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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Caroline Farrow Support Thread

999 replies

GeordieGenes · 01/04/2019 23:05

Caroline, I am honestly almost in tears looking at your Twitter feed tonight. Sad

Her kids have been doxxed by the good doctor.

She is continuing to receive harassment from TRAs. Someone has just sent a pizza to her house.

We all need to get behind her. They think she's a weaker target because of her Catholic views, I'm sure. Let's get on Twitter and report everyone that is sending her abuse.

OP posts:
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RedToothBrush · 03/04/2019 12:47

From what I've seen of online harassment it's the manifestation of deep unhappiness and insecurity. It's a need to assert authority and status over others to prove they are 'better' in some way.

Targets often seen to be women who are particularly successful and self assured. And not 'feminine' in the sense of stereotypes. Women who take on leadership roles seem to be a magnet for it.

Harassment tends to be done in a group fashion, where there is an egging on of others usually against a single target or picking off people one by one in an attempt to make them quit. Making someone quit is the goal.

I've seen people seeing it as an extension of online war gaming. They see what happens out of game as important as what happens in game. Its regarded as part of the 'psychological warfare'. I've seen people actively quoting Sun Tzu over Facebook games!

Many of the tactics I saw 10, 12 or more years ago are actively being used throughout politics today. Its all over social media. But its roots start in gaming.

It's also why people with a background in gaming, going into politics are a lot more viralent and aggressive and divisive.

And the thing that sends them crazy more than anything else in my experience is just calling it out, staying calm, refusing to engage in similar behaviour and above all else being reasonable.

Its tiresome, tedious and utterly pathetic.

People can see it for what it is. It's hard in the midst of it. It can destroy lives. It's remarkable how people who initially support the bullying eventually change their minds if the line is held.

Just keep talking and being reasonable.

And that's why I try to be calm online even if utterly raging and screaming in real life. Showing that side of yourself is what they want and the reaction they are trying to provoke because it makes them feel powerful.

Don't give them the satisfaction. It only feeds them. It's like zombies smelling blood. They all come out the woodwork, if they get a sniff of it.

RedToothBrush · 03/04/2019 12:50

Good grief, are these people really not aware of how they look to everyone else?!

Nope they really really aren't.

littlbrowndog · 03/04/2019 12:55

It came off that link that datun posted. Greta advice on that link

ToeToToe · 03/04/2019 12:55

They're so incredibly narcissistic, they're convinced they're right.

Some of them definitely spend way too much timing online gaming and watching porn. I think they're slightly seriously detached from reality.

pancaketosser · 03/04/2019 12:57

This thread... wow.

I love MN because even though I'd missed approx. 600 posts I could still read it 'as it happened' (minus the deletions of course). It can be trickier on twitter so it was really illuminating to see the posts from our visitors.

Flowers Caro

NameChangeForTheNewYear · 03/04/2019 12:58

Delurking, to say WTF!? It may well be that gender dysphoria is not a mental illness, but if this performance is anything to go by it's quite clear that personality disorders are 10 a penny in TRA Town. Keep at it, lads, we see you!

for Caro.

I know you said you didn't want to go to the police but, as others have said, what about your MP? Is doesn't matter if they agree with you on trans/women's rights issues. This is about targeted harassement and politicised policing, hence the inertia.

NameChangeForTheNewYear · 03/04/2019 12:59

Grrr, ThanksCakeGindidn't copy and paste, so here you go, Caro.

Puggled · 03/04/2019 13:01

Thanks for the post about the monkey dance. I used to work with someone like that. It took a long time but I did eventually work out what he was up to, got minimal support from management when I complained about him, and now I'm so glad to be out of there.

RedToothBrush · 03/04/2019 13:01

Oo that monkey dance article is spot on.

Set your own agenda. Talk about what you want to. Do not engage or get sucked into their argument. Make your point, move on.

NameChangeForTheNewYear · 03/04/2019 13:04

Don't give them the satisfaction. It only feeds them. It's like zombies smelling blood. They all come out the woodwork, if they get a sniff of it.

Exactly, Red. The narcissist in my extended family used to go batshit crazy when x, y, z threats were met with shrugs, sad faces, and silence.

