Need Advice Quickly - Mermaids Fundraising

[idkwhatisgoingon]

New here, made this account purely to get advice on this situation.

I'm female, with short hair in a "boys" style. I wear "male" clothes, play football, study maths and science etc. Have no interest in make up, shopping, "girly" things. I've always been like this and probably always will be.

I'm currently in sixth form and going to university soon. Every year my sixth form has a fundraising event for LGBTQ+ charities. I've literally just received an email of the student weekly newsletter and this year the fundraiser is for Mermaids.

I've always been very outspoken about my support for any and every group of people - gay, bi, trans, black, white etc. If I can help people in any way, I will.

However, when I was about 13/14, the transactivists started getting more attention. At first, I thought it was a great thing - being a sufferer of gender (sex) dysphoria myself, I - at least somewhat - understand and empathise with the experiences of transsexual people. And who wouldn't support those brave few people who just want to live a happier life, right?

But then it got a bit sinister, and I found Transgender Trend and this Feminism Chat forum. I began to see the movement for what it really is - a homophobic, misogynistic, transphobic (yes, the "trans movement" is transphobic - threatening and insulting real, genuine transsexual people is transphobic) harmful mess. And I spoke out against this. I questioned it. So from the age of 14 I was repeatedly called in to see people to speak about my "wrong opinions" and my "bigotry" - even though my transsexual friends agreed with me and we were never disrespectful or insulting. Fast forward a few years and my opinions are exactly the same, if not more solidified.

I'm particularly concerned with the movement's focus on children. Children should not be labelled as "trans". At all. Ever. Children do not have the cognitive abilities to even understand what being trans means, let alone to identify as it. I take a huge issue with the fact that my sixth form is fundraising for a "charity" that ostracizes lesbians, gay men, bisexual people, gender non-conforming people, women and transsexuals. I am appalled that this institution I rely on to safeguard and protect the 2000+ young people who attend think it's acceptable to support a cause that seeks only to harm my generation and those of my younger siblings.

I don't hate trans people. Of course I don't. I have a very diverse group of friends, and every transsexual person I have ever met has taken my stance - Mermaids is dangerous. I love the trans people I know, and you know there is a massive problem when trans people are opposing a "transgender charity".

So I have a question for anyone reading this - what do I do? I can't in good conscience sit and watch my teachers, friends and acquaintances blindly throw money at this "cause". I can't. But I'm afraid that if I speak up I'll be labelled as a bigot, as uneducated, as wrong. I really need advice. The fundraiser is on the 24th April, so I have a month to do something - anything - to help people see what is really going on.

I wish you luck. The best tack I can suggest is that school fundraisers should go to small local charities, not national ones in receipt of major lottery funding. Could you approach the head teacher and explain that Mermaids is not suitable, for reasons you are well able to articulate? It may be too late for that.

If you are feeling exceptionally brave, you could mount a counter-information day, using the event to hand out literature with a different opinion.

Sorry I'm not articulate or clever enough to give you any specific advice but just wanted to say wow, if you are only 17/18 you are an exceedingly brave and wise young person. Good luck, you are going to go far

Good luck.
Get a few examples of things printed out and go see the head. Take a parent maybe.
Then follow up with an email?

You'll get hate for it for sure, I tiptoe around at work on these things, but I'd draw the line and have to speak up if they were fundraising for them.

Good luck!

If you have friend of a same opinion then maybe go together and speak to the head and outline your concerns and an alternative charity.

Print off a copy of the Times article about Mermaids and the lottery grant. (I dont have a subscription so hopefully there is someone with a share token) Then perhaps add concerns you might have, for example that transgenderism is being glamorised on You Tube. Perhaps add in you concerns about the possible irreversible effects www.bmj.com/content/364/bmj.l245/rr-1

and send it to the head, asking if the school could reconsider, or at minimum ask if proceeds can be split between Mermaids and Transgender Trend, which advocates a more conservative watch and await approach. Perhaps the Head would be willing to discuss?

Can you find a small, local charity instead? Perhaps one that supports LGB kids or is about mental health in general? Or a homeless shelter (LGBT youth are at high risk of homelessness).

