"Because good men deserve great sex"

[puddlefuck]

I've been looking at www.manual.co/guided for work (I work for a pharmacy) and they seem to be trying to sell hair loss and erectile dysfunction treatments by promoting a 'new masculinity' where men open up and talk about their feelings. Which is fine. But as part of this, they are promoting a message that good men deserve great sex. I haven't read through the whole site, but here are two articles with that exact wording:
www.manual.co/guided/erectile-dysfunction-and-testosterone/
www.manual.co/guided/erectile-dysfunction-and-age-questions-answered/

It's given me the rage. But I can't quite put my finger on why. Obviously, the male sexual entitlement message is just plain old wrong, but there's something really unsettling about how they've couched it in this 'new man, talking about my feelings, looking after my wellbeing' brand. It feels reminiscent of the 'Nice Guys of OkCupid' stuff that was doing the rounds a few years back.

Can anyone help me unpick this?

Well, I read the two links that puddlefuck posted and bring a 52 yo bald man with diabetes and ED and the rest of the site too. I came away from them very disappointed. There was nothing in these two articles that could or would help me any more that what my GP is already doing (in being treated for diabetes - I don't give two fucks about the other two conditions, I've got many more things to be getting on with in my life, that are much more important.

If anything I think that they are targeting young men and scare storying them, with a problem that they do not have. Also the sentences used to describe what the should get "wild sex" & "deserve great sex" is being used to make men who think they aren't getting what the are entitled to, that their "advice" will give it to them.

I feel puddlefuck is absolutly right the interpretation of this material. It promotes a couple of male fears, 1,about it not working therefore we aren't quite men anymore. 2, That there is a lot of wild stuff we deserve and we should be getting it.

Both of them are false.

Finally, that site failed miserably at making me want to buy anything from their shop.

Great post disney

Nobody deserves or is entitled to sex. That is INCEL talk!

Sex is one of life's nice bonuses if it all works out that way and there are a million reasons it doesn't work out that way all the time for all of the people.

It is not air or food or water.

MadMum5811 I will try and be kind in my response under the assumption that you genuinely do not understand why the idea of sex being an entitlement is wrong and dangerous.

Nobody, male or female, is entitled to sex. Being entitled to something means that it is your right to demand it. For example, you are entitled to be paid for work that you do (subject to your employment contract). If this payment is not forthcoming, you are within your rights to demand it and to take legal action to claim it if necessary. You are entitled, as a UK resident, to receive NHS treatment for most medical conditions. Again, you are within your legal and moral rights to demand this treatment. There are many more things that you are entitled to as a human being.

NOBODY has any legal or moral right to DEMAND sex from another person. Nobody. You are entitled to want to have sex and you are entitled to leave a relationship that does not fulfill you sexually but you are NOT entitled to demand that somebody have sex with you.

If someone decided that they wanted to have sex with you, but you didn't want to, would you allow it because they are entitled to have sex?

CoastalLife
mind if I make a little correction
^right to demand it^
to
^right to take it^

Disney you're quite right.

candycane222
Thank you.

Overall it's for men to challenge men about their flawed worldviews, well that's my feeling about it

This site doesn't do any challenging, rather it softens and promotes a view, that in my estimations is wrong.

Nobody is entitled to sex. Claiming otherwise is rape apology.

shit that came across a bit wrong.

It is for men to participate in and tbh the leaders in challenging other men's flawed views.

Everyone has a role in changing these outdated male entitlement views, but it is for men to be the models for other men.

I'm digging myself a hole here aren't I

How about

deserves or is entitled to sex = rape culture

Clumsy wording perhaps, clearly they mean it the same way that other advertiser's would say e.g. you deserve a great cup of coffee. Would you say that implies you have a moral or legal entitlement to a cup of coffee ?

I suppose the absolute simplest way to demonstrate why you are wrong, MadMum, is that rape would not be a crime if people were entitled to sex. "It doesn't matter whether she consented or not, m'lud, I was entitled to have sex with her".

By that token, good women deserve great sex too. It's not always achievable for either, some people have to think of other things to do.

Madmum I volunteer my expertise in various women's services, so I feel I might be someone who just might understand the issues to your satisfaction.

No one is entitled to sex.

Not you. Not me. Not men with erectile dysfunction.

And I have failed to have a drum to bang, feminist or otherwise.

