Not My Nigel!

[charis]

Can we have a balancing thread to celebrate our beloved sons and partners? I'm absolutely sick of the whataboutery and the cries of misandry 😒

It's a fucking miracle we ever go near them but we do.

Anyway. Mine got the fire lit on my birthday and gave me really thoughtful presents. What does yours do? Cos we hate men obviously.

Mine OH is awesome. He is raising my children with me, they are not biologically his. He is thoughtful, sensitive and a great dad.

My**

I'll play, mine does all the washing up and hoovering, because he knows I hate it.
We share the rest of the housework, but I honestly can't remember the last time I did either of those tasks.
He is also very supportive of my career and picks up any slack when I have to go to events either early morning or after hours. (We have a lot of dogs, so that's a bit ask).

DH is currently hoovering. After that he is making tea for a friend. He is also brilliantly clever and brought me breakfast in bed and got me lovely PJs for Christmas.

And his two boys (my stepsons) have always done their fair share around the house and (as far as I am aware), have always treat all women in their lives with respect.
They understand why it's important to make sure that they cross the road to avoid walking behind a lone woman at night.

My DH is lovely. He pulls his weight, sharing the parenting and housework fairly. He also chooses excellent presents. As a consequence, our sons do chores around the house with minimal grumbling and often good cheer, have plenty of female friends and are equally affronted by sexist claptrap as DH and I are.

My DH cooks more meals each week than I do. If I'm tired he will just start cooking. He doesnt spend any money on himself and is supportive of my career. He never even blinked when I earned more than him. When I was made redundant and was determined to set myself up in a business that didn't use my skills, he saw that it was a reflection of my lost confidence and gently reminded me that I was under selling myself. He's a rock. He has never ever given me any reason to feel jealous or insecure. Love him so much.

My dad always ferried me about when I was a teenager to meet up with friends. I can always talk to him about my worries even if we don't agree! He is respectful to women.

My husband is fab! He is great with our children and tells men off in work if they catcall or leer at women. He makes a mean roast dinner and cooked on Xmas day!

My OH does all the laundry, at least 50% of the housework and meal cooking. Most of the driving and shopping because I hate doing it. He sorts uniforms and lunches for everyone, everyday and he brings me a coffee in bed every morning. Frankly, I know I don't deserve him, but I guess I am a bit of a catch hair flick

Fantastic for all these Nigel's!

If you change Nigel into Nigella in the stories above it doesn't sound anything out of the ordinary, in fact I'd say Nigella has it easy.

Although I agree men are (generally) lovely creatures, almost as lovely as us women

Mines such a decent bloke. If I’m at the end of my tether with the DC (often) he knows to give me peace and quiet and take them out. Bloody annoying at times mind you but love him

My 'Nigel' is honest and straightforward, sometimes too bluntly so, but he has principles and is not afraid to stand by them. And they include not restricting our dc to gender stereotypes. Our DSs have had long hair, worn pink, been taught to sew and to speak gently. Our DDs cycle independently to activities and have been taught to solder and to rewire plugs.

He does housework without being asked - if dh sees a job that needs doing, he just gets on with it.

He believes 'the workman is worth his hire' and will never mess someone around to save a few pounds.

He doesn't always recognise when he's hurt my feelings, but always apologises once he understands how I feel. And then remember the incident and try to do things differently.

He is manly, and he is a good man.

Mine cleans the shower as it's a job I really hate. He does all the mucky jobs like food recycling and car stuff - including vacuuming out the child debris. He cooks when I need a break, and hangs the washing out as required. He changes dirty nappies and cleans dog poo off shoes.
He's not perfect - he's a grumpy bastard on broken sleep so I've only called on him when we've illness emergencies, and his patience with toddlers is a lot shorter than mine, but we play to our strengths.
I am a SAHM currently though so the majority of house crap lies with me, but at weekends he pulls his weight with the jobs above.

