hollybella89
Domestic violence is very concerning, and any allegation needs to be taken seriously. The risks of allowing unfettered contact with an abuser far outweigh the problems of "false claims," IMO. 2 women a week in the UK are murdered by men, usually in the context of intimate partner violence. Ignoring this problem or saying it's all a fabrication on the part of a woman making the allegation results in actual loss of life, including in the case highlighted by the OP. Intimate partner violence tends to happen as part of a pattern of behaviour called coercive control, which encompasses many forms of abuse. Part of the abuser's tactic can be controlling their partner using children (because they know the mother will do anything to protect her kids). It does seem to be a predominantly male-on-female issue, especially in terms of injury and loss-of-life.
If it was a stranger who was accused of a pattern of violence against the mother of a child, would you be happy for that stranger to babysit? Why is it any different if it's the father? We know separation from the abusive partner is the riskiest time for women and their children, in terms of likelihood of suffering violence from the person (generally a man) they are escaping.
It sadly would not surprise me at all if this murder-suicide was done as this despicable "father's" final way of "punishing" the woman who bore him a child, because he wanted the "upper hand," especially if he was an abuser.
If you don't know about this subject already, I would recommend you read up on coercive control and what domestic violence actually means for those experiencing it. Their lives can be literally at risk. I worry you are handwaving the problem.
I care a lot more about keeping women and children alive and unmaimed, rather than worrying about the hypotheticals of how safeguarding frameworks might be used to negotiate property rights. Your attitude to this smells a bit similar to how some people say we shouldn't believe rape victims when they come forward, or investigate these claim or put measures in place to protect victims, because a miniscule fraction of women might not be telling the truth.
There was almost 46000 orders made in Queensland in the 2017-2018 financial year. That doesn't mean there is 46000 violent people out there that shouldn't be able to have contact with their children.
Is it really so hard to believe that there could be that many abusers out there? Google tells me the population of Queensland is 4.6 million. So if we assume each order is for one person that means 0.01% of the population gets an order against them per year. Bearing in mind that rate of something like psychopathy and antisocial personality disorder is about 1-4% in the general population www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4649950/.
Is 46000 per year actually that unreasonable a figure?
Some stats as to the Australian situation:
www.aihw.gov.au/reports/domestic-violence/family-domestic-sexual-violence-in-australia-2018/contents/summary
One in 6 Australian women and 1 in 16 men have been subjected, since the age of 15, to physical and/or sexual violence by a current or previous cohabiting partner (ABS 2017b). Family, domestic and sexual violence happens repeatedly—more than half (54%) of the women who had experienced current partner violence, experienced more than one violent incident (ABS 2017b). However, between 2005 and 2016, rates of partner violence against women have remained relatively stable (ABS 2006, 2017b).
In 2014–15, on average, almost 8 women and 2 men were hospitalised each day after being assaulted by their spouse or partner (AIHW 2017b). From 2012–13 to 2013–14, about 1 woman a week and 1 man a month were killed as a result of violence from a current or previous partner (Bryant & Bricknell 2017).
A thread to start with for anyone new to coercive control:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3452784-Coercive-Control-a-need-for-better-awareness