Biosex affirmative children's books

[NotAJellyBaby]

Not sure what else to call it - basically books which say that you can like whatever you like and still be a girl/ boy. Books for kids as young as 3 are being published at an alarming rate encoraging kids to doubt their biological sex. I want to collate a master list of books for young children with present the alternative. Sadly, they are few and far between. Here's what I've found, please add more!

Pink is for boys

www.amazon.co.uk/Pink-Boys-Eda-Kaban/dp/0762462477/ref=sr_1_1?s=gateway&crid=24193442VGJPY&keywords=pink+is+for+boys&sprefix=pink+is+f%2Caps%2C152&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1553952399&sr=8-1

(received reviews such as "I bought this book with high hopes, and while it delivers on featuring diverse characters it relies very heavily on a boy or girl frame. If you want to offer your children more than 2 gender options, this is not the book that will do it.")

Julian is a mermaid

www.amazon.co.uk/Julian-Mermaid-Jessica-Love/dp/1406386421/ref=pd_sbs_14_1/258-9722745-9587464?psc=1&pf_rd_p=18edf98b-139a-41ee-bb40-d725dd59d1d3&_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_wg=kEaW0&pf_rd_r=Y9MK4MBSTNSNBK3ZNJQ2&pd_rd_i=1406386421&pd_rd_w=M7pXR&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&refRID=Y9MK4MBSTNSNBK3ZNJQ2&pd_rd_r=75eae36a-52ef-11e9-aaac-1b9af162ec26

One review tries to call Julian "gender fluid" but the book clearly describes him as a boy who dresses up in "feminine" clothes and should be accepted just as HE is.

My princess boy

www.amazon.co.uk/My-Princess-Boy-Cheryl-Kilodavis/dp/1442429887/ref=pd_sbs_14_30?psc=1&pf_rd_p=18edf98b-139a-41ee-bb40-d725dd59d1d3&_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_wg=3ab59&pf_rd_r=K3MAC7M5X238KVJJF4WJ&pd_rd_i=1442429887&pd_rd_w=T1zwl&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&refRID=K3MAC7M5X238KVJJF4WJ&pd_rd_r=d59c916e-52ef-11e9-8669-1d4b023142e4

I hate hate hate the title, but the message seems positive, i.e "princess" boys are still boys. Has a review that I think is gender critical but honestly these issues have got everyone so bloody confused that it's hard to tell.

"Girls shouldn’t be raised like little princesses, all frilly pink dresses and dolls as this can lead to being treated in a less serious way and often having less fun than boys. However if you are born a boy and want to identify as a girl then how do you do it - it seems by dressing in frilly pink dresses and playing with dolls. How do these two types of behaviour co-exist in a sensible world?! This book is good because it introduces the idea of differing people."

The "all about Clive", "Clive's jobs", and "all about Rosa" books.

www.amazon.co.uk/Clive-Nurse-Clives-Jessica-Spanyol/dp/1846439914/ref=sr_1_1?s=gateway&crid=YBHIOKNBKUJQ&keywords=clives+jobs&sprefix=clives+%2Cstripbooks%2C154&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1553953454&sr=8-1

These books don't mention sex, gender, identity, or any other political buzz words; they don't centre around a story in which a child is initially marked as different but then we learn that that's OK; they just describe two children, clearly marked as male/ female, going about their day without conforming to sex based stereotypes.

Frida Kahlo

www.amazon.co.uk/Frida-Kahlo-Little-People-Dreams/dp/1847807704/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&crid=2OAJH1WSU0V1P&keywords=frida+kahlo&sprefix=frid%2Cstripbooks%2C156&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1553953809&sr=1-2

I know there have been attempts to "transwash" Frida out of history, but this book clearly presents her as a woman who liked to dress however she pleased. In fact, the whole "little people big dreams" series is like that as far as I know.

David Bowie

www.amazon.co.uk/David-Bowie-Little-People-DREAMS/dp/178603803X/ref=sr_1_fkmrnull_1?s=books&crid=7NGSU3QMFFZ5&keywords=david+bowie+little+people+big+dreams&sprefix=david+bowie+lit%2Cstripbooks%2C148&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1553954024&sr=1-1-fkmrnull

As above.

Amazing you: Getting smart about your private parts

www.amazon.co.uk/Amazing-You-Getting-Smart-Private/dp/0142410586/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&crid=2IOBONKGOBYIO&keywords=amazing+you+getting+smart+about+your+private+parts&sprefix=amazing+you%2Cstripbooks%2C150&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1553954114&sr=1-1

From the description: "Here is a picture book designed especially for young children who are becoming aware of their bodies, but aren't ready to learn about sexual intercourse. Amazing You! presents clear and age-appropriate information about reproduction, birth, and the difference between girls and boys bodies."