My Nigel does a more than equal share of housework (though cleaning isn’t his strong suit), and childcare, even though I work part time and in fact am not well enough to be working at all at the moment.

When we met there were a few things I didn’t like about the way he and his friends treated women (not terrible - just not making sure they were safe after a night out etc) and he’s changed all that and won’t go along with macho gubbins to fit in with acquaintances etc.

He is so kind and caring to my niece who has ASD and enables us all to help out with her.

He isn’t ambitious for power at work but has pushed himself as he likes to be challenged by what he does, and wanted to earn good money to support us so that I didn’t have to stay in a job my health wasn’t up to anymore.

I think I don’t deserve him but luckily so far he doesn’t seem to agree.

Ive never cleaned a toilet and ive put the petrol in the car 3 times in my driving career of 31 years

Very hands on dad and does loads of the lifts in evenings and weekends

Cooking for us is probably close to 50/50 and he does most of the cooking at the weekend ( i cook for the children during the week)

He does most of the diy

I dont make the beds after washing the bedding , he does that

The bulk of the housework falls to me but he helps when he is home

He is kind and generous and funny and irritating at times...still handsome, but im not telling him that as he will get a big head

Oh i don't clean showers or baths either

I sluice the bath out if ive had a bath bomb though (sometimes)

My Nigel is awesome. He’s always been my partner and equal.

It never crossed his mind that I’d change my name on marriage. He’s parenting style is gender critical and he supports our DC’s choices.

Mine does more school run and cooking than I do due to working shifts as a police officer. Some school run is at the expense of getting enough sleep so when he is on nights he gets up in time to collect DS, I come home to a cooked dinner and my Nigel goes back to bed for a couple of hours before he goes to work.

He used to specialise in investigating hate crime and domestic violence. He went back into uniform so we could move back to my home town.

My personal Nigel:

1. Does ALL the childrearing when he's at home (and he does not work crazy long hours at all), I do not lift a finger.

1. Does the morning schoolrun so that I, a SAHM, can get my beauty sleep.

1. is the world's biggest TERF and evangelises everyone he meets

1. Actively stands up for women and calls out sexism and harrassment of women wherever he sees it

1. Talked his boss into providing free sanpro in staff toilets

1. His wages go into my bank account. He gets a small weekly allowance and likes it.

1. Never NAMALTS. Never argues with me. Agrees with the tenets of radical feminism wholeheartedly and would love to see the back of the patriarchy. Strongly believes that toxic masculinity is a thing.

1. Has no expectations re. performative femininity. Whether I'm tarted up Instagram-model style, or with full body hair and zero makeup, he doesn't give a flying fig. Loves my shape though.

1. Generally does as he's told and is the world's most passive man.

10. Is sharp, intelligent, well-read and has his own interests. Loves parenting far more than I do, and is more than happy to take the child out and leave me in peace whenever I fancy not seeing either of them for a few hours.

My Nigel is a typical sahm. He carries the mental load, does all housework, cleaning, shopping and childcare, and also takes care of me. I'm the breadwinner. Neither job is tougher or less rewarding. I love him to bits and massively appreciate how he has fully enabled me to have it all. Of course it's only what women have been doing for decades without expecting plaudits. But I truly appreciate his contribution to our lifestyle and I know it takes both of us.

My son is a fab dad (to 2 girls who he loves to bits) a loyal and much appreciated friend to a glorious selection of m/f, straight/gay, old/young - even including one Tory (although he does try to explain where he's going wrong over a pint or two). He calls to see his aged grandma several times a week, keeps her stocked with sherry, and is the most kind and loving son. He's been a rock to me over the past few difficult years. Bless him!

My Nigel (lol) is a proper diamond- he's always done most of the housework and cooking, but he hasn't let me lift a finger since I was diagnosed with breast cancer with metastasies to my spine. He is truly loving and supportive, and he's been a great cheerleader for the cause since he was peak-transed .

Oldstyle, he sounds a real good 'un- well done on a great job!