Raising a transgender 9 year old

[QuietContraryMary]

www.autostraddle.com/like-the-other-kids-raising-my-trans-child-in-a-cissexist-world-439567/

" I’m super queer, and my co-parent is a trans woman, "

"My child came out as transgender when she was in preschool. She’s nine now. "

"the kids moved to the splash pad area of the playground."

Just get wet in your clothes!” I yell to my kid.

“But it will be uncomfortable! Can I take my shirt off like the other kids? Please?”

“No, because those kids are boys, and you are a girl,"

"My child is standing on the shoulders of Marsha P. Johnson, Sylvia Rivera, Jazz Jennings, and everyone else that has fought so hard for a world where a preschooler can realize she is transgender, be supported by her school’s policies, and have the resources she needs. "

"I’ve mostly vanquished that voice in my head that says I’m not good enough because I’m not straight, but that doesn’t mean it’s gone. I call her Brenda, after Katya Zamolodchikova’s negative voice. "

[note: Katya Zamolodchikova is a drag character played by an Irish American from Florida, on RuPaul's drag race]

"During a talk with the principal, she casually said “All kids mimic their parents, and that’s fine.” Ice ran down my spine; I knew she was revealing that she thinks my kid is only trans because her mama is"

"When I met my child’s first grade teacher, she said that she thinks it’s best to just let my child “be gender neutral” — why make her choose? She went on to explain that she didn’t think such labels were “helpful for childhood development.” My head swirled with this casual condemnation of my parenting and my child’s gender. This teacher had clearly never heard about the struggles agender and genderqueer people go through, either"

"When she says “I wear dresses because I’m a girl,” she’s speaking about her own experiences as a transgender child. “Boys can wear dresses, too, honey,” could seem like I’m saying that wearing dresses isn’t enough for her to be considered a girl."

Catherine Kelly is a social justice organizer, parent, and a queer/bi femme. When not writing, parenting, or bartending, she's usually riding her bike somewhere to eat.

Infuriating and deluded. This comment was interesting, I thought:

‘Thank you for the reminder that there’s no single right way of dealing with gender stereotypes and that breaking them down can do harm to trans kids too.’

So breaking down gender stereotypes is apparently harmful for trans kids, which is in direct conflict with what feminists want. Trans ideology wants to reinforce those stereotypes which means we ‘cis’ women must stick to floral dresses, heels and tinkly laughter. 😡

So we have

An article depicting obvious child abuse, by a heterosexual couple, on a web sight purportedly aimed at lesbians

A calendar with images of drag queens and BDSM baring the logo of a purportedly childrens’ charity

10 year old boys performing drag and having money thrown at them in an adult male gay club

A 10 year old boy posing with a naked man

There is something very wrong going on here. It’s like someone is setting up the backlash by trying to attribute all these obviously abhorrent things that are happening in the name of trans rights onto lesbians and gay men. We need a conversation about this. If anyone has access to all the links could they start a thread? I’m crap at that but it needs to be picked over.

The problem is that there really isn’t much innate difference between boys and girls pre-puberty so if you don’t enforce strict blue/pink gender stereotypes you don’t have much to work with.

According to them being gender non-conforming is borderline transphobic because if boys can wear dresses, how do people know that a trans-identified male wearing a dress is "actually" a woman?

There was a thread about something similar a few months ago.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3354669-Some-lighter-reading-gender-non-confirming-goths-oppress-trans-people

Since being transgender is all about gender stereotypes, if other people are gender non-conforming, but don't identify as trans, it is oppressive to trans people.

This stuff gets more and more insane every day.

It reads like the only people capable of understanding their super special snowflake is ‘queer’ folk.

Despite the fact that the school seemingly bent over backwards to accommodate the delusion the ‘straight as fuck’ staff were never going to be good enough for these super special wokesters.

I also think they are so busy trying to fill the article with buzzwords to sound coherent and knowledgeable they forgot to actually read and think about what they are writing.

Straight as fuck? If you have PIV sex and produce a chikd that's hertero sex unless I'm missing something?

Since being transgender is all about gender stereotypes, if other people are gender non-conforming, but don't identify as trans, it is oppressive to trans people.

Makes sense. I'm off to buy a long blonde wig. Don't want to upset the TRAs.

I'm going to start calling transgender people trans stereotype people.

Datun I have used 'advocates of sex stereotyping' in a couple of contexts. Applies to genderists, trans or not.

vegan cat

It has to be a spoof, surely?

(Aside from that, surely a 9yo of either sex can run around in their pants at a paddling pool?)

