Bad Sex award (books)

[bluescreen]

Forgive me if this has been covered elsewhere. Mostly these are risible but the Murakami is disturbing.

Killing Commendatore by Haruki Murakami
My ejaculation was violent, and repeated. Again and again, semen poured from me, overflowing her vagina, turning the sheets sticky. There was nothing I could do to make it stop. If it continued, I worried, I would be completely emptied out. Yuzu slept deeply through it all without making a sound, her breathing even. Her sex, though, had contracted around mine, and would not let go. As if it had an unshakeable will of its own and was determined to wring every last drop from my body.

bad book awards

That's bad.

That is indeed seriously creepy. And rapey. Eurgh. One to cross off my list.

Now admittedly it could be (in context) a deliberate and fascinating and brilliantly written study of a sexual predator. But fuck me, there's enough of them out there in the real world. I don't need them turned into "art."

This is the nearest to funny. Trying to think why the pepper mill is enamelled

“Empty my tanks,” I’d begged breathlessly, as once more she began drawing me deep inside her pleasure cave. Her vaginal ratchet moved in concertina-like waves, slowly chugging my organ as a boa constrictor swallows its prey. Soon I was locked in, balls deep, ready to be ground down by the enamelled pepper mill within her.

Now admittedly it could be (in context) a deliberate and fascinating and brilliantly written study of a sexual predator. But fuck me, there's enough of them out there in the real world. I don't need them turned into "art."

Admittedly, Fermats , I haven't read the book so don't know if the context excuses it by showing the narrator generally to be an utter creep. Its inclusion in the award shortlist suggests not. But I agree with you: enough if them out there in the real world. Except, maybe men don't realise it?

That's nasty rather than bad. Bad is the Jilly Cooper elasticated waist trousers thing - that's nasty and rapey. The others in the example are awful Cum. Cum. Cum. Well done, love. No use punctuation evenly please.

"Empty my tanks" is already on its way to becoming a mocking catchphrase in certain quarters.

@Melamin that actually made me snort my tea out my nose a bit

Probably a dream of one of the characters. Murakami often has weird sex dreams in his novels.

And he’s been nominated for this award before.

Bleurgh. Who'd want to have sex with these men? Most were just disgusting but the one you quoted is rape. If she's asleep no consent was given. Also he must have drugged her or have a tiny penis for her not to notice him humping away on top of her.

I've read every Murakami and the stories themselves are quite interesting. I prefer his early books, the later ones have often included supernatural sex, all badly written and IMO completely unnecessary. His sex scenes always make me cringe and having just finished this book, this scene is not violent, but could be construed as rapey... Spolier

It happens in a dream Which males me concerned about the author's psyche frankly.

Oooof, these are terrible- are they trying to win the award, do you think?

I used to like haruki murakami!

Intrigued by the ratchetting, concertinaing, pleasure cave/enamelled pepper mill thing.

Well it's better than "front hole" I suppose
😂😂😂

Intrigued by the ratchetting, concertinaing, pleasure cave/enamelled pepper mill thing.

I shall never think of my vag in the same way again.

In one way, I have sympathy. I write fanfic (I know, I know, hangs head in shame) and writing sex scenes is difficult, and frankly there are many, many more ways to write incredibly cringey stuff than there are to get it right. And writing sex scenes puts you "out there" in a way that no other aspect of your writing does. But even so - these are just bad! I mean, "Legolas by Laura" levels of bad.

Thanks, JaneR0chester, that is mildly reassuring. It would be a sad day when real people are criticised for their dreams, but a novelist can totally choose which dreams to write about because s/he is creating them. So Murakami is saying something about his character here, and at its most generous interpretation the narrator's dream is selfish and rapey. Does that help us understand the character better? Is this a book I need to read?

So Murakami is saying something about his character here

Yes, absolutely. The rule of thumb always given in creative writing courses for "serious novels" is "only write sex scenes if they're needed for character development or plot, and it's telling you something you can't get across any other way". (Arguably, even for the sort of crapola I write, your sex scenes still need to be "in character.")

Having said that - a novelist's world encompasses the whole of humanity, the good, the bad, the ugly, the morally complex, the morally conflicted. Because a novelist has decided it is interesting to write about a character who's at best a bit of a mess with some weird fantasies, and at worst a sexual predator and (at least in his dreams) rapist shouldn't be taken as the writer endorsing those views.

Viewed in this light, I think I actually find the extract from William Wall's book more disturbing. (Okay based on a short extract, and it may be better in context). The extract describes a young woman having sex for the first time with a man twenty years older than her, and just doesn't read true to me at all. Why make your protagonist a young woman if you can't get inside women's heads at all?

I saw this too. I was looking forward to a giggle reading this (I read the previous years’ ones recently having never heard of the awards before) but it took a nasty turn reading that one

a novelist's world encompasses the whole of humanity, the good, the bad, the ugly, the morally complex, the morally conflicted. Because a novelist has decided it is interesting to write about a character who's at best a bit of a mess with some weird fantasies, and at worst a sexual predator and (at least in his dreams) rapist shouldn't be taken as the writer endorsing those views.

Yes, agree with that. Of course it shouldn't be taken as the view of the writer, but you wonder why the writer is choosing to write about it. (It's disturbing having seen male poets attempting to write about rape either from the rapist's POV or from the imagined victim's, often in the form of extended monologue. Why? )

Yes, the choice of subject matter is always interesting.

And sometimes you do get the distinct impression that the author's own fantasies are seeping through. (I remember a WTF moment at one of the sex scenes in Miss Smilla's Feeling for Snow which supposedly told us how she felt about sex, and I just found myself thinking "but that's a male fantasy you're writing.")

BTW does anyone else absolutely hate, loathe and detest the word "cum"? I think it is a word that is beyond rescuing.

BTW does anyone else absolutely hate, loathe and detest the word "cum"? I think it is a word that is beyond rescuing.

Yes. Ugh. Suspect in my case it has a lot to do with the cutesy minimising by the misspelling.

I just cannot get beyond "enamelled pepper mill"
WTF?

‘Enamelled pepper mill’ sounds like a disparaging term for a Dalek.

It also sounds like someone brave and stunning who would be totally triggered if you deadnamed them.

‘The Liberal Democrat’s are proud the announce their new Head of Social Inclusion, 18 year old Miss Enamelled Pepper Mill, taking a year’s sabbatical from Goldsmiths College’.

Enamelled pepper mill’ sounds like a disparaging term for a Dalek