Then you can start your objection with ‘Mermaids have already been given almost a million pounds this year - trans kids are a tiny fraction of society - can we instead raise money that will help more people, people who are currently at risk of getting no support? Local charities are really struggling...

Or here - help people who are at real risk of disease and death now:

donate.oxfam.org.uk/emergency/cyclone-idai?pscid=ps_ggl_Emergency+-+Cyclone+Idai+-+Generic_mozambique_broad&gclsrc=aw.ds&&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIwvutpK-W4QIV7rvtCh2v5g9UEAAYASAAEgKWy_D_BwE

Thank you everyone - I really appreciate the replies.

When I first started here there were posters everywhere saying the likes of "okay to be gay" and now it's all "some people are trans, get over it" - nothing about LGB. It is really a liberal place, but I think people have become a bit misguided. I think if I am able to show how transactivists are harming LGB people and transsexuals, and then also mention the money aspect and other alternative charities, then I might be able to get through to someone. Also, I might be coming across as confident here but IRL I struggle with anxiety so this is quite a difficult thing for me - very important though that I do what I can.

If it isn't too much to ask please could people list a few things about Mermaids that I could use? I've trawled through many threads about them over the past few years but school is hectic at the moment and I want to ensure that my argument is irrefutable and taken seriously. Thank you to everyone who is taking the time to respond.

OP, really admire your bravery and drive to do something about this.

Thank you.

If you need IRL support, maybe you could contact Transgender Trend via email and ask for advice? Given it's a parenting group, maybe they'd even know if someone local to you might be able to help?

I'll try to dig up some threads/stuff about Mermaids.

In the meantime I'd like to point out: GIDS, the only UK NHS medical service for trans children, do NOT provide direct links to Mermaids on their website. If you search "Mermaids," the only mention of the charity comes up inside one patient's "story."

gids.nhs.uk/search/node?keys=mermaids

Just thinking if my DD is in a similar situation what could she do.

As you are upper 6th, could you get some like minded parents to muscle in and write to the head - don’t shoulder this yourself alone - politically, I think it’ll take a parent (or a group of) to write a strongly worded letter , including asking them whether they have the funds for future litigation cases, with the word ‘safeguarding’ plastered all over it.

There was the case of Child J who was the subject of a court case between the parents, I think. The Mum was supported by Mermaids who insisted that the child was transgender and really a girl despite being biologically male. The court eventually told the Mum not to contact Mermaids and to let the child present as a boy which the child was happy to do.

It may be best to speak one-to-one with a teacher & as others have suggested take a couple of articles.

Serious questions are being asked of Mermaids as well as Safeguarding concernd being raised by HCPs about how young people are treated by Tavistock GIDS. The government has said there will be an inquiry into how children & young people questioning their gender identity are treated in light of the rapid increase.

Times:
'Trans ideologists are spreading cod science'
by janice turner

Those who defend controversial charity’s right to a £500,000 lottery grant should really listen to what it is preaching

Are you a Princess Barbie jelly-baby who likes frilly dresses, high heels and takes ages to get ready? Or a GI Joe jelly-baby who wears boots and functional clothing? Did you know that your preference for pink sparkles or muddy sports isn’t down to societal expectations of boys and girls. No, it’s written in your chromosomes. And that’s science.

Well, science according to Mermaids, the charity for trans children, in a presentation understood to be given to thousands of teachers, health workers, police and politicians, and part-funded by the Department for Education.

I listened to a recording of this bizarre 90-minute training lecture and wish others could too. Particularly those who pride themselves on rationality and evidence-based thinking: atheists, fans of Richard Dawkins and Ben Goldacre’s Bad Science; those incensed by climate change deniers on TV or creationists in schools; the same people who are tweeting #istandwithmermaids because the Big Lottery Fund is reviewing, in the light of an outcry, its decision to award them a £500,000 grant.

On tape the Mermaids trainer tells us that humans don’t come in two sexes, male and female, sperm and ovum: “Most people still think that way,” she says airily. “But what we know now, thanks to advances in science, is that the human race has up to 42 different sets of chromosomes.”