In this book, girls do not have dicks.

I imagine that most "facts of life" books will be based on sex as an immutable binary, but this one seems really nice for young children.

Anyway, that's all I've got for now. Please add your own (maybe we should even think about trying to write our own!)

I've written a series of picture books with a GC slant and a girl character but its on my (massive) slush pile of things people aren't interested in publishing, at the moment! So....
Good selection here. Lots of the Ahlberg Happy Families have cool and stereotype busting characters. I like the one with the climbers.....

www.amazon.co.uk/Ms-Cliff-Climber-Happy-Families/dp/0140378790?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

There was a good thread about children's books that didn't sex-stereotype their characters in the the last two or three months - I've tried searching for it but I can't find it (I'm a bit useless at searching!) Maybe someone more competent could retrieve it?

It's called Badass books for little girls but I don't know how to link to it!

Princess Smartypants
Bills new Frock?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3451466-badass-books-for-little-girls

I see someone else has already mentioned The Paperbag Princess - great heroine, crap prince who needs PBP to rescue him & slay the dragon. She also eschews standard princess attire.

There’s a very funny Babette Cole picture book about a doctor and where babies come from with a very daft and funny double page spread (age appropriate) of “all the different ways how mummies and daddies fit together.” I can’t remember the title just now.

I like the look of this - I'm A Girl! But I haven't read it, has anyone here? It's been on my wishlist for a while, but then I saw a pic of a story time drag queen reading it...

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1408857006/ref=cm_cr_srp_mb_bdcrb_top?tag=mumsnetforu03-21&ie=UTF8

Ah, I think it is ‘Mummy Laid an Egg’ and I might be mixing it up with Dr Dog.

Julian is a Mermaid is gorgeous. I really hope it doesn't get hijacked.

SpawnChorus I don't know, I've not read it, but I've not found his other books to be very pro-woman. Does anyone know if it's any good?

EmperorBallpitine

Have you considered self publishing them? I'm not sure how that would work for picture books.

drspouse

Thanks for the link to the other thread, I'll add those titles :)

I think we also need to include books about loving yourself as a lesbian (well, LGB in general) and BAME woman/ man. I watched a video from a detransitioned black woman talking about how internalised racism (as well as homophobia and misogyny) drove her dysphoria and it was fucking heartbreaking. She said at the end that she'd only socially transitioned but many of her detransitioned friends had had double mastectomies and were just so broken from it all. So many vulnerable people having their worst insecurities and darkest self loathing validated and celebrated.

We probably will need our own publishing house, and a private online writers group.

Wouldn't know the first thing about the former CallMeWoman but I'm sure we could rustle up the latter.

How about a series of books reaffirming the womanhood of "transwashed" or "transerased" women? Like celebrating the Bridget Jones trilogy as the first all woman directed trilogy, not the fucking Matrix

There’s a fab website called “A mighty girl” (they have a FB page too). Has lots of book recommendations and other interesting girl-positive resources.

Lettera I wonder if this is the thread you were talking about? It’s someone asking for recommendations on soy and adventure books for girls.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2891158-AIBU-to-want-a-spy-action-adventure-book-with-female-girl-leads-for-my-daughter-to-enjoy

I’m a librarian (not in public libraries any more sadly). If you are in a location that still values its libraries, check your local library catalogue and if there are any of these titles that you’d like your children to read but are not on the catalogue, ask if the library can get them in. I have bought books on parents’ recommendations many many times. And the added benefit is these books get into the system to circulate among any kids who pick them up on the library.

I'm not sure I'd label it "biosex affirmative" exactly but Sugar and Snails is a really fun and whimsical picture book about challenging stereotypes for both boys and girls ("sugar and spice and everything nice...") I am very happy to read this one to DD aged 4!

Great idea op, I've been thinking the same recently.

I'm sure somewhere I do have a list.

The only thing about Julian is a Mermaid (that someone be pointed out here - possibly @oldcrone but I'm not sure; hope it's ok to tag you!) is that it's very much about the performance of femininity which is similar to the whole drag thing, and I'm still trying to get my head around it. It's a beautiful book though and I definitely know of one boy I taught for whom it would have been useful as he adored to dress up like that.

I've been actively looking for books for some time.

I'd need to read Bills new frock again with my gc head on but it points out the way girls and boys are stereotyped age restricted from what I remember.

