The Lessons of Leaving Neverland/Parallels to Our Times

[GeorgeFayne]

I just finished watching the documentary Leaving Neverland and found it incredibly compelling and disturbing. I can't get it off my mind. It's bigger than just Michael Jackson and even child sexual abuse. I see some clear parallels to several ongoing cultural issues and thought I'd share.

The narrative that was presented years ago and, regrettably, that I even somewhat bought into was the idea that Michael Jackson was just an innocent childlike figure who had been deprived of his own childhood. The phrase "child's brain trapped in a man's body" was even used (sound familiar?) and sadly many of us fell for it. As he paraded and flaunted his victims in front of the whole world, there was very little questioning or outcry. We bought the story and we're buying it again. Children are being abused right in front of us, (did you see the 4th Wave Now Tweets?), and the narrative is...let it happen. Transitioning children with gender dysphoria at a young age is the loving and compassionate course of action. To withhold treatment would be cruel and damaging. The gaslighting by TRAs has been incredibly successful here in the US (and Canada).

Also, I found it interesting that both mothers featured in the documentary had moments where they did question what was happening, but actively talked themselves out of their concern. I have always felt that mothers (not all, but many) have an instinctual drive to protect their children, an inherent gut sense when their offspring are threatened or in danger. When we talk ourselves down and try to ignore or rationalize the alarms, our children are at risk. Mothers are speaking out, concerned about men in women's spaces, men participating in women's sports, the scourge of porn and the sex industry, and the growing tide of ROGD. We are being told there is nothing to fear, that these are irrational fears, and that we should trust in our leaders, physicians, and communities to protect our children.

Don't buy it, speak up. Don't allow more people to be groomed into accepting the idea that woman is just an identity or that children can actually change sex with blockers and hormones. Don't let the men in your life be seduced by pornography.
We must destroy this toxic narrative and flood our world with the cleansing sunlight of TRUTH.

My mother trafficked me as a child. Granted, she was born into it (birth family, plus husband's family involved in trafficking), and was herself treated as a sexual object with no identity of her own. The Second Wave movement gave birth to the sexual abuse survivor movement of the 80's and 90's. I was part of it, working on the ground, as well as infiltrating accused perpetrator listservs (email lists). I witnessed how the movement was put down, through media proliferation of the narratives invented and tested in those groups, such as false memory and moral panic. Today, those narratives are still widely accepted as consensus reality, even by feminists, even though they're factually and scientifically false. I've seen 4th Wave Now, and other prominent GC activists continue to parrot these narratives because they've been proposed as analogs to trans as a social contagion. It's not very feminist to throw CSA survivors under the bus in service of a political point, but when that point seems to be pinned on consensus reality, it's difficult to not just nod one's head.

The truth of the original CSA movement, and the truth of sexual abuse and child trafficking, including its most horrific forms (which have not even come to light yet), remain clouded in as much secrecy, and disinformation as the Jackson's family life. Getting to the truth is a nasty, dirty business, and there are only a tiny number of people willing to wade in. There are hints and glimpses contained in old court transcripts and therapist's offices. The devil's in the hidden details, and you can't trust someone's version of them just because they get published in the NYT or propagandized in a Frontline special. The need of the public to turn away from a pain inducing reality is the right hand to the left hand of hidden-in-plain-sight perpetrators working to protects themselves and their profits.

We have a long, long way to go before people, including a majority of feminists, truly understand the pandemic that is child sexual abuse and the multi-billion dollar child trafficking industry. The war has barely begun.

Bloomer

Wow. Your comments are so eloquent and thoughtful, and greatly appreciated. I'm genuinely sorry for your lived experiences, though am impressed by the strength and purpose you've demonstrated. Thank you for your efforts to stop the horror that is child sex abuse.

I'm intrigued by your thoughts on child sex abuse and modern feminism. Since leaving a liberal/progressive mindset of feminism and discovering radical/gender critical perspectives, I've finally felt free to discuss my concerns about child sex abuse and the overlap it shares with the sex industry and porn, especially the financial implications as you've mentioned.

You're totally right that this is ALL of our problem and in many ways, if I can't start finding ways to speak out, I'm complicit.

