Dv, father with court ordered custody kills baby

[Oceanbliss]

www.news.com.au/national/queensland/news/child-adult-found-dead-in-apparent-murder-suicide-on-sunshine-coast/news-story/17f9001d327747efb5df0392c45b3210

I am very distressed at this news report of an innocent 6 month old baby murdered by his father who despite perpetrating domestic violence is awarded shared custody by the courts. I've been aware for such a long time of so many mothers escaping domestic violence, seeking support are forced by courts, police, social workers to hand over their babies, their children to violent men and have no way under our current system to protect their children or themselves from threat. These men are protected. I've seen in news women taking their children interstate to hide them and protect them having Amber Alert issued against them and portrayed as kidnapping their children. Domestic violence is an epidemic in our world and this culture of protecting men and their entitlements and their reputations is enabling the assaults and deaths of women and children all over the world. Will this ever change?

Well, at the risk of sounding a touch inflammatory, the comments from holly do sound an awful lot like saying "Women make things up. You can't trust a woman just because she says she's a victim." and also sounds like treating cases like this as collateral damage so that those cases of men wrongly accused of DV still get to access their kids etc.

I hope I've read that wrong and holly will be able to disavow those kinds of statements and actually meant something completely different.

There was almost 46000 orders made in Queensland in the 2017-2018 financial year. That doesn't mean there is 46000 violent people out there that shouldn't be able to have contact with their children

What does it mean then?
It means that 46000 people have such bad tempers and lack of self control that they can't stop themselves committing violence

Why should children be the guinea pigs as to how bad their tempers actually are?

The ONLY WAY you can take this approach is if deep down, you harbour some belief that DV victims are somehow bringing it upon themselves, asking for it, winding up their abusers and therefore they are at greater risk than the children are presumably don't annoy the violent parent as much and therefore invite the violence

To be fair I have said 'people' all along. I haven't specified men or woman because I see it all from both men and woman.

I've had plenty of men try to paint themselves as a victim. Some were. Others were just trying to use me and the system to further abuse their partner.

Again, I haven't disagreed with what people are saying here. I'm not denying people, mostly woman and children, need protection.

Unfortunately there are no winners in domestic violence. And the courts and police and every support agency can do everything they can to try and stop this cancer on society - but the crux is - until people, and yes I agree mostly men - stop being violent, there is only so much that can be done.

I don't think it's fair to imply that I disregard woman, don't do everything I can to protect them or would brush off a rape complaint. I am a woman. I have been in a domestic violence relationship myself.

I was merely stating a point about the circumstances of how an order in made in this state and that just because it is in place doesn't always mean the person is a violent threat to their children.

I live in England - I was advised by a solicitor to stay with husband as it keeps them safer and less likely to disappear to h’s home country. He said that the view taken by the court is that the woman is to blame and causes the violence so in the eyes of the court the children are safe as the woman is not there.
I’m counting internally to when my children become adults and using time to prepare. 11 years and 8 months.

MrsPear

I am sorry for the situation you are stuck in. It's not fair and it's not right. No one should have to suffer a situation like yours when you are just trying to keep your children safe. If that is how the court system is over there then that is awful and dangerous.

Its not just elsewhere Holly. Theres a regular poster in Relationships who is in the same boat and she is in Australia. Her husband has all of their passports locked away in a safe.

and that's not okay either. It shouldn't be like that ANYWHERE.