Sorry but this is the kind of trite shit that gets said about women all the time:
businessinnovatorsradio.com/0-jessa-zimmerman-welcome-better-sex-deserve-good-sex-life/
psiloveyou.xyz/https-medium-com-changingmaya-ordinary-women-deserve-a-great-sex-life-too-d69ef16f3e9f
www.amazon.co.uk/Pleasure-Womans-Guide-Getting-Deserve/dp/0399532862?tag=mumsnetforum-21
www.elitedaily.com/dating/sex-relationships-withholding/1271219
www.huffingtonpost.co.za/elelwani-netshifhire/this-is-my-vigina-too-women-deserve-good-sex_a_22066842/
These are all just random results from a Google search for "deserve good sex".
The idea of "deserving" is used to counter the self-belief that one is not deserving, such as the L'ORÉAL "because I'm worth it" slogan.
So this is about advising men that they are worth ED treatment and that it will improve their lives, rather than telling them they have an entitlement to another human being as a sex slave.
It's the definitely trite, but that's about it.

I agree with the posters who are saying that no-one is entitled to sex.

As others have said, using the word ‘entitled’ clearly implies you have an absolute right to something - and I cannot see how that applies to sexual intercourse because if a man is entitled to sex, that must mean that their partner has to have sex with them - regardless of whether they want to or not.

How can anyone justify saying this? How is it not rape apology?

I am sure there are women in DV shelters whose husbands/partners believed they were good men and therefore entitled to sex, and who therefore coerced the women into providing it. I wonder if those women would be happy about a campaign aimed at telling men they are entitled to sex?

FlyingOink, yeah I was thinking of those kinds of articles too.
Nobody says OMG women are not entitled access to men's bodies. It's a trite saying.

SDT,... it doesn't use the word entitled, it uses deserve.
It doesn't even say men deserve sex, it says deserve good sex, implying they deserve that the sex they are having is good.

madmum5811 Tue 22-Jan-19 12:57:07

"Men and women are both entitled to sex, ED robs both. You must be very young"

This post says a lot about you. You do realize that women can get pleasure in other ways other than PIV

"both entitled to sex, ED robs both"

Eh!
Lots of other ways to have rilly good sex The brain is the best sex organ ever. It only robs both if you can't think outside the cox

I think telling women they 'deserve' sexual pleasure is more of a reasonable counter to the messages we get, subtle and otherwise, telling us that sex is all about the male orgasm and that female pleasure is inconsequential. And what it usually means is that we deserve the respect and consideration from our partners necessary for us to have pleasurable sexual encounters, and also that we don't deserve to be having uncomfortable or painful sex for the benefit of a male partner.

Whereas men get very different social messages about sex and we know that a disturbingly large number really do feel entitled to sex and see it as something that they deserve for being 'nice' (even though those men are not nice). Some of them become so enraged when they are not getting the access to female bodies that they feel is their birthright that they choose to murder women in revenge. And many more commit rape or pay for sexual access to women's bodies.

I just think the contexts are so different that it is not helpful to compare the two.

I read it the same way as Flyingoink and deydodo

So this is about advising men that they are worth ED treatment and that it will improve their lives, rather than telling them they have an entitlement to another human being as a sex slave.
flyingoink. You are correct. The article says absolutely nothing about being entitled to sex. FGS

Nuffaluff, au contraire - the article specifically says that good men deserve sex. To “deserve” something means to be entitled to it, to have earned it as a reward for one’s behaviour.
This attitude of male entitlement is what leads directly to rape culture. It should absolutely not be encouraged or reinforced by advertising material.

@deydododatdodeydontdo - apologies - I got muddled up - the phrase the OP objects to and other posters talking about men being entitled to sex.

I think my objection still stands - the phrase ‘men deserve good sex’ does strongly imply entitlement, in my opinion. And if a man is going to have sex (good or otherwise) he has to have a sexual partner, and I dislike the way the phrase implies that the sexual pleasures he man deserves takes priority over the wishes of his partner.

If the advert said ‘everyone deserves sexual pleasure’, that would have been very different - as other posters correctly point out, men and women can get sexual pleasure/release on their own - I don’t think someone can have sex on their own.

I think I disagree ED is frequently a comorbidity or secondary condition of a primary such as diabetes, If early I made the correct lifestyle choices to prevent type 2 in the first place I wouldn't have the secondary condition. But treating a secondary doesn't treat the primary which causes the secondary. I would have felt much better if the articles focused on improving lifestyle changes, of which one benefit would be improved sexual function, which in turn leads to these benefits. Instead it was ignore all that think cock first, lads. Ignore the arteries, get a better boner, get a better life, forget the metabolism, what you deserve mate, is a stiff cock. Everyone benefits. Don't bother seeing your GP or medical professional, pop over to our shop and for jystc£32 a month get this, it will solve all your problems, for £384 per year. You know because I have diabetes I'm prescription exempt.

It purports to be aimed at men like me with the conditions, yet what they are doing is targeting a younger audience and scaremongering and rather fact light but infographic heavy.