One thing I have noticed is there's very much more books for girls about girls breaking stereotypes than boys. This is important to address I believe because of toxic masculinity and also because I do believe - as I have had first hand experience of - young boys who query gender due to their toy preferences or personality need to see that boys can be boys and do / like all these things too. Which is when I think Julian is ok. The really big issue imo is the pinkification and frilly sparkly fluffiness of all 'girls' things.

I was just wondering why I feel a bit funny about the lovely pink mug my son has bought me for Mother's Day. I do believe I started to personally reject the whole pink thing quite young (I'm in my 40s) as I saw it as dumbing girls down.

Dogger would get my vote. Big sister Bella is really sporty in it too. But it's from the late 70's 80s when there was less of all this crap.

www.amazon.co.uk/Dogger-Shirley-Hughes/dp/1862308055

Also in Shirley Hughes Alfie series is a big sister figure called Maureen who wants to be a plumber when she grows up and babysits Alfie. I always like the casual way that's mentioned.

I knew I'd seen a list somewhere- this is a q and a with the letterbox library

parentingsciencegang.org.uk/web-chats/not-selling-sexism-a-booksellers-perspective-letterbox-library/

www.letterboxlibrary.com/index.html

Themes:
www.letterboxlibrary.com/acatalog/Book_Themes.html

Need to be a member to see the full list.

Ah I don't know the Alfie books, thanks toad!

This part of the q and a is interesting

"Have you seen much change since the 1980s?
Fen: Well- I haven’t been there all that time 😉 But I think it’s fair to say there are waves of progress and then a few steps back…
When I joined LL 12 years ago there seemed to be a resurgence of an almost 1950s type of publishing for children- lots of for girls/for boys stuff; very stereotypical portrayals. with the suffrage centenary and with the wider global feminist movement, publishers are ‘suddenly’ interested in presenting more balanced roles and there has been a huge rise in ‘amazing’ ‘incredible’ etc. bios of famous women!"

And this is worth exploring more:

"Are publishers putting out books that celebrate counter-stereotypical roles for boys also?
PSG C: e.g. boys being caring / showing emotion
Fen: Yes- but there are fewer. There is a great early years boardbooks series for example about a boy called Clive who engages in lots of -non-trad’ play and activities. One of the most recent titles, Clive Is A Nurse, was shortlisted for the 2018 Little Rebels Award.
The ‘gender’ section of our website also includes a book about a boy who loves knitting, stories starring boys and girls who play together/no gendered play. There is a fab book, temporarily out of print, called Big Bob Little Bob which I’d recommend. I am literally only suggesting a couple of titles at a time here! We know far more!"

big bob little bob

www.amazon.co.uk/Big-Bob-Little-James-Howe/dp/1406371114

"Great book about differences and acceptance

I thought this book was really touching and had an important message. Little Bob is a gentle spirit - he loves to read, playing school with his dolls and dressing in girl's clothing. His new neighbor Big Bob is boisterous boy, interested in sports and trucks. The two try to play with each other but find they don't have any common interests at all. The boys do spend time together but mostly the story contrasts how they are different. The turning point in the story comes when a girl, Blossom, moves into the neighborhood and mocks Little Bob for playing with dolls. In a touching moment, Big Bob defends with his friend. They then invite the girl to play, and she responds that she likes trucks more than dolls. They accept that and the three play alongside each other.

The book has great lessons:

First, just because you and others have different interests does not mean you cannot be friends. Kids can understand that we can accept others that are different from us and even become friends with them.

Second, some people may not fit into accepted gender norms. The book handles this issue well. It's quite blatant that Little Bob breaks from gender norms. Page after page, we find that Little Bob lacks the traditional interests of boyhood. However, Big Bob never mocks or belittles him. The only sense of dismay comes from not having a common interests. The only moment where Little Bob is confronted for not conforming for accepted norms is with the arrival of Blossom. However, that moment is quickly resolved. It's great because the story does not dwell on Little Bob's untraditional interests and the book does not have focus on bullying. Rather it is a focus on acceptance.

We borrowed this book from the library for my toddler. She seemed to enjoy the story but I have no doubt that she understands the full weight of story. We'll definitely revisit this book in the future. It's a highly recommended read."

Another old one - the Berenstain Bears He Bear She Bear

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0001712691/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_WVgOCb67H198Q?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

This seems to be out of print. I wonder whether it is now too close to controversial for the publishers to print?

Maybe someone will rewrite it for our brave new world...

"Every step single bear we see
Has a gender identity
He bears lead, and do and think
She bears flirt and dress in pink"

"Not every single bear we see
is a he bear or a she
Some bears are special: non binary
We call them they, or hir or ze"