The Breast Book

[MilkSpill]

My oldest daughter is heading towards puberty so I'm stocking up on resources to discuss it with her. I'd heard great things about the new book by Emma Pickett called 'The Breast Book' and it arrived today. I was having a flick through and lots of positives - normalising breastfeeding, discussion of sexualised media, and then hit this.

EIGHT pages dedicated to advocating for elective mastectomy.

Totally glossing over the risks, no discussion of sexuality, just basically 'someone said Jack was a girl when he was born' and off into a story of how Jack did a lot of thinking and then had his breasts cut off. Presented positively and affirmingly and in child-appropriate language.

How am I supposed to use this resource with my daughter? I can't just cut 8 pages out of the book. I want my money back.

Did you get it from a shop or online? Online you have seven days to return it so email them now and return ASAP.

If a shop I'd go in and say it's unsuitable for your child if you don't want to go into the reason. Not wanting to encourage your child to have unnecessary surgery is a good reason though.

HappyPunky

I'm not sure I can return it on the basis of the content... but while yes I do want my real money back I also just kind of metaphorically want my money back iykwim... feeling really deflated, it just seems like my girls can't have anything just for them which doesn't have to include the possibility that they might not 'really' be girls.

You can return anything you buy online.

Oh god. The last line. Society tries to push us into boxes, telling girls and boys how they should behave. Maybe we should be breaking that down rather than chopping off our breasts?

You can definitely return it. As long as you do not cut out the pages. Well done for checking it first.

It's not fit for purpose as it's unsuitable for a child. Not sure how they would take that in a shop though. You may have to swap for something else. Online you're fine to return it.

A book explaining mastectomy to a child is only suitable if someone close has breast cancer or maybe high risk like Angelina Jolie

On the other hand if you're going to read the book together it might be a way to get in there first on this topic and get her to think critically by posing some questions to mull over together as you read, before an evangelical guest does a workshop at primary school or she watches you tube videos...

I thought my kids hadn't encountered this idea that boys can actually turn into girls and vice versa, until they started talking about it ... At least that account makes it clear jack didn't turn into a boy/ man... It could be a starting point for open critical thinking if you read it together rather than just leave the book on her bed and never mention it.

More labels can sometimes just lead to more limitations. If you feel that you have to have surgery and take hormones to conform, this shows we have a long way to go before individuals genuinely feel accepted as who they are. Having breasts and a masculine identity for example, shouldn't have to be a contradiction.

That makes so much sense.

As does this.. Society wants to push us into boxes and tell us girls are supposed to behave a certain way or boys are supposed to think a certain way.

I wonder why she included this section in her book.

That is terrible!!

1. I hope intersex organisations get to see this and complain to the publisher!

1. I developed early, quickly and was very large of nork. If I had read that I'd have thought I was trans. I actually hated my breasts. I had a breast reduction when I was 30 and it was amazing. I felt so much better. And I was treated differently by men, AND women! I was treated like a person, without my breasts being an issue. However, unlike this person, who is suggesting if you're uncomfortable with your breasts then they can be removed totally and you're likely trans, I have NEVER felt sad about the removed breast tissue. I mean not even a millisecond.

1. I had to use a supplemental feeder for breastfeeding and it is NOT a straightforward alternative. It is harder than breastfeeding. And that's before you're out in public. And the cleaning is almost a part time job. Bottle feeding is far far less time consuming cleaning-wise. This method of feeding should be more widely known about, but never pushed as an equal alternative because it's so much more work.

1. The fucking idea that you can just take donated milk because you had elective surgery is abhorrent to me. And that you can plan on it is also factually incorrect in many places. Breast milk banks should be for preemies and babies whose mothers cant and are in hospital. Women who've had mastectomies because of cancer should be very high priority too. Women who decide they are men should not even feature on the list and if so, then at the very, very bottom. I'd say after people like me who had an elective surgery but don't pretend we're not women and then get pregnant. How can you say you're not a woman, then give birth and demand resources from other babies and mothers? I guess male entitlement isn't biological...

1. Send it back and state why.

Society wants to push us into boxes and tell us girls are supposed to behave a certain way or boys are supposed to think a certain way.

Forgiveness As that's exactly what she's done!! "I don't fit like a girl so I must be a boy".

Children are exposed to trans thinking and gender stereotyping/ the equation of sex with gender (if only tangentially at first/ mostly) at school and in the media from younger than we like to think and if not discussed openly with an adult capable of critical thinking it seeps unexamined into their world view.

Does nobody else think picking this apart thoughtfully as part of reading the book together could be a countermeasure?

Iamtherforeidontidentify That is what is so crazy....

This is so sad.

Talk about breast cancer but not body modification ffs.

Does it include breast ironing? Fucking doubt it.

Does it include a section on breast cancer @MilkSpill?

That’s so sad. So irresponsible in a book aimed at young girls who are all, at some stage, going to feel uncomfortable about their bodies. Write a chapter about how normal that is when our bodies are changing-don’t suggest it’s a problem that needs to be fixed with bloody surgery. Makes me so cross.

blueskies, I see what your saying but anyone who has an issue with the content of that chapter is likely to be doing everything they can to address gender stereotyping when it comes up and will likely be instilling counter views in their children as they grow.

*you’re!

It blithely mentions breast binding but does it talk about the risks associated with it?

That is shocking. I can't believe the publisher would dare to produce a children's book minimising healthy breast removal.
Absolutely sick.

Okay, we need to create a campaign around this book. Well done: you've given us another tangible, real-world focus to use to draw attention to the nightmare scenario that's being promoted to our already confused children.

Let's take it up with the publishers:

Pinter & Martin Ltd
6 Effra Parade
London
SW2 1PS
United Kingdom
T. 020 7737 6868
Registered in England No 03367702
VAT Reg No. GB 702 0053 08

email us at [email protected]. We will usually respond to general enquiry emails within 24 hours, but often a lot sooner.

You can also contact us via Facebook or Twitter.

Then let's take it up with Amazon and any bookseller that sells it. If I come across it in any local bookshops I'm happy to take it to the counter and make a lot of noise in front of other customers about why I think it's appalling.

Let's ask for a large warning sticker to be placed on the front of it, so that any adults buying it for a girl they know are completely aware that it has a whole section encouraging mastectomy for girls who feel they can't perform/ don't want to perform 'girl' to current standards.

OP, would you make a start by posting your OP, with pix, in the main section of Mumsnet or AIBU: this is the only place I post so I don't know what would work best. Ask those women to contact the publisher/ Amazon too.

I'm also going to post the contact details of the publisher and Amazon on a couple of other general interest messageboards I participate in — messageboards full of ordinary mums and dads and grans and grandpas who would be horrified to think that their girls are being told that if they like doing boyish things and they don't feel they fit in with the girly girls it's fine to have their breasts cut off so that they can pretend to be boys.

I'll do it in the next two hours. Is there anyone out there who'll join me?

My contribution:

twitter.com/elfie41767774/status/1095626988369469441?s=21

Name changed obs

I've just emailed the publisher.