Biological sex is on a spectrum, she says, like skin tone and (seriously) bra size. A person’s “gender identity jelly baby” has nothing to do with how we are raised: it is inside you at birth. You know you are a man because you walk like a man and like “manly” things. A listener questions why this lecture is based upon stereotypes and is told “you’re going too clever”. (continues)
www.thetimes.co.uk/article/trans-ideologists-are-spreading-cod-science-m8n0pdbq3

Michael Biggs Sociology Assoc Professor article:
www.transgendertrend.com/suicide-by-trans-identified-children-in-england-and-wales/

Mermaids had a very successful 'gamer' fundraiser for them online just before Christmas & so received a 'windfall' of unexpected money.

There are lots of overseas charities where being openly LGBT+ is an offence.
Also many smaller UK charities who have been doing important and frequently unpublicised work with people who gay & lesbian with far less corporate and government financial support.

Perhaps find a few possible less obvious alternatives to propose?

Does your family have a subscription to The Times online? There are several very helpful articles on there, if you search for Mermaids.

Some links -

A review of the evidence about gender affirming hormone treatment in children:
blogs.bmj.com/bmjebmspotlight/2019/02/25/gender-affirming-hormone-in-children-and-adolescents-evidence-review/

Referenced blog post on Mermaids specfically:
4thwavenow.com/2017/10/21/should-mermaids-be-permitted-to-influence-uk-public-policy-on-trans-kids/

Article by Julian Vigo on the Forbes website:
www.forbes.com/sites/julianvigo/2018/12/27/pseudo-scientific-hokum-and-the-experimentation-on-childrens-bodies/#6c4cdbfc1167

Recent analysis of puberty blockers by an Oxford professor:
www.transgendertrend.com/tavistock-experiment-puberty-blockers/
And a letter to young trans people from a transsexual:
www.transgendertrend.com/letter-to-young-trans-people/

The GD working group website provides a scientific perspective-
Bob Withers
gdworkinggroup.org/2018/11/01/the-science-of-gender-evidence-for-what-influences-gender-development-and-gender-dysphoria-and-what-are-the-respective-influences-of-nature-and-nurture-18-19-10-18-the-tavistock-and-portman-nhs-fo/

And I would recommend referencing the Evidence Base page on GIDS, as it goes over the science as the actual NHS doctors treating the issue in children have laid it out. The Tavistock can't be called an "anti-trans" source:
gids.nhs.uk/evidence-base

(Especially their section on 'Desistance' and why they adopt 'Watchful Waiting,' which puts them at odds with Mermaids)

Fairplay for Women on Mermaids stats:
fairplayforwomen.com/mermaids-tg-lying-unprofessional/

The court case for the boy whose mother was told to stay away from Mermaids:
www.bailii.org/cgi-bin/format.cgi?doc=/ew/cases/EWHC/Fam/2016/2430.html

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/mermaids-uk-charity-ban-as-boy-forced-to-live-as-girl-dvx3j99cn

A couple of recent MN Threads:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3452489-Mermaids-given-500-000-by-National-Lottery-Sunday-Times

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3454658-recording-of-mermaids-training

Failing everything else, maybe you can print out the Barbie to GI Joe jelly baby scale....

(Thanks to all the women who have shared this elsewhere!)

Honestly, I think I’d just say that Mermaids is giving trans people a bit of a bad press at the moment and seems to have gone off the rails to become pretty intolerant itself. It’s also entirely trans-focused - so it only covers 1/4 of the aim.

Mermaids leader refused to appear at an event because of a lesbian woman in the audience this week - that’s not helpful to the L part of the LGBT.

See if you can find something local that covers the LG and B, not just trans.