I thought there were similarities with the mothers of the child drag queens Lactasia s d Desmond is amazing Seemingly slowing the child to dictate to their own detriment. And the mothers enjoying the attention

Bloomer, if you have important information about organised CSA/E, even if it’s historical, please report it. Are you in the UK?

bloomerpool
We have a long, long way to go before people, including a majority of feminists, truly understand the pandemic that is child sexual abuse and the multi-billion dollar child trafficking industry. The war has barely begun

Thank you so much for this whole post. I have noticed a couple of people trying to through CSA survivors under the bus around this because of the so-called 'contagion' thing, and it alarms me that people have so little grasp of the hugeness of the issue of CSA/CSE.

Thank you for saying this.

*throw

I also watched it and had similar thoughts, George.

The grooming in plain sight, of parents (particularly the mothers) and the children. The narrative that they were special and had been chosen (again both the parents and children being told that). The promise of lifting both parents and children out of their ordinary lives.

Mirrors the "I always knew that I was not like other children" stories that we hear a lot.

It put me in mind of Helen Islan's complaint of transphobia against of Miranda Yardley, who is a transsexual. Helen is the mum of a child who identifies as transgender and works for Mermaids. I think Helen got a lot of fawning in some quarters for her tiger mum antics (or attention-seeking twattery as some would see it). The transgender thing elevates her from ordinary single mum into sparkly tiger mum who is a public figure. Similar with the Neverland documentary, the parents enjoying the kudos and limelight.

The vitriol doled out to anyone who dares to speak up. Anyone remember Jarvis Cocker who invaded the stage while Jackson was performing at the Brits in 1996? Cocker was pilloried by large parts of the press and parents who said that Cocker had put their children (who were on stage with Jackson) in danger. Cocker stated at the time “My actions were a form of protest at the way Michael Jackson sees himself as some kind of Christ-like figure with the power of healing. The music industry allows him to indulge his fantasies because of his wealth and power. People go along with it even though they know it’s a bit sick. I just couldn’t go along with it anymore. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision brought on by boredom and frustration.” Cocker was arrested on suspicion of assaulting three children and taken to a police station. Charges were later dropped.

Made me think of all the police officers talking to people who are questioning this ideology (Posie, Linda, Venice, Glinner, HarrytheOwl, Miranda).

The silencing of any questioning. Put me in mind of Edward Lord writing an open letter to The Times to demand that Andrew Gilligan the journalist stop writing about transgender issues.

The denial. "He has sleepovers with children because he loves children. He is like a child himself. An abuser would be secretive, not doing everything in plain sight like Jackson does".

Mirrors the "predatory men would never take advantage of reduced safeguarding of women and children" argument that we hear.

The DARVO. "Just the suggestion of child abuse is so disgusting. You have a filthy mind" mirrors the "you're obsessed with genitals" accusations.

The overnight stays that seem to be so important in certain quarters.

I agree OP Those young men were totally credible and I watched with mounting horror the lengths to which MJ went to groom both them and their families. It feels as if we were all complicit - standing by and accepting the narrative of a gentle soul with a child like love for children. So many red flags - yet all ignored. Just like Jimmy Saville.

The parallels are identical to the current situation and yet again we have celebrities, politicians, much of the media uncritically celebrating behaviour that is abusive to children. Fucking unbelievable!

I was very impressed by what Jarvis Cocker did. I don't recall vitriol being heaped on Jarvis Cocker- quite the opposite. I recall he got a lot of praise for it. The arrest involved his being taken to a police station until the early hours of the morning when he was released. Nothing further came of it.

The parents of these boys failed them badly. Jackson at that time was clearly seriously weird looking and behaving very strangely. A grown man wanted to share a bed with children and it is only with the benefit of hindsight this seemed odd? Or that other aspects of Jackson's life weren't questionable?

Please don't blame the parents. In many cases, they are groomed too. With MJ, for example, he evidently spent a lot of time convincing the parents that he was a good man.

bloomerpool

Your post is of great interest to me as a survivor of trafficking and of abusive psychotherapy.

A number of things you posted raised flags for me,

I am very interested to hear your opinion of the organisation that calls itself the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation (ISSTD).

You also mention a Frontline special. Could you please provide details regrind the Frontline special you mean?

In my experience Frontline produced some excellent documentaries exposing psychiatric and psychotherapeutic malpractice and horrific abuses against vulnerable patients (mostly women and children).

I am extremely interested in learning more from you about which Frontline documentaries you consider to be "propaganda".

Also bloomer

Do you have an opinion about the "energy psychotherapist" Phil Mollon?

