‘I have a handbag therefore I am a woman’

[Lomondstripe]

I’m not sure what the rules are here on posting screenshots of tweets, but I have just read the most INFURIATING thread on twitter where a talks about a gold lame handbag and red lipstick and how it marks them out as so CLEARLY a woman and stops misgendering and dysphoria. Great for them.

But, despite a veneer of gender fluidity and breaking down of stereotypes, why oh why oh WHY are we stating that femininity = female?! It’s utterly bonkers! Am I, a cisgender heterosexual woman, not as much of a woman because I don’t wear red lipstick and carry a gold handbag?

I believe this is what they call ‘peak trans’? Count me on side - I can sit on the ‘oh but maybe we should just be kind’ fence no longer and should have trusted my gut from the beginning!

Thanks to those who pointed out my use of cisgender - should have really have popped it in quotes as I don’t consider myself ‘cis’ or the use of it to be acceptable. Also speaks to the fact that despite knowing what I believe to be right and true, I still feel like I have to word things correctly for fear of being branded a bigot - which couldn’t be further from the truth. I actually have friends who have transitioned, including a FTM individual who I truly believe is not transgender but lesbian - rejected by their father as a queer daughter but accepted as a ‘straight son’. Heartbreaking.

They might be "female norms" in this culture in this time. They are not female traits. They are nothing at all to do with being female.

Men aren’t nurses! [runs off dying of laughter] 🤣🤣🤣

Does traits mean something different? English isn’t my first language, I thought norms and traits were interchangeable words.

It’s as though any straying from the female norm is hugely attacked in the press as not being a real woman, you just don’t get that same level of negativity when a man doesn’t fit into a male gender norm.

Surely it's the other way round? Which is why men think they can't wear dresses and skirts, but women wear trousers all the time.

Spokk, I thought norm was a shortened version of normative, I didn’t realise it was more a way of saying excluded.

What would be a better way of describing something non-typical, or is non-typical the main way to do so?

Simon, no they’re not typically female traits. In the same way as stating gay men typically dress like The Village People is nonsensical.

Trait is a genetically determined characteristic.

If people are staring at your gold lame handbag its probably because gold lame in the daytime is a bigger faux pas than diamonds.

Just a polite heads up @exculpatrix
TERF is a term that the mods have banned from Mumsnet. Dont blame other users if your post is deleted. Read the forum rules before posting.

Thank you AssassinatedBeauty, I thought they were interchangeable words.

Pile on? Can’t see a pile on just people engaging with a poster, it’s called dialogue to those who aren’t snowflakes.
No need for the apology or the hate speech Excul

Mumsnet posted the forum guidelines at the top of this board;

www.mumsnet.com/info/trans-rights-moderation-policy

SimonJT You've had the fortune to stumble onto a forum where the average user recognises reality. A couple of the things you've said is problematic. Sorry 'exculpatrix’ beleaves in misogyny.

Goodness me, “pile on”, really?

I don’t suppose they taught debating skills or critical thinking at your school, did they?

I have no idea what beleaves means, or pile on, one day the English language will not confuse me, I’m off to see if google can help me out.

Sorry Simon, it’s believes. 😳😁

"Beleaves" is a typo/error for "believes". A "pile on" is where lots of people join in with attacking someone.

I was slightly concerned that a pile on could be related to piles!

I have a utility back-pack, wear jeans and flip flops, have short hair, don't wear makeup.
I must be a man.
But WAIT?!?!
I enjoy sewing, cooking, singing, and painting as hobbies, and I enjoy working in a job that helps people. I must be a woman!

No.
What makes me a woman is my DNA, my lady bits, and the lived experience of being a woman- including sexism, my opinions being looked down on as emotional frivolousness, my propensity to being too emotional to be taken seriously.
Oh, I also pushed a baby out and I breastfeed. These too, make me a woman.

Not what I wear or how I act. Womanhood is a state of being that can't be altered by surgery or hormone treatments.

I was slightly concerned that a pile on could be related to piles! 🤣

No, but you’ll find some posters talk through their arse.

Surely all Simon JT is saying is that make up, an interest in fashion is more common in women than men? Which is true. Maybe doesn’t appreciate, given English not his 1st language the nuances of “female traits” Doesn’t mean it’s universal and doesn’t mean that it’s definitive or instrinsically “female”.

Link?
Sorry, no idea what this is referring to and a woman who nearly never uses handbags and stuffs everything in my pockets.
As for any make up - nope! Never

Sat 23-Mar-19 23:18:57
Men aren’t nurses! [runs off dying of laughter]

Where was that even in relation to that comment and why would men being nurses ever be funny?