Twice I have 'put a man in hospital' by standing up to him

[bechdel]

The thread on Anthony Watson try to put the Economist finance editor in her place has made me think about this.

The first time I 'put a man in hospital' (as the narrative goes, when I get blamed for it latterly) was a man in his early 60s who was responsible for me being abused as a child.

He told me to back down and shut up about it. I told him I wouldn't. He promptly had a stroke.

Second time was a man (also in his 60s) who was bullying me at work over a protected characteristic. I let the evidence mount up then got legal representation and told him I was suing him.

He ended up in hospital that night.

My fault. All my fault apparently, for opening my uppity mouth instead of caving under the narcissistic rage created by not doing as I'm told.

I'm sad for both of them that they got ill. But I refuse to accept either of these incidents as my fault. Which is forever how they will see them.

Every time I stand up to a man people act like the sky is falling.

I was taught not to moan, because according to my mother, people don’t want to hear me moan. My mother was one who would use the threat of my dad to keep us in line. ‘You’ll bloody jump for it when your dad gets back.’ Then she’d seemingly forget about the offence for the rest of the day until dad got back, when she’d start up again, and dad would shout and scream and chase us upstairs and wallop us with whatever was to hand. He had a bit of a temper did my dad, and more than once, well more than 100 times he said he wanted to kill me. Once my mother told me that it was a good job I was a girl, or my dad would’ve beaten me up by now. So no, standing up for ourselves was never something we were encouraged to do.

My DS can be a gobby little shit at times but I never raise my hand to him, and I’ve never told him I want to kill him, and I encourage him to stand his ground while also considering his actions on others.

you did not cause this!

Although what a superpower if you could... ;)

Cor, look at you with your super powers!! Felling men left, right and centre with your black magic 🤣🤣IF ONLY!
You are brave and strong. It takes guts in this world for a woman to stand up as you have done. Especially when you've been abused. Believe me, I know.
All power to you. (If only courage and a working moral compass really did give us super powers!)

Bechdel: it takes courage to stand up for yourself especially when those who are supposed to Love/care for you or who are otherwise in a position of authority over you range themselves against you. More power to you.

Whatisthisfuckery - sorry you turned someone into an alcoholic too, you are even more powerful than me!

The person who had a stroke (btw user149 also the same person who taught me that females are just for sex, so no, of course never encouraged me to stand up for myself) was an obese alcoholic but somehow his lifestyle had nothing to do with his illness. Just me. Amazing!

Thanks for all your support :)

I don't suppose you take requests do you, OP? It's just that there's an obnoxious neighbour of mine who is really getting on my tits.

Bechdel Such a shame we can only make bad things happen. Loads of times in my life I’ve thought I’ve done something clever, or useful, or worthwhile, and it turns out that it was a man who did it all along. Men work their powers of good through evil women, and women work their powers of evil through good men. Proof indeed that women are more powerful beings than men.

How different the world would be if every time a man was rightly accused of misogyny he had a stroke!

If I may....fuck that for a game of soldiers. It's not exclusive to men, my grandma was able to make herself have a heart attack every time my mum decided to do something fun without her.

Shame on those who are trying to shame you for the consequences of those despicable men.

I had to stand up to some people several years ago who wreaked havoc in my life and those around me. If I ever hear that their health has diminished as a result of their actions, which lead to my actions, I'll be booking a brass band. If I had any fucks left to give OP I'd give you one, but you don't need any either. I say good for you, your conscience is clear.

Good for you
Deeds not words!

Hope you have some support (eg Union representation?) to help with work/ management
And