DM: I believe I'm proof no man can truly become a woman

[TimeLady]

A poignant story in the Mail today

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-6493959/Transsexual-warn-reality-transexual.html

What a sad article. But I imagine that there as many sad stories like this as there are stunning tales of success. For me, it highlights the importance of proper counseling and consideration before any medical intervention happens. Because unhappy people who are socially at odds will be so no matter what they wear.

I would prefer to listen to transpeople as to what they think about sexual reassignment surgery

Trouble is there was massive lobbying in to prevent this particular story being told. Who knows what other tales of regret are not heard.

"Why should best practice for one type of dysphoria (eg gender) differ so completely from treatments for other types of dysphoria?"

This has always bothered me about trans ideology. If a 7 stone anorexic is certain they are fat and they would be happy if only they could weigh 6 stone, you would be castigated if you pointed them in the directions of weightwatchers and agreed they were a bit chubby. But with trans people, we are apparently supposed to confirm their dysphoria.

Well again, I would prefer to listen to transpeople as to what they think about sexual reassignment surgery, instead of trying to tell transpeople what would and wouldn't make them happy!

Then perhaps you need to go and find a suitable forum? If you can't cope with hearing feminist viewpoints you are in the wrong place, there are plenty of other boards on mumsnet where you'll find a more receptive audience.

I would prefer to listen to transpeople as to what they think about sexual reassignment surgery

Off you pop then. They're not hard to find.

I'm not interested in talking about SRS surgery on here either, other than to point out it has fuck all to do with women because human beings cannot change sex.

It's such a sad story. So many things compounding her experience.
The reality that she has faced is harsh but true and I am so glad she has written this article. It is impossible to change sex. When you try, you will never quite fit or be accepted in any meaningful sense.
Kids are being told a lie and that needs to be pointed out.

Lack of sexual or romantic partners is a consideration that many people overlook. Pre-internet, gay people flocked to cities. Partially due to an easier life there, greater acceptance, etc but certainly partly due to the fact there was a "scene", the chance of being able to choose a potential partner, have friends similar to oneself, etc.
Even with the internet trans people don't have that. They can hang out in groups, but trans isn't a sexuality so there's no impetus to form social groups, socialise, flirt, dance etc. It's amazing how much of a driver that is. Add that to the fact many trans people prefer straight or gay people as potential partners instead of other trans people and the pool gets smaller.
So you've got a tiny group, spread out, tagging on to gay groups at a time when the gay scenes are disappearing due to Grindr, chemsex, smoking bans and high drink prices along with much greater social acceptance - now you can be as gay as you like in wetherspoons why trek to the gay bar in the other side of town with the sticky carpet?
Transwomen I have known have had a hard time finding partners who weren't abusive, exploitative or fetishistic. Transmen just paired off with lesbians and then got annoyed they weren't being taken seriously as men, despite never leaving female spaces. The apron strings never got cut. I sometimes wonder if that's one reason why we have the cotton ceiling nonsense. Transmen and transwomen conversing, and the transmen letting slip that the most inclusive demographic group is lesbians...transwomen thinking "yep I'll have me some of that" and it not quite working out?

Very interesting post FlyingOink

Very perceptive, FlyingOink

I'm beginning to see how a male who finds himself attracted to heterosexual males might consider becoming a 'woman' as their only option. Quite a conundrum.

I would prefer to listen to transpeople as to what they think about sexual reassignment surgery

As transsexual myself I can give you my perspective.

Changing sex is impossible. The best SRS achieves is an "artistic representation" of a vagina which creates a body more in line with a person's preferred gender. There are many risks with the surgery.

There is however one important point to consider. For many, especially those AGP, the belief is that SRS gives a vagina comparable to a biological female but truth is the vagina is a non lubricating, non stretchy inside out scrotum !

Where SRS is successful I believe is for those whose focus isn't so much in having a vagina but those for who dysphoria/dysmorphia means having a penis causes extreme distress and they just want rid of the penis.

For me I cannot begin to describe the years since childhood of hating my penis... the many times I tried to work out ways to self mutilate. The times I used to plan doing something in a hospital car park. The body modification artists I researched who I thought could do something. An erection would trigger a panic attack. I grow up seeing my penis as a birth defect or cancerous growth and no amount of therapy changed that.That's a very very different scenario to "I like vaginas so I want one".

I wholeheartedly agree with many here that unrealistic expectations are being given. I do think in some cases there is a tremendous value in the operation but for many it isn't going to resolve anything.