have a massive life event that is occupying nearly all my "free" time so I'm unable to devote much time to do the necessary. On the other hand, this life event may mean I'll be able to leave the CS. In which case my exit interview will be a blinder

I'm catching up and I'm not on twitter but I googled #genderfree and have been in fits of giggles over the twitter thread for 20 mins.

Absolutely bloody minded genius. I love it. Seriously Somer this is GOLD. One for the classics for sure.

Blue that link was fab. It would be funny if it weren't so rigiculous.

"Identify however fits you and respect other people" alongside "You can't identify as that. You're trolling."

I just went into Stonewall's glossary as I've never seen the list before, then I went down another rabbit hole, has to share this though - check out the last question/answer. It's so random and at the same tine explains a lot!

Looking down the list of questions, do the fatal flaws include that your mum qualifies as this gender better than you do?

I'm loving the earnest pompous mansplaining on your Twitter feed, Somerville - some of them just don't get it, do they? And are discombobulated by a woman knowing more than them about their special subject ...

They seem not to grasp that when you reject the concept of "gender" entirely as genderfree you're not actually bound by their rules about what you can and can't call yourself, and it doesn't matter that they think female = sex and woman = gender. Because most people don't.

Bless them.

I love the irony in this tweet. ‘People are allowed to self define but your self definition can impact others and so should be done with care not to harm marginalized groups.’

Harming women isn’t an issue though.

What I find funny about the wokester critiques of the genderfree on Twitter is how they don't jump straight to DIAF because of the skill with which the genderfree tweeters are employing woke language. So, the wokesters want to scream T*RF, but their conditioning means they are using all the internal pressure they usually apply to enforce compliance on subservient women in the movement.

What's making them cross is that it's not working. That's delicious.

Empress - what makes it even more amazing is that the person who says that describes themselves as “lesbian Dad”

No confusing self identification that has an impact on marginalised groups going on there

They never cease to amaze me! Telling women that they’re not permitted to call themselves women, unless they actually ‘feel’ like women. If they say they are female because of their sex, but are genderfree, then they’re not permitted to be women because that’s appropriation. Basically women aren’t permitted to call themselves women if they don’t ‘feel like a women’ because that title belongs to MEN that feel like women! Holly fuck! They really are freaking out, aren’t they?

EmpressLesbianChair - it's the implicit authoritarianism in that tweet that gets me! People are allowed to self define.... Oh yeah? Who's doing the "allowing" there then? Cos I don't give a flying fuck what some invisible authority says I can or can't do. We have the rule of law. I'll stick to that and otherwise do what I like without reference to the Gender God and his catechism, thankyouverymuch.

Blessed be the fruit loops, Lang.

I thought "lesbian dad" was a parody but I obviously haven't read enough of that thread.

DontDox

Presume you are in London? Probably worth your while signing up for the upcoming panel talk ‘Lesbians on Chairs’ - you might get all your answers (and make some contacts) in a single afternoon!

I love that the wokeness has made organisations give awards for any old 'identity' or kink, or whatever they can think of - but have the temerity to put yourself down for one of those many, many categories and you're wrong for doing it.

Think about it in terms of intersectionality, would us genderfree but still sexed women suffer oppression for both our sex and gender identity (or lack thereof in this case)?

So compared to your standard transwomen, we’d have more protected characteristics to take into account?

That’s an excellent point Ewe. I do feel oppressed for my lack of gender identity. Or gender non comformity, as I’ve always thought of it.

Before it was just my being an arsey woman and refusing to do as I was told. But now I am THE MOST opressed of the opressed and I demand that everyone centres my struggle.

Do you know the stonewall trans umbrella even has a MTFTM and a FTMTF?

Excellent, I used to present as a boy as a child, so that makes me definitely trans.

Love that link blue, melon really has them tied in knots.

Blessed be the fruit loops, Lang.

Empress

Women are doing an awesomely good job in the replies. Thank you, genderfree sisters! I’d be totally overwhelmed if I was alone in countering all the transphobic scepticism about my authentic gender identity.

(Also apologies if I haven’t yet replied to a tweet/DM/PM/email or followed back. It’s all gone a bit nuts just as my kids’ holiday started but I will catch up.)

Is Melon also on here? Stellar job she’s doing