Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Not shaving and work

44 replies

Thisnamechanger · 21/03/2019 00:22

This isn't meant to be a super serious one I promise...but I can't sleep and was thinking...

DP is away for a few weeks and I'm giving my skin a glorious break from shaving (I make a bit of effort when DP is here because even though he doesn't really say it I know he prefers it) but when he's not here am gloriously fuzzy.

I do some hobbies that attract a lot of hippy types so have got v.used to furry pits and legs on women and don't think it looks unsightly also am lazy and it really hurts my skin

I have a work away weekend thing coming up. It'll be hell but I was quite flattered to be asked and it has an amazing gym and spa and pool which I'm buzzing about. Its not a very big place (think fancy country mansion hotel thing) and we only have the odd hour to enjoy it so will likely be using facilitates the same time as colleagues.

If I were going alone I'm not sure I cba spending ages making myself bald all over for a half and hour swim/sauna... On the other hand people in offices can be such bloody bitches at time...WWYD...risk being branded wild woman of the forest and style it out or bite the bullet?

And also got me thinking about shaving and work in a wider context. Might be specific to my work as we don't have a dress code and when it's v.hot in the summer the men wear t-shirt and shorts and the women shorts and strappy tops. And the boys all have their pale hairy legs on display, why shouldn't I, in theory. Any non-shavers braved it at work and had good/bad reactions?

Hope all are having a good evening

OP posts:

Funkaccino · 21/03/2019 11:27

did have a moment when I felt....not disgust but perhaps surprise/startled.

Startled! How bad was it?

Original poster

Thisnamechanger · 21/03/2019 11:52

Startled

Lol it was just unusal and I wasn't expecting it. There were these two lovely gorgeous young women in quite skimpy clothing with masses of dreadlocks piled on their head and they both hadn't shaved pits or legs in a long long time I'd say. No make up either. Both looked lovely and natural - it's just not something I was used to seeing

OP posts:

Original poster

Thisnamechanger · 21/03/2019 11:57

went straight from the sauna into the hot tub (NO SHOWER FIRST)

Barf.

OP posts:

deydododatdodontdeydo · 21/03/2019 12:04

I once watched with horror as a bloke covered in body hair from head to toe went straight from the sauna into the hot tub (NO SHOWER FIRST)

See: people do find body hair disgusting!

Funkaccino · 21/03/2019 12:11

I think when I've noticed women with hairy legs/pits they've usually been quite conventionally attractive. I think it might be easier to ignore the expectations for those women because they still conform a bit or at least arent used to being told they're failing at womanhood by not being fuckable.

Not that it's ever easy as such.

EngagedAgain · 21/03/2019 12:19

I'm with Loopy. Under those circumstances I would definitely de fuzz, despite all the arguments about why should we, and don't worry about what people think. At the very least bikini line surely 😬

Original poster

Thisnamechanger · 22/03/2019 08:36

Update; got distracted by blocked bathplug. Forgot to pack razor 😂

(But bath plug unblocked in two minutes thanks to amazing YouTube hack)

OP posts:

MagicMix · 22/03/2019 10:55

I had a huge mental block about this too and I think people who say it's a non-issue are either very lucky in how they were brought up and/or their own self-confidence, or they are being disingenuous. We all know women are judged negatively by plenty of people for their natural body hair.

I stopped shaving completely maybe 6 months ago, with armpits being the final frontier, and I've been swimming a few times like that. I do wear swimming shorts rather than bikini bottoms, but the legs and armpits are very obvious. It's been fine! The way you work yourself up about it mentally is way worse than the reality, as I always knew it would be, but still it felt like trying to psych myself up to do a bungee jump or something.

I still don't know whether I will relapse when the summer comes or whether I keep it up and be hairy in shorts and sleeveless tops (seems more extreme somehow than being hairy at the pool), but I know that I don't WANT to shave. I really want to set a good example for my daughter of a woman who is comfortable with her body in its natural state, because I know my mother's example mattered a huge amount to me and the fact that she never wore makeup is definitely the reason I never did.

