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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

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Original poster

Not shaving and work

44 replies

Thisnamechanger · 21/03/2019 00:22

This isn't meant to be a super serious one I promise...but I can't sleep and was thinking...

DP is away for a few weeks and I'm giving my skin a glorious break from shaving (I make a bit of effort when DP is here because even though he doesn't really say it I know he prefers it) but when he's not here am gloriously fuzzy.

I do some hobbies that attract a lot of hippy types so have got v.used to furry pits and legs on women and don't think it looks unsightly also am lazy and it really hurts my skin

I have a work away weekend thing coming up. It'll be hell but I was quite flattered to be asked and it has an amazing gym and spa and pool which I'm buzzing about. Its not a very big place (think fancy country mansion hotel thing) and we only have the odd hour to enjoy it so will likely be using facilitates the same time as colleagues.

If I were going alone I'm not sure I cba spending ages making myself bald all over for a half and hour swim/sauna... On the other hand people in offices can be such bloody bitches at time...WWYD...risk being branded wild woman of the forest and style it out or bite the bullet?

And also got me thinking about shaving and work in a wider context. Might be specific to my work as we don't have a dress code and when it's v.hot in the summer the men wear t-shirt and shorts and the women shorts and strappy tops. And the boys all have their pale hairy legs on display, why shouldn't I, in theory. Any non-shavers braved it at work and had good/bad reactions?

Hope all are having a good evening

OP posts:

Spokk · 21/03/2019 06:13

Unfortunately, because you are a woman, you have to make sure you expose no body hair. Men claim they have the same pressure with their facial hair, but as a rule no one cares. How much do you want to use the Spa facilities?

Dermymc · 21/03/2019 06:33

You'll be fine. Most people won't notice.

Original poster

Thisnamechanger · 21/03/2019 08:32

How much do you want to use the Spa facilities?

I'm giving I'm by Saturday, I intend to be getting as much mileage as possible

OP posts:

Loopytiles · 21/03/2019 08:34

In those circumstances I would shave.

isabellerossignol · 21/03/2019 08:37

I think people are unlikely to notice. I rarely shave my legs and no one has ever commented, and I've never even seen anyone taking a second glance. I notice it, but others don't.

BusterGonad · 21/03/2019 08:37

I would shave, because I don't have the balls not too. I hate shaving but in the same breath I don't like being hairy. Yep, women can be bitches and their own worst critics.

BernardBlacksWineIcelolly · 21/03/2019 08:39

it depends

the worst that can happen is that people will talk about you behind your back (and you know they will)

do you care about this? (I probably would by the way, so no judgement). If you do care enough then shave

if you're not bothered then don't

you'll be as much interest as who snogged who at the christmas party, and the gossip will go on for about as long. but it's not pleasant while it's happening

Disfordarkchocolate · 21/03/2019 08:43

I can't imagine talking about if a colleague removed her body hair or not. I'm not sure I'd even notice, to be honest.

CherryPavlova · 21/03/2019 08:44

Nobody really cares. It might cause the odd nudge and smirk if you are naturally more hirsute than an Orangutan with armpit hair trailing down your body but generally it’s a non issue. They’ll just think you have spent a couple of years on the continent.

Mumfun · 21/03/2019 08:47

Have struggled with this.

I often shave underarms as keeps me cooler when exercising. So it is pragmatic and dont feel so bad as ex boyfriend cyclist used to shave underarms (and back/chest) for coolness reason. So can view as non sexist.

But dont shave legs often. So might brave them on this occasion.

Do what makes me feel comfortable and lets you enjoy the occasion!

BernardBlacksWineIcelolly · 21/03/2019 08:49

I can't imagine talking about if a colleague removed her body hair or not

in my office a man dyed his hair

people still smirk about it now

it's possible my colleagues are more childish than other people's...

Original poster

Thisnamechanger · 21/03/2019 08:53

it’s a non issue

It is and it isn't. Lots won't notice, a few will, some won't care, some will unconsciously have that 'ew' reaction.Whether they're enough of a pillock to turn it into a gossiping point is another thing, although arguably they're not someone I will worry about impressing if they're going to be that daft.

I think on MN we're all quite accepting of the choice to not shave but you only need to look in the comments section on news stories about shaving to see a lot of people are conditioned to react with disgust, even if they only do so in the privacy of their SM.

