Tonight I've had a bit of a shit night. Some guy decided I was a soft touch and when I challenged him about being rude, took it upon himself to belittle me by referring to me as a 'little lady'. Suffice to say I went nuts at him, saying he was sexist, how he'd never say that to a man, and how he was deliberately trying to belittle me. All of which he denied. Naturally.
My sex, is one of the main reasons I happen to be 5'1". It's got nothing to do with how many babies I've pushed out. My size is why I am so frequently challenged in a way that 6'2" DH never is (who wasn't with me tonight). He is not patronised nor literally spoken down to. He doesn't have people pat his head.
I can't identify out of my size. It's something that goes further than gender stereotypes; your size affects how others assess you as someone who is easy to challenge or perhaps you might be wiser to keep your mouth shut. It contains a huge amount of power dynamics.
Women who are particularly small feel that size diffence most. Bigger and tall women feel it too, but I'd argue not quite so acutely. It's harder to assert yourself in a room of men when you can't make eye contact with them. It's harder to even be part of a conversation if everyone else present is over 6ft. (Remind me the phrase 'going over someone's head. Would it have sexist overtones?)
Your size is determined by your sex.
I bet if you were to do a study based on human interaction by size, it'd throw up some interesting patterns. With women faring worse. Across the board. Purely because of that physicality that does not get erased even if you try to erase sex.
I'm sick to the back teeth of it. I'm sick of being expected to defer and just suck this up.
Your sex is important - because its not just about your bits, it's also about stature and presence in no small part.
Attempting to reduce it to that, misses a HUGE part of the argument.
I note that the populas poll picked up on this area. A certain percentage of those saying they believed that trans women were women, faltered at the question over sports and didn't automatically agree without question that trans women should compete with women. Instead they said don't know or prefer not to say. In other words, they were subconsciously acknowledging they were uncomfortable with the physical difference and how this disadvantaged women.
The woke polled could get their heads around lady peni. They could not ignore the other issues related to sex and physicality.
You can not ignore either. It renders the lived experience of us 'little ladies' as completely devoid of value. It says, that calling us 'little ladies' isnt completely loaded in its sexist undertone. It says its fine to try and intimidate on that fashion.
Why do men do that? Remind me.