If anyone here is interested, this is, in my opinion, an excellent expose of psychiatric abuse involving the ISSTD by the highly regarded documentary makers Frontline

Promoters of the satanic panic will disagree. Readers here can watch it and make up their own minds as to whether it is a we'll researched, important documentary or propaganda

I thought the exact same thing when I was watching it. The not being able to question any of it, the 'outrageous' suggestion that MJ could be anything but a wonderful person, the way he was held up as this total untouchable being.

Also, there was a bit where they had footage from where Wade Robson was a kid, and it was footage of him dancing on stage to claps and cheers from a crowd interspersed with him saying how much he loved doing what he was doing and then his mum saying the same.

I thought it was eerily similar to what we see from Desmond is Amazing.

I kind of hate that I see this trans stuff bloody everywhere now, but I just don't think the parallels can be ignored.

I kind of hate that I see this trans stuff bloody everywhere now, but I just don't think the parallels can be ignored.
Rather than characterise it as MJ grooming paralleling trans, I would say the behaviour of some trans women parallels the behaviour of predatory men.

The problem is the fact that some makes are driven by fetishes, in a way I think women can't comprehend. They justify to themselves that indulging their fetish is ok even if it's harmful (whether that's raping, compulsive porn watching, convincing themselves children can consent and are sexual, etc etc).
Society would rather indulge in mass gaslighting than face up to the fact that a sizeable proportion of men are like that and put things in place to deal with it. Such as a criminal justice system that is effective against male violence. A recognition women need and deserve male free space. A ban on pornography that degrades and harms women. Making it clear in law that people can't consent to harm

The not being able to question any of it, the 'outrageous' suggestion that MJ could be anything but a wonderful person, the way he was held up as this total untouchable being

The "Wacko Jacko" nickname started to be used in 1987. It was widely used. The stories about sleeping in an oxygen tent, skin bleaching, Bubbles the chimp etc started from that time. Plenty of people were questioning Jackson's behaviour. And yes I do blame the parents.

8Please don't blame the parents. In many cases, they are groomed too. With MJ, for example, he evidently spent a lot of time convincing the parents that he was a good man. sad*

It is not so much about 'blame' as about apportioning responsibility. The mothers were responsible - not for the abuse, of course, but for wilful blindness and for over-riding their own instincts, in pursuit of lifestyle and glamour. The lengths one mother, in particular, went to to pursue her dream was very questionable indeed.

Many of Jackson’s stunts (like the oxygen tent) have since been described as publicity stunts generated by Jackson and his people to keep him in the press.

I think creating the idea of being an oddball eccentric was calculated to disguise his predatory nature.

So we have people arguing an adult man is so much of a child he is innocent and sexless and others attempting to make the case that children have sexual needs of their own. This is a very dangerous idea to propagate. It should not be a surprise that it is still being trotted out for other predators.

I think creating the idea of being an oddball eccentric was calculated to disguise his predatory nature

If they were stunts they generated nothing but adverse publicity. His public image was weirdo not eccentric oddball.

The mothers were responsible - not for the abuse, of course, but for wilful blindness and for over-riding their own instincts, in pursuit of lifestyle and glamour. The lengths one mother, in particular, went to to pursue her dream was very questionable indeed

Indeed. The parents might not have carried out the abuse but they facilitated the environment for it to happen.

The "Wacko Jacko" nickname started to be used in 1987. It was widely used. The stories about sleeping in an oxygen tent, skin bleaching, Bubbles the chimp etc started from that time. Plenty of people were questioning Jackson's behaviour. And yes I do blame the parents.

And yet, he was still free to abuse children for years after 1987.

I do also think the parents need to take responsibility (I don't 'blame' them, that lies with MJ) but there were loads of people who knew Michael Jackson must have been abusing children and didn't, or couldn't, do anything about it.

He might have been seen as a weirdo but he was also seen as relatively harmless. There was a lot of denial about his sexual proclivities.

He might have been seen as a weirdo but he was also seen as relatively harmless. There was a lot of denial about his sexual proclivities

By 1996 Jackson's public image was severely dented. What sort of parent allows their small children to share a bed with an adult male?

That's it isn't it, he was 'harmless'. In the same way that transwomen now are being portrayed as 'harmless, marginalised, wouldn't hurt a fly, just want everyone to be their authentic selves' and that's why it's OK for certain adult TRAs to encourage teenagers to privately message them online, for schools to be advised that keeping secrets between pupils and staff (ie. That a child is trans) is OK, why it's OK for males to be housed in female prisons, why it's OK for males to be allowed in female spaces, why a man who is under investigation for unspeakable crimes can be a Green Party election agent and no one bat an eyelid, why TRAs can write books with stuff in it that seems to come out of Grooming 101 (alienating from parents etc), why certain people believe that children who are way below the age of sexual consent are perfectly capable of making transitioning decisions that will affect them for the rest of their life because 'children know what they want' etc etc et.

