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Original poster

Update: identifying as non-binary for work award

999 replies

Somerville1234 · 03/04/2019 02:02

Can't find the old thread... but anyway, there's an award/opportunity at work, only for people who are LGBT+++. I don't remember all the categories but they included genderqueer, genderfluid and genderfree. Also K, which I'm reliably informed stands for kink lifestyle. I don't understand why someone would need a special thing at work for getting off on weeing and whips (?? I don't watch porn, I don't have a clue), but maybe I'm just old fashioned. Anyway, old fashioned or not, I'm gender free because I don't believe in gender. And I wanted the professional opportunity. (Forgive me for the vagueness - being careful because of doxxing.) And you lot were encouraging...

I ended up applying - which didn't involve saying how I met the criteria, just ticking that I did. And then I was perpexedly approached by my woke boss.
(WB "Erm... so you realise that this is for LGBT+++ employees, Somer?"
S "Yes."
WB "Erm...it was my understanding you're a straight woman...?"
S "I'm genderfree and-"
WB: "Really?"
S "Yes, and I think I need to remind you that the staff handbook recommends that no-one should assume anybody elses's gender."
WB: "Oh, terribly sorry about that.")

I then had a lovely meeting with HR where they were very keen to update my pronouns on the system. I told them that being gender free I require the box beside gender to be left empty, but that I can accept female pronouns because that's my biological sex. They were happy with this novel idea Smile and to learn more about the difference between sex and gender. They young HR person didn't know they're not synonyms but he learns something new every day apparently.

And now... I've heard I'm shortlisted for the next round!
It's been announced to the whole company, and I've had a few bemused looks but no direct transphobia, I'm happy to report. Smile
My longsuffering DH (works in same field) has been teased a bit for my gender identity but he's happy to suffer for the sake of my fight for equality. Smile

OP posts:
Thread gallery
22
ErrolTheDragon · 05/04/2019 11:42

I don't think that description fits
'It’s not an absence of gender, and it’s not not-caring about my gender. Quite the contrary – I care very strongly about my gender, my gender expression, and my gender perception.'

My take is that whereas genderfree/agender is analogous to atheist, that's more like some sort of vague pantheist.

CharlieParley · 05/04/2019 11:43

Absolutely fabulous Somerville I applaud you for providing me with some sorely needed fun.

As I'm self-employed I am thankfully spared all this nonsense. But I have now been explaining why cis is offensive to women and why we reject it as a label to so many TRAs and trans-identifying people that I have lost count.

And they inevitably at some point come back with the argument that my absolute rejection of gender makes me agender and therefore trans.

Which amuses me greatly. Their need to sort all people neatly into boxes is so compelling, they abandon reason and logic to make us fit into their worldview. I actually think that's why non-binary identities are on the rise now, of which there are also, inevitably, a bewildering variety. All so they can keep creating new boxes to put people in.

EweSurname · 05/04/2019 12:18

Hold on.

Are we trans women who have given birth then?

This is amazing news!

LizzieSiddal · 05/04/2019 12:18

I think Stonewall probably mean “Everyone can Self Identify however they like, apart from women”.

EweSurname · 05/04/2019 12:20

As in, it should actually be news. Who fancies having articles written about their experience of being the first trans woman ever to have gestated and then given birth to a baby?

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 05/04/2019 12:21

As trans trans woman then? 👩 👨 these emojis are rather hateful eh?

teawamutu · 05/04/2019 12:22

The Somerville Arms, Badley Fuckitt. I like it 😁

LangCleg · 05/04/2019 12:26

Are we trans women who have given birth then?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

LangCleg · 05/04/2019 12:27

I think Stonewall probably mean “Everyone can Self Identify however they like, apart from women”.

Acceptance without exception (unless you are now, or have ever been, denounced as a TERF).

ErrolTheDragon · 05/04/2019 12:30

The Somerville Arms sounds like a rebranding of the Bluestocking (not heard anything from there recently, did everyone drink themselves under the table?).

I didn't know the literary antecedents for the OPs NN, and had assumed it derived from the college:

'Somerville was founded to include the excluded. It was created for women when universities refused them entry, and for people of diverse beliefs when the establishment religion was widely demanded.'

...works pretty well, I think!

littlbrowndog · 05/04/2019 12:32

Am a terf. All of my family are terfs even the guys. And we are all gender free terfs ⭐️⭐️💥💥

AlunWynsKnee · 05/04/2019 12:33

I did wonder about the Bluestocking rival pub but I don't ever wear stockings. Or tights. I'm wearing M&S grey socks.
Perhaps we could have a darts league between the two.

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 05/04/2019 12:55

Completely off topic, but feel impelled to tell this nest of vipers that I'm 30 years sober today. It's an amazing feeling.

Datun · 05/04/2019 13:00

💐💐💐 prawn 💋

EweSurname · 05/04/2019 13:01

What do we think of a new slogan?

Women are trans women.

AlunWynsKnee · 05/04/2019 13:03

Well done Prawn Flowers
That's certainly something worth marking.

ErrolTheDragon · 05/04/2019 13:16
  • What do we think of a new slogan?

Women are trans women.*

Nah. I see genderfree as being simply free of gender, neither cis nor trans. I'm just an AHF.

ErrolTheDragon · 05/04/2019 13:17

Oh, and well done prawn!

JustAnotherWoman · 05/04/2019 13:36

Prawn that's fabulous Smile

Angeladelight · 05/04/2019 13:39

Didn’t see the other thread but I am gobsmacked there’s an award for K lifestyles. I cba with the kinkshamin debate because I don’t give a fuck what sexual proclivities someone has (as long as there are no laws broken) and I cannot imagine how this is appropriate in the workplace.

Unless I am misunderstanding something?

EweSurname · 05/04/2019 13:41

Wow prawn, that's an incredible achievement Star

Yes, take your point errol. Still, I'm happy to point out that I am actually trans according to genderists should there ever be a need for my lived experience to be heard rather than dismissed as "cishet".

GrumpyGran8 · 05/04/2019 13:44

Completely off topic, but feel impelled to tell this nest of vipers that I'm 30 years sober today. It's an amazing feeling
Congratulations, prawn! I can't get you a Gin so here's a Brew and a Cake instead. Treat yourself!

madcatladyforever · 05/04/2019 13:54

I laughed my socks off.

Kink is a sexual preference it isn't LG BT specific even if LG BT people are into it so why it's even mentioned I can't imagine.

I wonder if there is an award for V (vanilla). I hope so or I'm going to be properly left out.

Datun · 05/04/2019 14:01

I wonder if there is an award for V (vanilla). I hope so or I'm going to be properly left out.

Given the prude shaming seems to outdo the kink shaming, proponents of vanilla sex are indeed a targeted minority.

ErrolTheDragon · 05/04/2019 14:05

The only fetish which is nowadays to be decried rather than celebrated is 'vagina fetishism', as I understand it.