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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Exactly like TGT said it would work out...

51 replies

TimIsHavingABadDay · 16/10/2018 16:53

I came across the whole trans/feminism thing a few years ago when my beautiful amazing son announced on Christmas eve 2015 that he wanted to kill himself. He didn't know who he was, he had been growing his hair over the previous 3-4 years and was a little effeminate and very autistic ( in the most wonderful ways, I love him to bits). After leaving school he lost his support, hated college, ended up flunking and on suicide watch. We eventually ended up in a gender clinic where he revealed he thinks about dressing up as a girl and likes makeup etc. I went out and bought him the eyeliner that he wanted. Said I would buy him clothes etc and support him-but not medically.

Anyway. Fast forward to this week and over the last 3 years he has settled back into a new college and is planning to go to uni next year. He has changed his name to another male name as it turns out he had issues to do with having his bio dad's name ( he was very abusive) and he didn't remember him.

And he just told me a few days ago that he is gay and has a boyfriend!

I am so ridiculously happy that I could honestly cry. He has found somebody that see his specialness and embraces it. And he is not chopping parts of his body off and flooding his body with foreign hormones. These days, we even agree about the trans politics (to a certain extent) and he can see how toxic it is. Especially for an autistic kid that is desperate to belong.

I want to thank all the people that post on here. I would have been lost without you all linking to various groups and information. And transgendertrend. Lilly Maynard. Michele Moore. Just THANK YOU!

OP posts:
speakingwoman · 16/10/2018 16:54

:)

SpartacusAutisticusAHF · 16/10/2018 16:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 16/10/2018 16:56

That's great OP Smile Is he happier now too, or is that still a work in progress?

FermatsTheorem · 16/10/2018 16:56

Hooray - I love a happy ending! Flowers for you and your lovely son (and lovely son's new lovely BF).

Popchyk · 16/10/2018 16:56

"I am so ridiculously happy that I could honestly cry."

That is just so lovely. Well done to you and your boy.

TigerDrankAllTheWaterInTheTap · 16/10/2018 16:56

So glad there's a happy ending. Well done to you for being his rock. Flowers Wine Gin Cake Star

Barracker · 16/10/2018 16:57

Happy for you, happy for your son.
Desperately wish every child caught up in the big lie could emerge unscathed and unharmed like this.

Thanks for posting

hangry · 16/10/2018 16:57

god that's brilliant. made me a bit tearful.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 16/10/2018 16:57
Flowers
nicenewdusters · 16/10/2018 16:58

So pleased your son has found his way. Sounds like you've been the most fantastic support.

BernardBlacksWineIcelolly · 16/10/2018 16:58
Flowers

that is fantastic news OP. It must have been so hard on both of you, but so pleased he's now happy, without altering his body

newtlover · 16/10/2018 16:58

that's lovely to read, you must be so relieved.

bellabelly · 16/10/2018 17:00

Aw, that has brought a tear to my eye too. Lovely news.

BettyDuMonde · 16/10/2018 17:01

How wonderful!

I’m so glad he’s happy and hasn’t gone the lifetime-medical-patient route ❤️
Big high five for you for getting you both through the bad times and out into the sunshine ☀️

My ASD son has recently turned a positive corner too - life between 12-16 was relentlessly rocky but he seems to have weathered the shit storm that is adolescence and has now turned 18 and gone off to uni with a part time shelf stacking job in the evenings (and this is a kid who was threatening suicide in school and spent almost all of year 8 at home).

OlennasWimple · 16/10/2018 17:02

Yay to you both!

NoRunAround · 16/10/2018 17:04
Flowers
Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 16/10/2018 17:04

That's amazing news! Well done to both of you and I hope your DS has a happy future.

bluetitsaretits · 16/10/2018 17:07

Well done -you've handled a difficult situation brilliantly.
Flowers to you and your son.

R0wantrees · 16/10/2018 17:09

So so pleased to read this. Flowers

Oldstyle · 16/10/2018 17:10

Wonderful. So pleased for you and your lovely boy. Flowers

LangCleg · 16/10/2018 17:11

I'm so happy for you and your son, OP. Flowers

TimIsHavingABadDay · 16/10/2018 17:13

@ItsAllGoingToBeFine He has been coping very well for the last 8 months or so. We had to get him a short course of private counselling and psychotherapy that almost bankrupted us and we also got him through his driving test and got him a car that has really been life changing for him. I stayed away from the NHS as much as possible after the first appointment as I felt they were just box ticking and forcing him down a bottle neck or threatening to reject him as unhelpable.

Ultimately, this entire 3 year spell has been because he knows he has feelings, but he can't label them or reliably report them. He knows very happy but guilt/sadness/envy are just a big confusing grey area. In fact we were offered an appointment three years ago with an autism specialist and we are still waiting now! He had a short 6 month course of anti depressants and that helped along with the therapy.

@BettyDuMonde Nice to hear another rocky teenage spell has levelled out. Im delighted for you :D

OP posts:
HemanOrSheRa · 16/10/2018 17:14

Wonderful! I wish your lovely son every happiness in the next stage of his life Smile. And sending you gentle squeeze too TimIsHavingABadDay Flowers.

BigotedWoman · 16/10/2018 17:20

Oh that is so good to hear OP. Flowers for you both.

deepwatersolo · 16/10/2018 17:23

I am so happy for your son!!! All the best! Flowers