Not on Mermaids, but this piece by Hadley Freeman describing her walk to work and homelesness might be helpful to persuade someone you'd like to focus on local charities instead of national ones (if that's an angle you were thinking pursuing).

www.theguardian.com/society/2019/jan/12/my-walk-to-work-shows-me-how-homelessness-is-transforming-britain

I haven't read the whole thread but off the top of my head I would

1. Make them aware of what the CEO of Mermaids did with her son innThailand which was made illegal shortly afterwards
2. Question whether Mermaids is a charity or a lobby group - they have a charity registration number but their activity is more like a lobby group
3. Make them aware of the promotion Mermaids did of Dr Webberley who broke the law and has since been fined

Lastly, not Mermaids, but the coining of the phrases Cotton Ceiling was something that peak peak transed me and it's a prime example of how lesbians are threatened by the trans ideology and it's essentially homophobic.

Hi idkwhatisgoingon

First of all really respect what you are trying to do.

I was part of a generation which in many ways was hopelessly reationary, but strangely (and luckily for me) had no problems with girls or young women being "tom boys". Cant imagine what it is like today, with the pressure in schools, online, the main stream media.

Was going to recommend many of the links heresyisthenewblack has listed.

Would only add, as the context is school, is maybe downloading or suggest teachers download the Resource Pack for Schools from transgendertrends. Link on their home page www.transgendertrend.com/

Worth remembering that Mermaids is not made up of professionals but set up by a woman who illegally arrange for her male child to be operated on. And on one level could be said to exist only to justify her actions.

And that she persues a policy of trying to silence those who oppose her beliefs whether by getting women and lesbians ejected from meetings - see www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3539529-Lesbians-removed-from-Accenture-inclusive-trans-event-by-7-police-officers or instigating police investigations - see www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3537080-Police-interviewing-Caroline-Farrow-under-caution-and-threatening-to-arrest-her-for-misgendering

I can see it is going to be a bit hard if the suggestion of Mermaids came from fellow students as they wont want adults / authoritiy figures telling them they are wrong!

Have your fellow students seem some of the really upleasant things said by parents who seem to be pushing children to be trans, as much because they the parents are reactionary. ie better a trans boy than a lesbian. Maybe this would carry more weight. If young people realised that those pushing the trans agenda are adults who are abusing their position of care to push young people into fulfilling a set of beliefs they have. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3531622-4thWaveNow-has-some-incredibly-disturbing-stuff-from-Facebook

Will try and find the link to the young women detransitioners

Firstly, OP, thank you for your courage.

I'm a teacher - mostly 6th form - with teenage daughters. I really hope they are lucky enough to have school role models like you!

Lots of better suggestions than I can give upthread, but I had to post.

Courage calls to courage, everywhere.

Here are some links to Pique Resilience Project:
twitter.com/piqueresproject
twitter.com/piqueresproject

ooops! sorry for posting same line twice. this is the youtube one:

DS's school only fundraises in a big way for charities founded in the same city. Then it's about wider local community & there's more of a tie in. Pupils do bakes etc for Children in Need/Comic Relief etc. So there's balance with wider world.

www.ipetitions.com/petition/dear-stonewall-please-reconsider-your-approach

Hi idk nothing to add to the resources that people have provided here, but I just wanted to say there are lots of us here (and everywhere else too) that didn't do the feminine thing / wanted to be boys because they seemed to do better stuff than us (I'm in my 50s and it was even difficult to play football as a girl when I was younger). Most of us turned out fine and are really pleased that we weren't transed, when nowadays we might have been. It's great that you feel able to be gender non-conforming in a world in which girls are way more identikit now than when we were younger.

Thank you everyone, you've all been really helpful and encouraging

I'm currently drafting an email (a rather extensive one) which I will send firstly to the person who chose the charity. I'm going to request a face-to-face meeting in the email. Then, if nothing changes, me and a few friends are going to the head to take it further. Very nervous but we're going to do it.

It’s always good to question and find our answers for yourself. People are too easily manipulated and silenced.

There’s definitely a PhD in there somewhere.

Good luck and stick to your principles. If you haven’t heard of ‘PIE’ (paedophile information exchange) then take a quick look - not that this has anything whatsoever to do with this case but it shows how a group can become powerful and influential yet be incorrect. I heard about them vaguely as a child - but even I knew they were Bad People but some politicians and lobbyists at the time were sucked in.