RedToothBrush · 03/04/2019 13:10

It's all about the idea of 'winning'. Look at the language that's used all the time. It's this idea of a 'battle'. It repeats over and over

Just don't play their game. Play something else by your own rules.

RedToothBrush · 03/04/2019 13:12

And the purpose of what you do is not to win, its to expose the heart of the issue and what's going on. They are irrelevant.

Focus on the issues above people where ever possible. Sometimes this does take in individuals but in those cases be very specific about why there is a conflict of interest or a possible abuse of power.

ToeToToe · 03/04/2019 13:14

And the purpose of what you do is not to win, its to expose the heart of the issue and what's going on. They are irrelevant.

Excellent advice.

SupportingCaroline · 03/04/2019 13:15

Hi Caroline. Just delurking to offer my support as well, and to let you know that it's not just women who this what you are going through is disgusting.

SupportingCaroline · 03/04/2019 13:16

think, not this. I'll try again...

Hi Caroline. Just delurking to offer my support as well, and to let you know that it's not just women who think what you are going through is disgusting.

ToeToToe · 03/04/2019 13:20

Mumsnet has a long history of helping women deal with abusive partners and husbands. The relationships section was targeted by MRA trolls many years ago because of this. MRAs don't like women sharing information about their relationships, or giving women support to escape abusive men.

TRAs are just a new version of MRAs - they don't like women sharing information, talking about women's rights, women's spaces, women's biology, transitioning & medicalisation of children, AGP, or how narcissistic and abusive TRAs are.

It's like a natural progression of male-pattern abuse.

PinaGrigio · 03/04/2019 13:33

Good grief, are these people really not aware of how they look to everyone else?!

Nope they really really aren't.

GirlDownUnder · 03/04/2019 13:37

Oh wow. Someone's sandwich is short of a picnic!
Maybe that's why they are losing it - they're h'angry?

Glad they've gone - thanks Michael.

Caro fresh Brew

Lazyteens · 03/04/2019 13:39

Delurking to add my support to Caro.

LauraMipsum · 03/04/2019 13:58

Flowers for Caro.

We would disagree robustly on some things (although I have never found Caroline's views on anything abusive as suggested by some on twitter) but I would hope any woman would agree that what she is being subjected to here is totally unacceptable.

And Steph, the Rehab of Offenders Act means you don't have to declare your spent convictions to a future employer, not that they magically cease to exist. If you have any legal qualifications they'd curl up and crawl away in embarrassment.

dragongirlx · 03/04/2019 14:00

This thread has been a disturbing read. It is a lesson to what steps abusive people will take to track down and attempt to control/ abuse their chose victim.

Caroline you have my total support in this.

TirisfalPumpkin · 03/04/2019 14:02

Is there a word for this kind of fibbing? Where you say something technically true but clearly intended to mislead

Ie, S saying ‘I have no convictions’, which most would interpret to mean they’ve never been convicted of a crime, not that they have a bunch of rather unpleasant spent convictions.

Lily M was doing it a while back, tweeting York uni with ‘I’m a first year and this makes me feel unsafe!’ - leaving out the highly pertinent detail that they are not a student there

Am sure I’ve seen a certain cyclist at it too.

Does it have a name?

Datun · 03/04/2019 14:03

And the purpose of what you do is not to win, its to expose the heart of the issue and what's going on. They are irrelevant.

Totally. All I want to do is get them to reveal themselves. I'm almost never actually talking to them, even if I'm addressing them.

And yes, it's not that hard to make the mask drop. What it is, is wholly necessary.

The other thing is, it's remarkable how, despite all the deletions of transactivists' comments, people reading it now are still grasping the entire thread with total comprehension.

sackrifice · 03/04/2019 14:04

Can we just remind everyone that the moment that Caro was approached by the police, after being complained about by a certain mother of a child that was taken abroad to have their genitals removed, the blog with all the harassment had the harrassment posts removed.

This is a wide network of people targeting a mother for having opinions about children being seriously gaslighted by an ideology that wants to silence dissenters.

It is all linked. As evidenced here.

JessicaWakefieldSVH · 03/04/2019 14:07

LauraMipsum

Re your words on spent convictions, as I understand it, if you have a history of dishonesty, that is allowed to be disclosed as it’s in the public’s interest to know

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