By the way, whenever I see a hairy woman I always think she's cool and I always used to wish I could be that brave. But obviously I never said anything because it would be a bit strange to go up to someone to compliment them on their armpit hair. So, much as it doesn't matter what people are thinking inside their heads, definitely some women will be thinking positive thoughts, even if they are shaved themselves.

nettie434 · 22/03/2019 13:43

Forgot to pack razor

Thisnamechanger
The blocked bath plug was actually a help then! End of debate. Hope you have a fantastic time with lots of swimming and spa-ing.

Some women will be thinking positive thoughts, even if they are shaved themselves.
Magicmix 💯 % this!

Womaninnit · 22/03/2019 15:26

well. I think if you're brave go for it. Think about younger colleagues seeing you and seeing it as just that teeny tiny little bit more part of the general spectrum of normal life - as you say - before you did your hobby you never saw any women who didn't shave. I;m going to assume that you are averagely hairy and you won't shock anyone.....

BorneBackCeaselesslyIntoThePas · 22/03/2019 15:50

it's possible my colleagues are more childish than other people's...

This can only be determined with closer examination

(1) do any desks have ‘humorous’ figures
(2) is there any use of nicknames from tv shows
(3) is there a secret Santa and does this result in smutty gifts
(4) has there ever been sighting of a ‘you don’t have to be mad to work here’ sign?

Scoring more than two points is considered worrying behaviour

Babdoc · 22/03/2019 15:53

It’s depressing to this ageing feminist to find that young women are still trapped in this shit of being judged on appearances, or feeling obliged to conform to please men.
You are so much more important than your body hair, OP!
Stop giving a toss what anyone thinks of your appearance, and feel free to live your life and do great things.
I raised my DDs as radical feminists. DD1 has forested arm pits that could probably house an orangutan, and happily sports them in public. Her boyfriend loves her to bits, and has never asked her to shave.
It’s your hair and your body, OP - do whatever YOU want with it!

spingiscomming · 22/03/2019 15:57

@MagicMix

By the way, whenever I see a hairy woman I always think she's cool and I always used to wish I could be that brave.

100 x this - I'm almost jealous of their "no fucks given" attitude

butteryellow · 22/03/2019 16:04

See: people do find body hair disgusting!

err did you read? The disgusting bit was going from the sauna to the hot tub without showering - the fact he was covered in body hair was to support that body hair isn't an issue for men.

butteryellow · 22/03/2019 16:06

The way you work yourself up about it mentally is way worse than the reality, as I always knew it would be, but still it felt like trying to psych myself up to do a bungee jump or something.

Oh I agree - the first time it happened was because I was distracted by kids, and I was horrified myself - but then no-one noticed, so it made the next time a bit easier, until I was - not comfortable, but secure.

DP however begged me to shave my legs/pits like a 14 year old asking to be dropped off round the corner, when we were going to be going to a hotel pool with someone from work. I don't actually remember if I did or didn't, but I expect I did, because he was just so distraught at the idea of strangers seeing me hairy.

deydododatdodontdeydo · 22/03/2019 16:15

err did you read? The disgusting bit was going from the sauna to the hot tub without showering - the fact he was covered in body hair was to support that body hair isn't an issue for men.

I find body hair on men disgusting, and I'm sure other women do too.
Of course, some women may like it.

bagpiss · 22/03/2019 16:17

Do they do waxing at the spa? If anyone notices just say you were hoping to get a wax done there, maybe they 'couldn't fit you in' 😀

EngagedAgain · 22/03/2019 17:34

What a brilliant idea Bagpiss! Actually I like men with a certain amount of chest hair. Very hairy backs (shame I haven't got strike through!) seem to put me off, so bit hypocritical on my part really, although the two don't always go hand in hand. As for underarm hair, whilst I'd like to not bother I do it as I feel cleaner n fresher for longer, not for vanity.

LassOfFyvie · 22/03/2019 17:56

I find body hair on men disgusting, and I'm sure other women do too

I do too. Legs, pubic hair and arms are ok but hairy backs, chests and underarms are horrible.

Flip

1 2