‘Gender neutral’ toilets - first experience

[Womaninnit]

This morning went to the cafe of a well known theatre in central London. Now the toilets are ‘gender neutral’. I’ve seen so many threads on this. I’ve used these toilets before at performances and god knows the queues are horrendous at a performance but today there was only me in there - but, boy I could smell male wee! I hadn’t thought about this small aspect before. Not very nice and instinctively felt I was in the wrong place.

I've got to say I was totally fine with the concept of fully enclosed gender neutral toilets. That is until I experienced it at work. The toilets are disgusting. I hate using them. The state they're left in is just shocking. I've raised it internally in an informal way but been told we can't prove it is guys leaving it in that state - which is obviously true - but strange I've never experienced toilets so bad before! And it's not just the toilets bowls that are a mess on a regular basis - the seats too.

Single sex toilets are an important way of teaching young men to respect women's boundaries. It is good for them to hear, 'no, you can't come in here' on a regular basis.

The good men need to speak out.

There are now some unisex toilets at Lyme Regis, and they now regularly have piss all over the floor and seats. They are fully enclosed. As a side note, I have never seen a man using the sinks to wash their hands, I don't know whether it's because they're uncomfortable being next to women and children, or they're just dirty fuckers. Grim.

I stayed at a kind of conference centre on the weekend and thought you all might enjoy this sign - since we’re talking about toilets.

If I was working in a place that had mixed SEX toilets and there was urine on the seats/floor, I would ask for a cleaner to be sent to clean it every.single.time! If the boss told me to stop asking for a cleaner, I would ask her/him who would the6 suggest should clean up another person’s piss, keeping in mind, it is not MY job. I think if women kept asking for the toilets to be cleaned, because they can’t be expected to clean up piss or use a dirty toilet, you’d see a change in attitude. Cleaners cost money, the more we demand that we need them ,the more it costs businesses.

The any sex cubicles found in quite a lot of cafes - where for space reasons they're often unavoidable- are IME usually quite clean. Presumably the staff are aware of the importance of hygiene and check them often enough.

Single sex toilets are an important way of teaching young men to respect women's boundaries. It is good for them to hear, 'no, you can't come in here' on a regular basis.

This is an excellent point.

I hate the idea of women's toilets being changed into mixed ones. I agree that we need our own spaces etc. and not to feel intimidated.
In thinking about it, I've actually just realised that we have mixed toilets in work. There are two upstairs for staff, a large wheelchair accessible one on the ground floor, and a line of cubicles in the basement. All of these have a full door, toilet, sanitary bin, and hand drier in them. They work very well as the staff are respectful, and keep them clean. It would be a completely different story if they weren't.

Checked with the New Wimbledon Theatre this morning,female toilets available.
Pleasant man said it was 'an original question' ,I suggested it might become more frequent.

I've posted about them here before, but the only times I've been in the "gender neutral" - ie mixed-sex - loos in Camden Market, there's been a bloke in there who has left the door open. Do they do this in male loos if the urinals are taken and there's only stalls left? Or is it just in locations like Camden Market where there's tons of teenage girls that they are happy to be caight cock in hand?

I used the loos in Wagamama in Cardiff with dd, who is 14. I had almost sent her up alone. They have separate Ladies and Gents cubicles, but they are all off the same tiny corridor, so the first two or three on your left as you walk in are for men, the farthest three for women. It was very quiet and empty when we went in, as we came out a man came in. If dd had been alone it would have been easy for a man to pull her into one of the cubicles and lock it. No one would have heard her . Made me feel frightened just thinking of it, and glad I went with her. Women need separate space.

To a PP who suggested complaining to the management- it doesn’t work.
I wrote twice to Dundee Rep theatre about their mixed sex toilets and got fobbed off with a lot of “ inclusivity” shit.
So I wrote to Building Standards at Dundee Council and asked for an inspection of the Rep, as they were breaking the law by having unisex toilets without floor to ceiling cubicle doors, and with communal washbasins.
After their inspection I got another useless letter saying it was all ok because there were some single sex toilets on a different floor of the building!
I am now boycotting the Rep. I will go to the theatre in Edinburgh or Perth instead, so they have lost my business permanently.

I went to the Hayward gallery the other week. They have invented some stupid "inclusive" squiggle to denote who is welcome in each toilet. Totally indecipherable, obviously thought up on the back of an envelope by a well meaning but drunk group of hipster millennials. Being hard of thinking and luckily not desperate for a wee anyway I thought bugger this for a game of silliness and went elsewhere.

The theatre loos in my neck of the woods all seem to be single sex and appropriately labelled at present (some are even Male and Female!) - I'm inclined not to say where in case they get grief for it.

Gender neutral loos are OK if they are self contained individual facilities with enclosed toilet, sink and hand dryer off a public space like a corridor. When they are lobbied and you have to share sinks and waste bins then it’s a problem. We have the former at work and it’s fine. My experience of mixed loos at a bar in Shoreditch was horrible. Followed down the stairs by a 6’7 Australian bloke who sensed my apprehension on arriving in the communal area with “ah this ain’t good is it”. Cubicles were disgusting and the whole environment felt unsafe.

I'm wondering where this ends - urinary tract infections and more loos available for men?

If I was working in a place that had mixed SEX toilets and there was urine on the seats/floor, I would ask for a cleaner to be sent to clean it every.single.time! If the boss told me to stop asking for a cleaner, I would ask her/him who would the6 suggest should clean up another person’s piss, keeping in mind, it is not MY job. I think if women kept asking for the toilets to be cleaned, because they can’t be expected to clean up piss or use a dirty toilet, you’d see a change in attitude. Cleaners cost money, the more we demand that we need them ,the more it costs businesses.
Yes! Things only get fixed if it causes a problem. So make it a problem to be fixed.

Babdoc I stopped going to The Traverse Theatre in Edinburgh because of their mixed sex toilets. The Fringe is a nightmare. Went to a show in a venue which throughout the year has single sex toilets but it’s taken over by one of the big Fringe companies in August. They had put up “Hey, use these toilets whatever your identity is, it’s all cool” type sign. I didn’t use the toilet. This was early evening. Fringe shows go on there until well into the wee small hours. Drink is taken. I couldn’t imagine having to use one of those toilets when there are leery drunk men in them.
I’d advise asking venues if they have sex segregated toilets esp during Fringe.

What bothers me most about these experiences, which are set to become more and more common, is that in most circumstances women will not be listened to and so many will just quietly exclude themselves from public life or at the very least curtail their daily life.

The disrespect shown for women and girls today isn't something I could have envisioned when I came of age in the 90s (an era that frankly seems utopian compared to the crap going on now).

I've attempted to use Gender Neutral a couple of times. Except they have stunk and had piss around the bowl on the floor. So I backed the fuck out, told the staff and asked for the radar key instead.

're the radar key. I do have a disability and generally have my under 3 month child with me

Thank you @S1naidSucks . Will start doing that when I am somewhere with unisex toilets and there is piss all over.

I worked somewhere where we had unisex toilets close to the office and single sex toilets in the corridor. The ones in the corridor where really cold and I was afraid to get bladder infection from sitting on such a chilly toilet, but after ten o'clock every day, there would be pee on the floor in the unisex toilets. So really didn't have a choice. Luckily after a couple of months I found a ladies' on another floor, that wasn't cold. So I went 3 floors down to have a pee.

Agree OvaHere