I had a look at the Tweet of it

twitter.com/autostraddle/status/1088617451737165824

Various likely looking candidates have liked/retweeted it, so I think there are people taking this shit seriously.

There's a desparate need for editors!

Looking at DH and me you might assume at first glance that we are "straight as fuck".

You bigots. He is a butch-presenting pre-op trans woman and we are lesbians.

pain my boy is similar. Some days he’s in a large pink cardboard castle having a tea party with a bunch of girls. Some days he’s pushing toy cars around.

Both of which are entirely normal and unremarkable in either sex and mean nothing whatsoever other than a child who likes to play. the idea that normal child play is pathologists like this is grotesque.

Can you take your shirt off in the splash park? Well for me it’d depend on the UV index. But we are Pale As Fuck.

Trans ideology wants to reinforce those stereotypes which means we ‘cis’ women must stick to floral dresses, heels and tinkly laughter.

That's the end logic of it all.

(Aside from that, surely a 9yo of either sex can run around in their pants at a paddling pool?)

Not if you are determined to tell everybody that your clothing dictates your sex.

I honestly couldn't keep that straight in my head and I read it twice. When your child has a penis he is your son not daughter and if you're partner is a TW he also has a penis and I assume wear stereotypically 'female' clothing - so as a role model and parent (biological or not) does this boy not already have a role model in the house so he can wear a dress and it's normal? Is the mother a trans man? I'm so confused and worried for that 9 year old boy.

I'm so confused and worried for that 9 year old boy.

Its a heterosexual couple (male and female) raising a male child.

Gaslighting is very powerful.
I think the consequences are seen in the mother's article in both her perceptions as well as her child's

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/a3482864-Penis-News-celebrates-re-education-of-older-woman-Rose-McGowan-after-her-run-in-with-transgender-child-predator-last-year

I read this as (bad) satire. But knowing how far some people get into this whole 'trans 4 year old' type things, it could well not be and be child abuse instead.

So we have

An article depicting obvious child abuse, by a heterosexual couple, on a web sight purportedly aimed at lesbians

A calendar with images of drag queens and BDSM baring the logo of a purportedly childrens’ charity

10 year old boys performing drag and having money thrown at them in an adult male gay club

A 10 year old boy posing with a naked man

There is something very wrong going on here. It’s like someone is setting up the backlash by trying to attribute all these obviously abhorrent things that are happening in the name of trans rights onto lesbians and gay men. We need a conversation about this. If anyone has access to all the links could they start a thread? I’m crap at that but it needs to be picked over.

Agreed, they are setting up homosexual adults as human shields.

"My child is standing on the shoulders of Marsha P. Johnson, Sylvia Rivera, Jazz Jennings, and everyone else that has fought so hard for a world where a preschooler can realize she is transgender ..."

No! He's standing in the pile of shit that you've dumped into his life.

What’s wrong with a feminine man ?

It’s the height (or depth) of misogyny to suggest that anything gendered feminine is wrong for a man. Oh this is such simple Feminism 101 stuff.

As a now-60 yo woman, I am in despair at the muddled thinking around sex and gender.

My child is standing on the shoulders of Marsha P. Johnson, Sylvia Rivera, Jazz Jennings, and everyone else that has fought so hard for a world where a preschooler can realize she is transgender ...
Ugh.More trans appropriation. Both Johnson and Rivera identified themselve primarily as drag queens - gay male transvestites with female pronouns. Neither of them sought gender reassignment.
Rivera, at the end of her life, said "People now want to call me a lesbian because I'm with Julia, and I say, "No. I'm just me. I'm not a lesbian." I'm tired of being labeled. I don't even like the label transgender. I'm tired of living with labels. I just want to be who I am. I am Sylvia Rivera. Ray Rivera left home at the age of 10 to become Sylvia. And that's who I am."
More importantly, both of them were activists fighting not just discrimination, but also to alleviate the high rates of poverty and homelessness amongst gay youth and people of colour. Them fighting for middle-class white five-year olds to have the right be be transgender? They would have thought that was an insane idea!

IME teachers are incredibly reluctant to criticise parents and certainly would not do so without perceiving a threat to the child's well being. The fact that two teachers independently feel this woman is pushing her ideas onto her child strongly enough to bring it up could mean she's been unlucky enough to encounter two unusually judgemental (yet still accomodating) teachers, but I wonder if there is another explanation?

I don’t think any young child comes out and says they are trans. The parents get panicked because they don’t fit into stereotypes boxes, and tell themselves their child must be the opposite sex and then project that onto the child. That’s how it has been with every single young child that apparently comes out as trans. It’s ridiculpus that people can’t see this.