So maybe it's actually wondering if people are, on some level, finding me disgusting that I think is the mental roadblock, rather than whether they gossip (because if they do they're probably a prat anyway). Does that make any sense? I know in the grand scheme of things it's a total non-issue but I thought it was an interesting thought experiment. I think there are lots of things I'm for in principle but not brave enough to live in practice!

OP posts:

Original poster

Thisnamechanger · 21/03/2019 08:57

And actually as an extension on that thought is it worth being temporarily thought of that way in order to challenge the status quo? Before I started one of my hobbies I'd never seen a woman who didn't remove body hair at all, with it all showing I mean. I did have a moment when I felt....not disgust but perhaps surprise/startled. And I kept looking at the girls because I found it so unusual. But it takes about five minutes for it to feel totally normal though. I guess if more people who don't like shaving went for it it's get more normalised to see out and about.

OP posts:

Original poster

Thisnamechanger · 21/03/2019 09:00

Fuck the fucking daily mail in the eyes by the way.

OP posts:

nettie434 · 21/03/2019 09:02

It is really irritating to feel under this pressure. Noticed on the tube last summer that a few young women were withstanding rubbish notions of female beauty. I am not brave enough to tho’ ! Think I’d go for a leg wax. Your legs will be nice and hairy so it will work better

deydododatdodontdeydo · 21/03/2019 09:03

I would, I prefer to shave. It's probably societal pressure maybe. I never normally expose my legs or armpits, so nobody sees except me, but I still prefer it.
I'm not obsessive about it though, and nothing is ever super smooth.
I have stopped shaving at all for months at a time. DH never mentioned it until I asked him and he just shrugged and said he had noticed.

Original poster

Thisnamechanger · 21/03/2019 09:06

I am not brave enough to tho

That's the thing isn't it, I do t know if I am either! Sucks that we have to be 'brave' just to show our natural bodies.

Leg wax oh Christ no i couldn't - that I KNOW I'm not brave enough to do

OP posts:

LassOfFyvie · 21/03/2019 09:08

I wouldn't notice your unshaven legs. However I would notice you calling work colleagues "bitches"

On the other hand people in offices can be such bloody bitches at time

Bit hypocritical is it not? Posting about shaving being a feminist issue but happy to call women bitches?

spingiscomming · 21/03/2019 09:08

I’d shave - but hate myself for it and spend ages feeling like a bad feminist - but id shave.

Pink bits of Instagram is a hero of mine - I wish I had her courage !
www.instagram.com/p/BvOD4uCAGp-/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1uia5i75n2ccq

Faster · 21/03/2019 09:09

I don’t shave. Have hairy pits, legs etc. and I get changed in front of other female staff members at the start and end of my shift, no ones ever mentioned a thing. They know I don’t shave, the same as a few other members of staff, as we’ve chatted about it, but it’s been very much a non issue for me.

Original poster

Thisnamechanger · 21/03/2019 09:09

That's spooky! I was just pottering about thinking about this thread and thought about posting pink bits! I love that account

OP posts:

HavelockVetinari · 21/03/2019 09:12

I'd style it out, but make sure you don't have pubes on show!

spingiscomming · 21/03/2019 09:15

@Thisnamechanger

She’s great isn’t she !

MotherForkinShirtBalls · 21/03/2019 09:57

For the last few years I've stopped shaving my legs and I think I've averaged one leg wax a year in the last 3. I have two dc and want them to see an "real life" woman who isn't primed and plucked as relatively normal. I also don't do my bikini line other than to tidy stragglers. I swim two or three times a week so I'll be honest, the first few weeks I was very self conscious, and more so when I ran the school run in capri leggings with hairy shins, but I've never noticed anyone noticing. I do however shave my pits as although I know it's just psychological, I feel fresher.

I say go and own whatever decision you make. You need to enjoy the time you spend there, so whether you are fuzzy or fuzz free, you're the one most likely to notice.

butteryellow · 21/03/2019 10:11

I used to use the gym at a hotel when I lived close, now perhaps it's because at the times I went, the main pool clientele were older women and men doing gentle exercise (and of course the occasional super important showy bloke doing lengths in a spa pool and causing a tidel wave going up and down), no-one even looked at me twice.

I once watched with horror as a bloke covered in body hair from head to toe went straight from the sauna into the hot tub (NO SHOWER FIRST) - with no shame, and nothing from the two men he was with.

If blokes can do that which is so far over the acceptable line, I think that hairy pits from a woman in the pool are just fine, and I think that we need women with the courage to prove that.

I'm short and fat with kids, I'm already off everyone's radar, so it's not very brave of me to do it (no-one looks at me anyhow).

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