Also, you do have to accept that there is another human being at stake. Intended parents aren’t vetted and when there isn’t the biological link or bond established through pregnancy, attachment is going to be harder work.
Knowing who our biological ancestors are and wanting to learn about them is a natural part of our forming our identity and learning about our place in the world.
There’s something deeply unsettling about knowing your mum was perhaps flogging her eggs for cash and you were using the body of a woman to gestate. That you were created to order to please adults.
Surrogacy is immoral regardless of the sexuality of the couple, but I have to admit that willfully depriving a child of a mum really upsets me. The child is craving the warmth, the smell, the heartbeat of the woman who has carried them and is cruelly snatched away & in some cases deprived of a woman altogether, on the grounds of ‘love’ and often justified on the basis that the child will want for nothing materially.
Everyone deserves the chance of a mum don’t they, even if some mums are less than ideal. We rightly push for equality everywhere, so why can’t we apply that equality to a child having access to a female parent?
You should check out the surro forums of women who have just gone through the process & are in that post-partem period. The dissonance is heart-breaking. There they are bleeding and sobbing, affirming each other that their tears and grief, pain and loss is irrational and that this will pass.