The association with LGBTQ also seems to be why an 11 year old child can simulate snorting ketamine on video, hang around with a convicted killer, dance in a gay bar in front of adults for money in the middle of the night and appear as a model for a fetish clothing company and there apparently be 'nothing of concern' there.

I'm NOT saying that all trans people or all gay people are predators, not at all and I want to make that crystal clear. What I am concerned about is that when LGBT is mentioned, safeguarding suddenly seems to become less of a priority, precisely because it seems that anything associated with the rainbow cannot be questioned.

I think it is difficult to determine the exact level of parental culpability in relation to events surrounding MJ

On the one hand MJ was, like so many psychopaths and predators, very charming and able to cast a spell on others.

I believe that he undoubtably groomed entire families as well as victims.

R Kelly has operated in a similar way, with hopeful parents entrusting their daughters to him to nurture their talent and progress their careers only to discover that their children were being alienated from them and emotionally controlled and sexually abused.

Whether a person is a famous entertainer or another person in a position of authority such as a priest, guru, sports coach, teacher, doctor police officer or psychiatrist, it is unremarkable for parents to place their trust in these apparently reputable people.

On the other hand witnessing the horrible activities of pushy parents in various professional arenas but especially in sports and entertainment, it is easy to see how a pushy parent's desire for fame and fortune and capacity to not see red flags that should be quite evident to anyone can place a child in danger.

I keep thinking about the antics of the Garfield family in the season 2 of Channel 4's Child Genius programme.

I felt so sorry for that poor little girl Aliyah whose parents' pushiness and bonkers regime of marathon learning sessions combined with new age quackery left many viewers concerns that Aliyah was being abused according to the Mail.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4803816/Parents-slam-Channel-4-s-controversial-quiz.html

Anyone interested in witnessing this for themselves can see Aliyah and her family here

and here

I do not wish to link to it as I consider exploitative but Aliyah's mother, Shoshana Garfield, who claims to be a psychotherapist, a genius and a survivor of multigenerational trafficking, can be found demonstrating psychotherapy techniques (in contravention of just about every known ethical code of practice in the literature) on her minor daughter.

Garfield is a psychotherapist associated with a notorious quack Phil Mollon, a man who uses “energy therapy” to recover repressed memories of sexual abuse. He is also involved in the sinister organisation the ISSTD that promotes false narratives of satanic ritual abuse. Her association with Mollon is evident here

A video that is of particular concern to me is titled "How to Help Your Children Deal with Aversions using EFT”. I am not going to link to it as i feel that Aliyah is being abused in the video. Apart from the fact that it is abusive and unethical to practice hypnosis, psychotherapy etc. (even quack therapies such as EFT) on people you know in your private life, let alone your young child, is it really helpful to teach a child how to overcome feeling of repulsion? Making a video of this abusive and unethical behaviour and uploading it to youtube makes things even worse. All this aside, it is really helpful to teach children to overcome feelings of repulsion and aversion?

It is hard to believe that someone who claims to be a survivor of CSE and multigenerational sexual abuse and sex trafficking uploads a video of her own young child in order to educate viewers on how to get children to "overcome feelings of repulsion”.

I have downloaded copies of Garfield’s videos for my records, just in case they disappear from youtube after I post this.

So, back to the MJ issue, I think there is a continuum of parental culpability with at one end, well meaning, naive parents being brainwashed by people in authority and, at the other, pushy parents who are prepared to sacrifice their children’s safety in order to pursue their dreams at the other. Most parents are somewhere likely in the middle, maybe knowing unconsciously that something is wrong but not allowing themselves to know it consciously.

My understanding of the grooming process is that by the time the perpetrator permist the parent/s to know that there is something wrong the parent feels complicit in the abuse for having trusted the abuser. The cognitive dissonance generated by these incremental disclosures can result on the parent/s just not allowing themselves to see multiple red flags.

That's it isn't it, he was 'harmless'

Was he seen as harmless? In 1996 perhaps the idea of sexual abuse wasn't considered but the Wacko Jacko image was deeply ingrained by then. My son was 6 in 1996 and no way would I have let someone like Wacko Jacko anywhere near him- let alone into his bed.